Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Guest Post

Hey, everybody! I'm back again - it's me, Nessa, the dog that lives with Bilbo and Agnes. I thought I'd take a break from helping Bilbo rake leaves in the yard and try my hand ... uh ... paw at this blogging thing again. I know it hasn't been too long since I last wrote something here (I don't do it often because it's hard to type with paws, you know), but I just had to give you a dog's-eye view of something Bilbo saw in the paper yesterday: Fairfax Neighbors Head to Court Over Unscooped Dog Poop.

The short version of the story is this: two neighbors in our area are fighting because Baxter, the dog that takes care of one of them, has been pooping in the other one's yard, and the poopee (I made that word up!) is mad because she says Baxter's person didn't pick up the poop and take it away. This is Baxter -

According to the story, the poopee is pretty upset ... she has put on something called a lawsuit (I think it's a kind of scary Halloween costume) to make Baxter's person pick up the poop. She has even taken pictures of the poop, and hired a company to analyze it and prove it belongs to Baxter.

You humans never cease to amaze me.

When we dogs have an argument, we circle each other and growl and put on a big show of anger. Sometimes we tussle with each other a bit, but we always end up getting together and rolling in something smelly to show there are no hard feelings. You humans don't do that, though. You'd rather waste money better spent on toys and treats on analyzing poop and putting on lawsuits to force each other to do the right thing.

You can say what you want about Bilbo, but he always picks up my poop. Sometimes, he even picks up other dogs' poop when their people don't do it themselves. I personally think it's kind of dumb, considering that he spends good money on manure for his garden that I give him for free, but I guess he figures that not everybody likes natural stuff. And he doesn't want me to help him try on any of those dumb lawsuits.

Lawsuits. Talk about stupid human tricks.

Also, I want to give a shout to Izzy, the dog that lives with Peg. Izzy has been sick, but she's better now. I know how miserable it can be for us dogs to be sick, and I'm glad Izzy's okay. Hey, Peg, give her a treat for me, okay?

That's all for now. I just wanted to tell you how dumb I think this whole lawsuit thing is. Quit wasting money and acting stupid ... just pick up the poop, sniff each other's butts, and move on. Life's too short.

Have a good day. Bilbo will be back tomorrow with thoughts of his own, and he says he'll leave the poop discussions to Chrissy.

Woof!

Nessa

7 comments:

Banister said...

Hi, my name is Kahlua, and I am the cat who lives with Banister and Wayne in the dorm room. Or as Skip says, until the RA finds out I'm here.

I have a nice litter box to poop in so I don't understand pooping in neighbor's yards. Pooping in my box sure beats pooping under bushes, which I had to do before Skip found me after that party, and Friskies is way better than catching those nasty feral mice which bite back.

So Skip wanted to know why the poopee didn't just throw the dog poop back into the pooper's yard and be done with it?

While I was still running the streets I used to see dogs like that Baxter. They're always mouthy and their human staff think they're cute. Real dogs like Nessa never have anything to do with dogs like Baxter. Little twerp.

Meow.

Kahlua.

Anonymous said...

I saw this on the news yesterday Nessa....silly silly humans!

Thanks Nessa -I got a couple of treats. I think you are my new best friend!(Don't tell Rick.)
Izzy

eViL pOp TaRt said...

But Nessa, isn't a dog's voidings and defecations a mode of asserrting dominance and territoriality? Maybe Baxter is sending the other dog a message.

Poopee and pooper are great words. Is poopee pronounced like the French word poupée?

Nessa said...

Hi, Kahlua! Normally I don't much interest in talking to cats, but since you were nice enough to comment, I'll answer. Yep, you guys have it better than we do with that pooping-in-the-box thing, especially in the wintertime. Pooping in a snowbank is no fun, I can tell you! And you're right - a dog like Baxter is just a sissified wimp. People who want a dog need to get a REAL dog, like me or Izzy!

Izzy, my Main Canine! Glad to hear from you, and glad you got your treats! Maybe someday we can get together and chase some cats or frisbees or something!

Angelique - I guess it's possible that Baxter is sending a message, but a wimpy little dog like that can't send too much of a message, if you get my drift. In any case, we do mark our territory by peeing; by pooping, not so much...that's more a thing of necessity (you wouldn't BELIEVE how upset Bilbo gets when I can't wait to get outside, so I always do my best to hold on until he can take me out). As for the pronunciation of "poopee," I don't know any French, so I guess you'll have to decide that one for me. You seem like a nice lady, so I'll go with whatever answer you like. Woof!

Nessa said...

Hi, Kahlua! Normally I don't much interest in talking to cats, but since you were nice enough to comment, I'll answer. Yep, you guys have it better than we do with that pooping-in-the-box thing, especially in the wintertime. Pooping in a snowbank is no fun, I can tell you! And you're right - a dog like Baxter is just a sissified wimp. People who want a dog need to get a REAL dog, like me or Izzy!

Izzy, my Main Canine! Glad to hear from you, and glad you got your treats! Maybe someday we can get together and chase some cats or frisbees or something!

Angelique - I guess it's possible that Baxter is sending a message, but a wimpy little dog like that can't send too much of a message, if you get my drift. In any case, we do mark our territory by peeing; by pooping, not so much...that's more a thing of necessity (you wouldn't BELIEVE how upset Bilbo gets when I can't wait to get outside, so I always do my best to hold on until he can take me out). As for the pronunciation of "poopee," I don't know any French, so I guess you'll have to decide that one for me. You seem like a nice lady, so I'll go with whatever answer you like. Woof!

Mike said...

Nessa, there's an old human trick that's appropriate this time of year. The poopee puts the poopers dropping in a paper bag, takes it to the poopers house, sets the bag on fire, rings the door bell and runs. It's lots of fun.

Chrissy said...

Nessa is so adorable!!

Question: at what point will people find my picture when they google "poop"...? I'm dangerously close to that aren't i? If i had a third kid...my name actually may become another word for poop wouldn't it?