Bilbo's Random Thought Collection: April 2022

Saturday, April 30, 2022

Cartoon Saturday

Let's help this month out the door with a swift kick in the butt, shall we? ...

Italy's Constitutional Court has ruled that the paternal practice of a child automatically and involuntarily inheriting the father's surname at birth was not only unconstitutional but "discriminatory and harmful" to a child's identity, and that children should instead inherit both of their parents' last names; a powerful tornado ripped through Kansas on Friday, destroying dozens of homes in the city of Andover but, miraculously, causing relatively few injuries and no reported deaths; Russian forces showered the Ukrainian city of Kiev with missiles during a visit by the UN Secretary General; billionaire Elon Musk has sold 4.4 million shares of Tesla stock worth roughly $4 billion, probably to help fund his purchase of Twitter; and in a south Alabama town, police are searching for a female suspect they say made her getaway on a stolen riding lawnmower while towing a trailer she had also allegedly stolen.

This week, a collection of cartoons about aliens, just to piss off Greg Abbott ...

Uh, oh ...

A lot of people without so many brains are saying it all ...

Do aliens worry about CAPCHAs, too? ...

Sad, but true ...

Good plan ...

I have to agree ...

I somehow thought this was the master plan ...

Timing is everything ...

Next neighborhood over ...

It looks like they won't be back for a long, long time ...

And that closes the door on Cartoon Saturday for the month of April, 2022 ... good riddance.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo

Friday, April 29, 2022

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Here we go with the last collection of editorial and signage gems for the month of April, 2022 ...

Somehow, nobody ever asked me to help out after the prom ...

When high-temperature cooking gets out of hand ...

I understand the mistake ...

He must have been under a court-imposed muzzle order ...

The layout editor needs some remedial training ...

Well, why not? ...

As well they should ...

I think Cirrus Aircraft was behind this study ...

Food rage can be terrifying ...

Republicans gearing up for the latest culture war outrage have been waiting for this one ...

And that wraps up April's round of Great Moments in Editing and Signage ... I hope it helped you cope with things like Ron DeSantis, Greg Abbott, and Der Furor and his family.

Have a good day and enjoy the coming weekend, which begins tomorrow with the last Cartoon Saturday of the month. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Musical Sunday

Some songs never cease to be topical. We've featured this Leonard Cohen classic before, but it just seems right once again ...

Yes, everybody knows. The problem is, everybody doesn't care enough to fix it.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, April 23, 2022

I'm afraid to ask if things can get worse ...

Superheated conspiracy theorist Alex Jones's "Infowars" has filed for bankruptcy after Jones was found liable for damages in a trio of lawsuits over his false claims that the 2012 Sandy Hook school massacre was a hoax; having suffered defeats and embarrassment in its initial assault on Ukraine, Russia has changed its strategy and now admits it wants to conquer the (formerly, at least) pro-Russian eastern regions and the valuable Black Sea coastline joining Russian-controlled areas to Russian-annexed Crimea; ludicrous GOP firebrand representative Marjorie Taylor Greene "testified" under oath before a Georgia court for three hours yesterday at a hearing seeking to prevent her from running for office again ... rather than face charges of perjury when her responses to questions could easily be proven with solid evidence to be lies, she repeatedly replied with "I don't know" or "I don't remember" to avoid perjuring herself; the administration of Florida governor Ron DeSantis has disapproved the use in the state of 54 mathematics textbooks which, he claims, promote "critical race theory" and other "prohibited topics;" and in Las Vegas, police said that a distinctive tattoo of rosary beads with a cross led them to a suspect in a shooting and kidnapping ... named Jesus.

This week, we go back to the no-theme theme, because why not? ...

I think this is the only presidential debate format the GOP is likely to accept in the future, but only if they are allowed to fling unlimited rotten fruit and be bombarded only with marshmallows ...

From the department of clever puns ...

I guess I'll have to change my favorite cake from pineapple upside-down to something cheaper ...

I think it would certainly work ...

Yes, it's me ...

Uh ... I think I'll pass ...

The dog's getting used to modern technology ...

How "The Wizard of Oz" should have ended ...

Couldn't pass up another great pun ...

Betcha didn't see that one coming ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns with an ever-timely oldie from the late Leonard Cohen.

Bilbo

Friday, April 22, 2022

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award for April, 2022

April grinds on and grinds us with it, and it's now time to recognize the second of our Ass Clown awardees for the month. As ever, it's been ridiculously difficult to come up with a single cringeworthy Ass Clown to represent the horde, but after much thought and head-shaking observation I've managed to single out this period's winner.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets we designate

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2022

and the award goes to

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis

Governor DeSantis, in his attempts to out-furor Der Furor and cement his extreme right-wing credentials for a presidential run in 2024, has gone to amazing lengths to prove that he is a staunch defender of what he perceives to be American values. In his most recent foray into the GOP-stoked culture wars, he decided that 54 mathematics textbooks - a full 41% of 132 submitted to the Florida Department of Education - needed to be removed from consideration for use because "they incorporate prohibited topics or unsolicited strategies, including CRT (critical race theory)."

A normal person might wonder what race has to do with mathematics, but apparently the fevered mind of Mr DeSantis ... always searching for the next horrific outrage from the left to stir up his followers ... has decided that odd numbers are odd because they may embrace racial or socialist thought, and imaginary numbers are imaginary because they may lead to impure or otherwise prohibited thoughts.

"You have orthodoxies that are promoted, and other viewpoints are shunned or even suppressed," Mr DeSantis was quoted as saying, going on to state, "We don't want that in Florida."

And I would submit that many of us don't want Mr DeSantis in Florida - or anywhere else - either.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is named as our Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2022. Long may he stay in Florida, where many of the people are crazy from the heat and humidity, anyhow.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Poetry Sunday

This is how it works at my house, and probably at the houses of anyone of my generation ...

Basement

by Louis Jenkins

There's something about our basement that causes forgetting. I go down for something, say a roll of
paper towels, which we keep in a big box down there,
and as soon as I get to the bottom of the stairs I have forgotten what I came

down there for. It happens to
my wife as well. So recently we have taken to working
in tandem like spelunkers. One of us stands at the
top of the stairs while the other descends. When the descendant has reached the

bottom stair, the person
at the top calls out, "Light bulbs, 60 watt." This
usually works unless the one in the basement lingers
too long. I blame this memory loss on all the stuff in
the basement. Too much baggage: 10 shades of blue
paint, because we could not get the right color, extra dishes, bicycles, the

washer and dryer, a cider press, a piano, jars of screws, nails and bolts.... It

boggles the mind. My wife blames it on radon.

Actually, my mind has been boggled for a long time, and the basement has nothing to do with it.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. And Happy Easter, if it's a holiday you observe. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, April 16, 2022

Cartoon Saturday

Geez, what a week it's been ...

Not surprisingly, Russia and Ukraine issued conflicting explanations for the sinking of the Russian Black Sea Fleet flagship Moskva; police in New York City have arrested a suspect in the mass shooting on a subway train that injured 23 people, ten of them by gunfire; in a move sure to help control inflation, Amazon has announced it will apply a 5% fuel and inflation surcharge on purchases; in Grand Rapids, Michigan, a black man was shot in the back of the head by a police officer following a traffic stop, foot chase, and struggle; and in Florida (where else?), authorities in Key West have issued new guidelines for the Key West Fantasy Festival which remove the "fantasy" part and should pacify the state's bizarre governor.

This week, because I'm feeling unusually old, here are some cartoons about us old fogies ...

I send a lot of texts like this, but they're almost never answered ...