Friday, March 23, 2012

Fairy Tales Go Hi-Tech

I've gotten hooked on the TV series Once Upon a Time, which follows the adventures of fairy tale characters who have been cursed and are living unhappily ever after in the small town of Storybrooke, Maine. The episodes tie together the lives and adventures of the individual characters (Snow White, Prince Charming, Rumplestiltskin, the Evil Queen, Jiminy Cricket, and many more) in the fairy tale and the "real" worlds, and are really fascinating.

Which leads one to wonder how we might update our classic fairy tales and children's stories for the more technologically savvy children of the 21st century ...

Little Bo Peep never loses sheep because of their embedded silicon tracking chips.

Cinderella searches for her prince on Match.com - and leases her pumpkin-colored SUV at Avis.com.

Hansel and Gretel use GPS rather than bread crumbs, but had a difficult time stuffing the wicked witch into her microwave oven.

To avoid travel stress, Alice now plans her Wonderland vacation with travelocity.com.

A reformed Ebenezer Scrooge sends Bob Cratchett to update his certification for Excel and Quicken, and has encouraged him to get his MBA.

Jack's breakthrough discovery in the bioengineering of bean stalks made him a fortune when he sold it to ConAgra.

Old McDonald uses voice recognition to make ordering easy at his agricultural auction site http://www.eieio.com.

Romeo and Juliet avoid tragic problems by keeping in touch through their smart phones.

With her early Web capabilities, Charlotte is now a motivational speaker at tech conferences around the world.

The Pied Piper switched career fields after his tunes were bootlegged on Napster.

Little Red Riding Hood doesn't worry about big, bad wolves after getting the concealed carry permit for her .357 Glock 31.

King Arthur has replaced his expensive round table with a satellite video conferencing suite.

The Mad Hatter has chilled out considerably since his psychiatrist put him on Prozac.

Gulliver is on sabbatical using up all his frequent flyer miles.

The Queen of Hearts no longer makes her own tarts since she discovered Pillsbury Tarts-in-a-Can (15 minutes in a 250 degree oven).

Jack and Jill order their Evian on peapod.com.

The Evil Queen has replaced her outdated, hard-to-maintain magic mirror with a broadband Skype connection.

And finally,

The Princess sleeps much better since she replaced her pea-infested bedding with the new Sleep Number mattress.

Any other updates you can think of? Leave me a comment.

Have a good day. Tomorrow will be my 2,000th post, and it's Cartoon Saturday ... be here for the festivities.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo


6 comments:

John said...

Tarts in a Can...

Why do I get an image of the few remaining bar flies in the ladies room at 3am checking their lipstick and make-up in hopes for a last minute pick-up?

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Puss in Reeboks or Guccis.

Amanda said...

The queen could probably Google up 'little man spins straw into gold' for Rumplestiltskin's name.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

you're so clever.
I'm not worthy.
:-)

allenwoodhaven said...

The 3 little pigs have the wolf arrested for bullying and he has to do community service with Habitat for Humanity.

I look forward to number 2000; may there be many more!!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

The Wicked Witch goes into Anger Management Counseling.

The farmer goes out of the dell, out of the closet, and takes a gay lover.

The ugly duckling discovers his beautiful inner duckiness