Friday, February 15, 2008

Another Low, Dirty Machine Trick

Yes, you already know that machines hate me, for I have bitched and complained endlessly about it here. But their campaign is relentless, and their attempts to screw up my life are neverending.

It wasn't enough that my car left me stranded in the center of three lanes at a major intersection earlier this week, or that my computer occasionally simply decides to do something wacky that will eliminate hours of work (regardless of how often I've saved or backed up).

This morning, my alarm didn't go off.

Actually, it did go off, but I didn't hear it because the problem is not with the alarm per se, but with the volume control on the clock radio. The volume is controlled by a slider, which has two settings - off and way-too-loud - separated by the tiniest and most fragile of margins. If the control is set to way-too-loud (as it must be) and, for instance, Amanda slams a door in Palembang, the control slips to off.

Amanda slammed the door this morning.

Agnes shook me awake at 4:30 (my usual alarm time is 4:10), sweetly and urgently asking me if I knew what time it was. Now, since I am a creature of habit who depends upon my morning rituals to ease into the working day, my whole morning schedule is fried and the rest of the day is in question. AARRGGHH!!

Today is payday. Tomorrow, I'm buying a new clock radio. And I'm going to make sure the new clock radio doesn't have a chance to meet the old one before I install it.

But it won't matter, because they're all linked on some unknown level of mechanical consciousness.

And they're all out to get me.

Watch out for your own machines...when they get tired of screwing around with me, they may turn on you.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

5 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I think it's a conspiracy. My clock radio didn't go off today either. Thankfully everyone in my house is awake long before I have to be, so I never have the chance to sleep in.

NathanRyder said...

You woke up twenty minutes late, I woke up thirty minutes early... The world is almost in balance!

I hate not getting up at the "right" time, and know exactly what you mean about needing the morning ritual to ease myself into the day.

Amanda said...

LOL! I'll try to keep things quiet until you've got the new alarm clock safely installed.

Hope you still had a good day yesterday. It was afterall a Friday AND payday.

Trix said...

Payday?? You have a payday?? Lol,lucky You !
I can totally identify with this post..machines really are out to get me,I have to say 'hi' to my washing machine...or I swear it looks at me in a certain way that sends shivers up my spine.
Great post...it gives me inspiration for something I was thinking of writing on my own blog,lol.
Oh, at last,I bookmarked your blog cos I just lost the link too often.Have a great day over there..

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A new machine is a good idea...if you can master it.