Thursday, September 18, 2008

From the "Wonderful Headlines" Department

There's a wonderful book by a PhD teacher of English named Richard Lederer titled "Anguished English," which is his compendium of the most hideous assaults on the language by children, college students, and professionals who ought to know better. One section of the book is devoted to "Two-Headed Headlines" - those banners in the newspaper that may or may not be intentionally goofy. Some of Professor Lederer's examples include:

Police Discover Crack in Australia (watch out, Amanda!);

Doctor Testifies in Horse Suit (the trial date was probably October 31st);

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One (after a while, even beloved grandchildren can drive you nuts);

Many Antiques Seen at D.A.R. Meeting (for those of you not in the U.S., "D.A.R." stands for "Daughters of the American Revolution"...draw your own conclusions);

Men Recommend More Clubs for Wives (the poll was probably taken among Pakistani and Saudi Muslims...see here for more information); and,

Robber Holds Up Albert's Hoisery (Albert's face must really have been red).

I thought about this topic when I saw this headline on the CNN website this morning: Stripper Wells Target Energy Crisis.

If you actually click the link, the title of the article is a bit different and makes more sense. But I like the front page headline better. Who is the stripper named Wells who is taking on the energy crisis? Can she (he?) do a better job than Congress? Or does it refer to the source from which we get strippers? Where do I sign up? And if I did own a stripper well at my age, wouldn't I end up with an energy crisis of my own?

Sigh.

Well, I've been on vacation the last three days, getting my in-laws settled in for their two-week visit. In honor of the occasion, super-cute great-granddaughter Leya has come down with a miserable cold, which I will no doubt contract in due course since she loves her grandpa and always wants to share everything with him...

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

5 comments:

Amanda said...

Kids are so generous. Aaron is constantly stuffing things in our faces too!

Maybe you can try some echinacea for Leya AND yourself. I find it works well for us.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Thanks for the giggles this morning...with the state of this country...we need all the laughs we can get :)

bandit said...

Did you see the one.........??

McCain hits a home run with Palin.

Don't go there Mike, it's just a statement.

Mike said...

I looked at the stripper well article. The stripper in the picture was just getting started. Bummer.

Hale McKay said...

I gotta look for this title. I love Richard Lederer's books.