Yesterday's post shared with you some of the results of The Great Male Survey of 2012, as reported by online magazine AskMen.com. The survey wanted to know, among other things, "what makes a 'Real Man' in 2012," coming up with such suggestions as:
“Being a great father and husband who looks after his family” (57%);
“Being a great leader and motivator” (22%);
“Having manly skills, like the ability to fix things” (6%);
“Being charismatic and popular,” (5%);
“Being wealthy” (3%); and,
“Being a great seducer and lover” (1%)*.
To this list, I might add another:
"Flushing the %#&@! toilet."
One of the amazing inventions of recent times has been the Amazing Automatically Flushing Toilet**, which has been installed in many public rest rooms. It uses a sensor to detect the departure of one's backside from the seat, automatically triggering a flush which - voila! - removes the offending political statements.
The problem arises when the Amazing Automatically Flushing Toilet doesn't automatically flush ... and the clueless dumbass*** who has just voted wanders off without pushing the emergency flush button****, leaving an unpleasant surprise for the next visitor.
So, here's a message to Real Men everywhere: make sure the toilet flushes when you are done. We don't need to hear your intimate cell phone call with your girlfriend from the next stall, and we certainly don't need to see how well your colon operates.
Have a good day. Flush. Twice, if necessary. More thoughts tomorrow.
* You knew some clown had to put that one in.
** It is, sadly, not true that Thomas Crapper invented the flush toilet. Read all about it here.
*** He was probably distracted by his cell phone conversation ... we all know that public rest room stalls provide privacy and security for your most sensitive and personal discussions.
**** Yes, there is one!