At some point in their young lives, every child goes through a dinosaur phase. I did, my children did, and I see it now in my grandchildren - a fascination with gigantic, ferocious, deadly animals often shown in movies chasing comely maidens dressed in animal skins. When children grow up, some of them never get over their fascination with dinosaurs, and they become paleontologists, scientists who spend their lives in remote deserts in search of fragments of old bones, from which they extrapolate entire whole dinosaurs.
I bring this all up because scientists in Utah appear to have discovered two hitherto unknown species of dinosaur: Kosmoceratops richardsoni and Utahceratops gettyi.
As you might suspect from their rather elegant names, these dinosaurs appear to have been related to the famous Triceratops, known to generations of dinosaur-admiring children for the three large horns protruding from its head ...
The newly-discovered Kosmoceratops is a bit more elegant that this, sporting not three, but 15 horns on its head. This is an artist's reconstruction ...
That, let me tell you, is one horny dinosaur. It appears to be the most ornately-headed beast ever discovered, and that includes Lady GaGa ...
According to scientists who know much more about horny dinosaurs than I, the horns probably evolved as a way to attract mates and intimidate sexual competitors. The modern analogy is the antlers on a deer, or the weapons carried by thugs.
But I digress.
Living as I do in Northern Virginia, well within the influence of the massive black hole known as Congress (a gravitational sinkhole so powerful that nothing can escape from it, including leadership and common sense), I am quite familiar with dinosaurs, at least the modern variety. Congress is, after all, full of them. You have probably seen this notable fossil recently excavated from Capitol Hill ...
Species of dinosaur native to Washington include Nonono Republicanii (common name: the Hardheaded Conservative), characterized by the armor-plated head which prevents new ideas from penetrating its walnut-sized brain, and Taxandspend Pelosii (common name: the Profligate Liberal), which can be recognized by its tendency to redistribute the meager possessions of other dinosaurs.
Both are good arguments for extinction, but appear to be in no danger thereof because of their ability to make the sort of loud noises like-minded dinosaurs want to hear, and to trample other dinosaurs whose noises they don't like.
So, when election day rolls around in about six weeks, rather than digging up the same old bones, why not consider speeding the extinction of some of these lizards which have outlived their time?
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.