Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Because our relationship with our police departments is ... well ... strained at the moment, I thought I might mine my collection of excerpts from news articles and police blotters that give us a little more of a light-hearted look at those who - ideally - protect and serve.

Be careful about accidentally calling 911 ...

It would be nice if police shot more elk than people, wouldn't it? ...

I wonder how the penal code defines the offense of "[becoming] hoity-toity" ...

A useful description of the perp ...

Good advice ...

Guns don't kill people, people kill people ... with soup? ...

Those investigators are pretty sharp ...

The horror!! ...

I'm glad they knew to search even the unlikely hiding places ...

Well, yes, I'd think he was suspicious ...

You have the right to remain silent, unless you want to laugh.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

In the hopes that winter has breathed its last, we can turn to Robert Frost's prayer for the blessings of spring ...

A Prayer in Spring

by Robert Frost

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;

And give us not to think so far away

As the uncertain harvest; keep us here

All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,

Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;

And make us happy in the happy bees,

The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird

That suddenly above the bees is heard,

The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,

And off a blossom in mid air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,

The which it is reserved for God above

To sanctify to what far ends He will,

But which it only needs that we fulfill.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend ... with any luck, outdoors and without undue clouds of pollen. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Another week, another collection of news items and cartoons to take your mind off them ...

The tiny "Ingenuity" helicopter made the second of its two flights to date on Mars - the first powered flight on another world; in India, the healthcare system is collapsing as a record surge in Covid-19 cases fills hospital beds and drains oxygen supplies; former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin was convicted on all counts in his trial for the murder of George Floyd; at the virtual climate summit hosted by President Biden, world leaders agreed - if grudgingly - to cooperate in reducing dangerous emissions; and in Florida, two police motorcycle officers are facing charges that they issued dozens of tickets to drivers they never pulled over - egregious behavior, but at least they didn't kill anyone.

This week, in honor of the British royal family after the loss of Prince Philip, we have a selection of cartoons featuring kings, queens, and royalty in general ...

Getting off mailing lists is an older problem than we thought - only the technology is different ...  

Getting off the jester's list ...

Science denial has been around a long time ...

You're busted, Arthur ...

How to avoid killing the messenger ...

I imagine it was far less bloody than the newer version ...

Putting the best spin on the demonstration ...

So that's where the parliamentarian position came from ...

Game of thrones, of a sort ...

Given some of the laws states are quickly passing to regulate demonstrations, this one is probably more accurate than we'd like ...

I hope you have enjoyed this royally wacky collection of cartoons, and that they've helped you mentally navigate the stormy seas of today's world.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2021

Well, friends, here we are again ... two weeks have gone by and it's time to present another Ass Clown Award. As always, the competition is fierce, but I have a responsibility to choose, and so I have.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the award for 

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2021   

is presented to

Sean Hannity

It's hard to believe, but today's dishonoree is being recognized for the first time, in spite of his strong record of worthiness. Sean Hannity is, as you know, one of the stable of angry shouting heads* employed as opinion commentators and faux newspersons by Fox News. Already known for his lavish praise and sycophantic support of Der Furor, Mr Hannity outdid himself this past week when he conducted a fawning softball interview with the former president, which featured these deeply penetrating "questions:"

"You were working as hard as you did when you were in the White House, except you play a little golf more, that you're keeping an insane schedule, seven days a week. You really don't stop."

and:

"You get impeached for doing nothing wrong. Then you get a second impeachment for doing nothing wrong."

Most professional journalists with standards would be embarrassed by such a performance, but for Hannity and his compatriots at Fox, it's all part of the network's effort to maximize posterior osculation with Der Furor and his enablers.

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2021, is Sean Hannity - a laughable excuse for responsible journalism.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday when, in honor of the British royal family in its time of trial, we'll have a collection of cartoons featuring monarchs of the non-Danaus Plexippus type. See you then.

Bilbo

* Others include Tucker Carlson (Left-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2019 and Right-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2021), Laura Ingraham, Maria Bartiromo, Jeanine Pirro, and the crew of "Fox and Friends," Steve Doocy, Ainsley Earnhardt, and Brian Kilmeade). 

Musical Sunday

Earlier this week we celebrated the birthday of English TV producer Gerry Anderson, whose credits include the science fiction series "Fireball XL5," one of my favorites while I was growing up. It looks hokey now, with its characters given life by the then-amazing technology of "supermarionation," but to a guy who dreamed of being an astronaut all those years ago, it was beyond exciting. One of the best things about the show was its clever and catchy theme song, which we revisit today on Musical Sunday ...

   

I think the last verse is my favorite - 

But no, I'm not a space man,

Famous and renowned.

I'm just a guy who's down to earth,

With both feet on the ground.

Its all imagination —

I'll never reach the stars.

But my heart is still a fireball, a fireball,

And you could be my Venus of the stars

I found my Venus, and married her, and she helps me keep both feet on the ground. You should be so lucky.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Is this year over yet?

At least eight people were murdered in a FedEx facility in Indianapolis on Thursday in the nation's latest mass murder by gunfire - the 45th in the last month; scientists at Purdue University have developed an "ultra-white" paint significantly whiter than the whitest paint currently available (it has been adopted as the official color of the "America First Caucus" formed by Trump drones in Congress); the Biden Administration has expelled 10 Russian diplomats and imposed sweeping new sanctions on Russia in response to that country's interference in the 2016 and 2020 elections and cyberattacks on US infrastructure; a 13-year-old boy in Chicago was shot and killed by a police officer after raising his hands in surrender; and in Arkansas, a man stole a Little Rock police vehicle moments after being released from the Pulaski County jail ... the car was tracked to a local apartment complex, where 33-year-old Cordell Coleman was re-arrested.

For the last two weeks, I offered collections of random cartoons ... this week, we're back to themed collections, starting with the dynamic duo of Moby Dick* and Captain Ahab ...

It's always a good idea to rethink your life goals occasionally ...

Um ... no ...

Good guess, garçon ...

Now, that's a bad sign ...

The great white chicken is a seriously-underestimated threat ...

Call me Ishmael. Or not ...

Where whales go to hide ...

Even whales need therapy now and then ... 

Without sonar, they must have just followed the cord ...

Where else would he look? ... 

I thought this was a whale of a good collection, and I hope you enjoyed it. Come back tomorrow for a futuristic version of Musical Sunday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Please, no jokes about "moby dick" being an STD. It's been done before.

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

And away we go ...

Sometimes, your confessor just needs to know the basics ...

I've heard they're a real blast ...

Buy those Thin Mints or else ...

If you need to bring your own goat to the yoga class, you need this convenient accessory ...

I'm sure this would make disembarking passengers more more quickly ...

Good advice ...

I wonder if it's covered by their medical insurance ...

Pace yourself, Hannibal ...

Somehow, I do not find this at all surprising ...

The editor who decided on this layout is probably now flipping burgers at the nearest food court ...

And there you go ... another collection of editorial and signage whoppers to take your mind off mass murders, Russian meddling, and the latest asinine antics of congressional Republicans. I hope it helps.

Don't forget to remember how the valet looks, and to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday for a whale of a time. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

This is an interesting poem whose idea has been the basis for a great many eerie stories over the years ...

What if you slept... 

by Samuel Taylor Coleridge 

What if you slept

And what if

In your sleep

You dreamed

And what if

In your dream

You went to heaven

And there plucked a strange and beautiful flower

And what if

When you awoke

You had that flower in your hand

Ah, what then?

What, indeed?

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

The beatings will continue until morale improves ...

Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh and husband of Britain's Queen Elizabeth II, died on Friday at age 99; in the nation's latest mass shooting, a Texas man murdered one person and injured five others at his workplace; in response to a rash of mass murders, President Biden issued a series of executive orders trying to plug holes in the nation's gun laws; in Arizona, Governor Greg Ducey signed a bill to preemptively protect the state's gun owners from any future federal gun control laws; and the University of Kentucky emailed acceptance letters to 500,000 high school seniors, congratulating them on their admission to a program that usually accepts 35 to 40 students a year ... the university has apologized for the "technical error."

Yep, it's another week of random cartoons; I couldn't decide on a theme for the week, so here we are ...

You'd think the x-ray vision would have made this unnecessary, but ...  

Best visual pun I've seen in a long time ...

They either play hard rock for typesetters or heavy, but unbalanced metal ...

They've been a nuisance longer than you think ...

I'm not sure it would work, but it's a novel approach ...

Literally, yes ...

There's a holy in a pipey ...

Time to rearrange the bookstores ...

High-tech surgery ...

Where the elevator music comes from ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns. See you then.

Bilbo