Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Are Women Evil?

Women have gotten a bad rap ever since Eve snuck the bite of the apple. Labor pains, earning less than men for doing the same job, having to wear thongs, medieval religious beliefs that make you a second-class citizen...yes, it can be tough to be a woman.

But did you know that it can be mathematically proven that women are actually evil? Consider this...

First, we state that women require time and money:

Women = Time x Money

It is well-known that time is money:

Time = Money

Therefore, substituting for like terms we have:

Women = Money x Money = Money2

And because we know that money is the root of all evil:

Money =evil

Therefore:

Women = (evil)2

From which we conclude that:

Women = Evil

I know it's horrifying, but you just can't argue with the math.

Have a good day. Ladies, take your best shot back.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

8 comments:

Bandit said...

WOW! You're playing with fire today. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Al Qaeda will never figure out your address, but I know 50% of the people who live on your block are women.

Perhaps when they show up on your lawn with pitchforks, axes, tar, feathers, and a rope, you can plead temporary insanity.

Or, for a small fee I think I can arrange around the clock protection by a mixed Seal/SAS/Israeli team (recently returned from a successful engagement in Dubai!) to protect you from hostile forces in skirts.


It's been nice knowing you, Bilbo.

Eminence Grise

PS: I don't consider it abandoning you that I told my wife that I had never heard of you. Any man would have done the same thing under the circumstances.

Leslie David said...

I think all we need is for Agnes to read this. She'll know what to do.

Mike said...

EG said - "Perhaps when they show up on your lawn with pitchforks, axes, tar, feathers, and a rope,...."

If they show up in leather thongs, call me. I want to watch.

SusieQ said...

I know you're just kidding.

You are just kidding, right?

(maybe not...hm.)

AGNES! HELP!

Bilbo said...

Boy, nobody has a sense of humor any more. I thought I'd at least get credit for figuring out how to get a square root symbol into my post...

vw: predafeg - a new drug to cure predators?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think you need to lay low for a while. There are females on the prowl!

GreenCanary said...

The cheese stands alone on this one (me being the cheese), but I'm proud of my evilness. If I wasn't evil, how else could I take over the world? No. Being evil is definitely an asset. Definitely.

wv: calinge - my super secret evil code name