Bilbo's New Fee Schedule

Last Wednesday, President Biden announced a crackdown by the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau on so-called "junk fees" - the hidden taxes, fees, charges, assessments, levies, and surcharges that run up the final cost of goods and services which had been advertised at much lower prices.

 

I've been irritated about these fees for a long time, most recently last week when our monthly bill from Verizon for telephone, internet, and television service arrived. In addition to the cost of the standard "bundle" of services and enhancements, it includes this list of "other charges;" the first four are described as "Taxes, Governmental Fees, and Surcharges;" the remainder are "Verizon Surcharges and Fees:"

Virginia Communications Sales Tax;

Virginia State Sales Tax;

E-911 Tax;

Virginia Public Rights-of-Way Use Fee;

PEG Grant Fee;

Local License Tax Surcharge;

Virginia Gross Receipts Tax Surcharge;

Federal Universal Service Fee;

Regulatory Recovery Fee - Federal;

FIOS TV Broadcast Fee; and,

FDV Administrative Charge

Added together, they account for approximately 14% of the total bill. I have no idea what most of those charges are for and under what authority they are levied other than "because we can."

Consider also our two-night hotel stay in Jersey City last month. The advertised rate for the room was already quite steep, but on top of that came these additional charges*, which amounted to approximately 16% of the total bill:

State Tax;

Occupancy Tax;

City Tax; and,

"Tax Meadowlands Regional Hotel Use Assessment" (whatever the hell that is)

And don't even get me started on the cascade of "service charges," "convenience charges**," and other such fiscal bloodsuckers that hit us at every turn.

Basically, hidden fees and charges allow businesses to maximize their profits by passing on as many of their costs as possible to unsuspecting customers, who only learn about them when it's too late.

Since it's obviously okay to do so, I have decided to start applying my own fees and surcharges, because why not. My initial fee list includes ...

Self-Checkout Effort Recovery Fee (SCERF) - 5% of the total bill charged to the store each time I use the self-checkout. If I'm doing the store's work for them, why shouldn't I get paid for it?

Wasted Appointment Time Recovery Assessment (WATRA) - a fee charged for time spent waiting to be seen after the starting time of an appointment. Calculated as 5% of the appointment fee for each 5 minutes past the scheduled appointment time.

Stupidity Exposure Mitigation Surcharge (SEMS) - a one-time charge of $250 per annoying robocall or home visit, intended to help cover the cost of aspirin and blood pressure medication. Note: this fee may be applied in addition to other types of fees and surcharges.

General Annoyance Mitigation Surcharge (GAMS) - a one-time charge of $100 to partially compensate me for the waste of my valuable time. Note: this fee may be applied in addition to other types of fees and surcharges.

Concentration Interruption Fee (CIF) - a flat fee of $10 for each unsolicited telephone call or visit by a door-to-door solicitor which interrupts what I am doing. This is distantly related to the "billable hour" charged by an attorney, which may only actually involve a few minutes of work, but is justified by the fact that it interrupts the flow of his or her attention and will require the rest of the hour to get back on track. Note: this fee may be applied in addition to other types of fees and surcharges.

Bullshit Filtration Surcharge (BFS) - a flat fee of $50 for every political advertisement which airs during a television show or online presentation for which I am paying (through cable or other access fees). Considering the obscene amount of money spent on political campaigns, they can afford it.

Note 1: this surcharge is applied to each individual advertisement ... that is, if two political ads air back-to-back, each is subject to the BFS. 

Note 2: the BFS is applied in addition to the SEMS, GAMS, and CIF (see above), and applies to each individual advertisement.

Religious Proselytization Fee (RPF) - a flat fee of $50 in compensation for the annoyance of having to get rid of door-to-door religious missionaries. The CIF also applies, as do the following additional charges, as appropriate:

Eternal Damnation Invocation Surcharge (EDIS) - an additional charge of $100 applies if the proselytizer tells me that I will burn in hell if I don't allow myself to be "saved." 

Religious Contribution Solicitation Tax (RCST) - an additional charge of $100 applies if the proselytizer solicits cash donations. The charge is increased to $1000 if the proselytizer represents a megachurch whose leader lives in a mansion and has his/her own television station and private jet. 

Alternative Worship System Denial Fee (AWSDF) - an additional charge of $50 applies if the proselytizer insists on the sole dominance of his/her own faith and demeans or denies the worthiness of any other worship system. 

Political Party Representative Annoyance Compensation Fee (PPRACF) - a flat fee of $100 charged to any representative of a candidate for office, in addition to the CIF, SEMS, and GAMS. If the candidate himself or herself appears, the fee can be reduced to $50 at my discretion as an incentive for being willing to meet with the common folk. The BFS may also be added if the individual invokes debunked conspiracy theories, proven falsehoods, election denial, or Der Furor by name. The following subsidiary charges may also apply:

Election Denial Tax (EDT) - a fee of $500 for refusal to accept the validity of the 2020 presidential election. 

Conspiracy Theory Embrace Fee (CTEF) - a charge of $500 for each invocation of Q-Anon or any conspiracy theory as a substitute for fact-based argument. 

Der Furor Annoyance Abatement Fee (DFAAF) - a charge of $250 for each mention of Der Furor's name, regardless of context. 

Opponent Castigation Surcharge (OCS) - a charge of $100 for the first instance of blaming the candidate's opponent for something without offering a plan to address the issue. The fee increases to $200 for each subsequent instance.

Political Contribution Solicitation Tax (PCST) - similar to the RCST applied above under the Religious Proselytization Fee. A charge of $1,000 is applied for the gall of requesting campaign contributions from ordinary citizens who are having their own troubles making ends meet. 

Inappropriate Millinery Choice Assessment (IMCA) - a charge of $100 for showing up at my door wearing a stupid red MAGA hat.

All fees are payable on the spot either in cash, by certified check, or direct bank-to-bank transfer. No personal checks, IOUs, foreign currency, or cryptocurrency accepted. No refunds. An additional charge of $15 is also assessed for each request for further explanation of any of the aforementioned charges.

Have a good day, but have it somewhere else if you're not willing to pay the appropriate charges.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Fees and surcharges layered on top of hotel room rates are one of the most popular sources of government revenue, because they hit citizens who generally live and vote in a different city or state, and are thus less likely to be a political threat or vote against those who imposed the fees.

** "Convenience charge" is one of the most despicable descriptive terms ever coined by a revenue vampire.

Poetry Sunday

Today is Poetry Sunday, tomorrow is Halloween, and what could be eerier for the day than this timeless classic poem from master of horror Edgar Allan Poe? This is a poem that begs to be read aloud, and it's one of my favorites to recite. Turn the lights low, sit back, and sleep well ... nevermore.

The Raven

by Edgar Allan Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door -

Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore -

Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,

"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -

This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you" - here I opened wide the door; -

Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" -

Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:

Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -

'Tis the wind and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.

"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,

Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore -

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door -

Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -

Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before -

On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."

Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster

Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -

Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore

Of 'Never - nevermore'."

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;

Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore

Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

 

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,

But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.

"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he hath sent thee

Respite - respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore!

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -

Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -

On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -

Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil - prophet still, if bird or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore -

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting -

"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,

And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. At least you don't have a raven squawking from that bust above your chamber door*.

Happy Halloween! More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Suppose you actually had a bust above your chamber door. Whose bust would it be?

Cartoon Saturday

Boy, am I glad this month is almost over ...

Former Chancellor Rishi Sunak was sworn in as Britain's third Prime Minister in seven weeks; Elon Musk finally consummated his purchase of Twitter and celebrated by firing most of the senior staff; the husband of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was attacked and severely beaten during a break-in at the couple's San Francisco home; monuments in four Polish cities commemorating the Soviet army's liberation of Poland after World War Two have been demolished in accordance with a law prohibiting the promotion of totalitarianism; and police in Pakistan have arrested six donkeys for aiding in the theft of timber by Pakistani criminal gangs.

Today is the last Saturday of October, and our final Cartoon Saturday salute to Halloween for 2022. For this last collection, let's look at witches for a spell*, eh? ...

It's hard for a young witch to find a starter house nowadays ...

Grant money is tight, for sure ...

Socially responsible potion-making ...

When casting spells, the right wand is important ...

She also wanted to know if the Girl Scout Cookies were made with real Girl Scouts ...

Everybody's gotta start someplace ...

Slightly guilty ...

The problems of being a gingerbread homeowner ...

Delivering an appropriate and accurate eulogy ...

Given the skyrocketing price of appliances nowadays, you've got to be sure your purchase has the right features ...

And that wraps up the final Cartoon salute to Halloween for this year ... I hope all you witches, warlocks, zombies, ghosts, vampires, mummies, and other creatures of the night enjoyed it.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday, when we feature my all-time favorite eerie Halloween poem. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Sorry.

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Last collection for October ... get 'em while they're hot! ...

I think that the economic advisory staff of the RNC has a side gig ...

I know this is good news, but somehow I think there's a really depressed young lady out there somewhere ...

I wish I'd thought of this ...

I don't recommend ordering the evil water if you're eating out to celebrate a baptism ...

Well, yes, I can see that this would cut down on the whining ...

I wonder what the sentence is for ordering this sub ...

I think I'd rather be remembered for something else ...

Geez, people are getting spun up about all sorts of things nowadays ...

Substitutions authorized? ...

I wonder if there's a discount for the shorter program ...

And there it is, Dear Readers - your last collection of great moments in editing and signage for October. I hope that I've given you something to laugh about other than the performances of many of those running for office.

Have a good day, and be sure to come back tomorrow for this year's last Cartoon Saturday salute to Halloween, this time featuring witches other than those apparently representing Georgia's 14th or Colorado's 3rd districts in the House of Representatives. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Economics for Dummies, The Election Edition

Earlier this month I wrote a post (Economics for Dummies) about the insanity of our current economic system. My main point was that most of the economic pain we are feeling at the moment has its roots in our embrace of a capitalist market economy in which short-term profits and shareholder return are more important than the affordability of goods and services to the consumer. Well, wouldn't you know that the related topics of economics and dummies have bubbled up in my fevered brain once again as they relate to yet another hot topic ... elections.

According to an analysis published last month by OpenSecrets.org, an independent and nonpartisan group which tracks money in political campaigns, spending on the 2022 midterm elections by all parties is likely to exceed 9.3 billion dollars. Yes, that's billion, with a "b." An NPR report on October 22nd indicated that "dark money" groups - which are not legally required to disclose their donors or sources of funding - have pumped nearly a billion dollars into GOP senate campaigns alone. 

Of course, dark money flows to the coffers of both parties, and the lack of transparency in the source and spending of these types of contributions makes it notoriously difficult to determine who - if anyone - benefits more in any given race.

Here's my outraged fulmination: the amount of money spent on American political campaigns is obscene.

Supreme Court decisions like Citizens United allowed vast amounts of unrestricted cash to pour into political campaigns, equating cash contributions with free speech protected under the First Amendment to the Constitution. You can buy a lot more free speech with 9.3 billion dollars than you can with the theoretical maximum allowed to the average middle-class American citizen wage earner. This is the chart published by the Federal Election Commission showing political contribution limits for 2021-2022:

You can read the entire discussion on allowable campaign contributions at the FEC website here. Where I come from, this is called a joke.

But let's leave aside the complete lack of limits and transparency on political contributions by organizations and look at another source of vast expenditures on elections: lawsuits.

Winning ... accumulating power for personal and political advantage ... is so important that enormous amounts are spent by individual office-seekers, political parties, and advocacy groups on lawsuits contesting electoral outcomes with which they disagree.

According to an investigative report by the Washington Post published in February, 2021, spending resulting from election-related lawsuits filed by Der Furor and his enablers has cost US Taxpayers at least $519 million dollars.

Can you imagine, Dear Readers, what could have been done with the 9.3 billion dollars spent on the 2022 midterm elections, and the hundreds of millions of dollars spent on frivolous lawsuits based on nothing?

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines obscene in part as, "repulsive by reason of crass disregard of moral or ethical principles; so excessive as to be offensive."

The money spent on winning elections at all costs, including lawsuits seeking to overturn elections that don't turn out as the loser wanted, is the very definition of obscene. Consider just a few of the moral implications:

How many schools could have have built, repaired, or resupplied, how many new teachers could have been hired, and how many current teachers could have received a pay raise?

How many hospitals could have been built, equipped, and staffed in underserved areas?

How many expensive medications could have been provided to the sick?

How many Americans could have been provided with affordable health care?

How many crumbling roads and bridges could have been repaired?

How many contaminated sources of drinking water could have been purified?

How about a just few of the ethical implications?

How many laws serve the interests of big business and the wealthy because they were written by lobbyists and passed by the votes of politicians beholden to big-spending donors?

How many visits to the public trough by big business and the wealthy been facilitated by office-holders to whom the receipt of campaign funds is more important than the public interest?

How many elected officials have done the bidding of wealthy donors in order to secure lucrative sinecures after they leave office?

Ladies and gentlemen, Dear Readers, the word of the day is obscene. Remember it when you go to the polls, and when you evaluate the performance of those to whom you have given your vote ... you deserve to know who they're actually working for.

Have a good day. Expect better, but don't count on it.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

We continue this year's salute to the Halloween season with a 1959 novelty song by The Diamonds that I'll bet you've never heard before ...

I wouldn't have thought this was a chick flick, but hey - what do I know? Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend, hiding under the covers if you need to. More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Oh, for Pete's sake* ...

Unable to prevail on the battlefield, Russia has turned to a concerted effort to wreck essential public services in Ukraine with barrages of rockets and Iranian kamikaze drones; after a mere six weeks in office and an administration widely seen as inept, UK Prime Minister Liz Truss has announced her resignation; the 11th circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that Senator Lindsey Graham must testify before a special grand jury investigating whether former President Donald Trump and others illegally tried to influence the 2020 election in Georgia; in preparation for his takeover of Twitter, Elon Musk has announced plans to cut almost 75% of the social media giant's staff; and the Department of Justice filed a lawsuit against two Rapid City hotel managers who tried to ban Native Americans from their properties in violation of the Civil Rights Act, and then documented their discrimination in e-mails introduced as evidence.

Cartoon Saturday's annual salute to the Halloween season continues this week ... over the past three weeks we've featured cartoons about mummies, Frankenstein, and vampires. Today, the sheet hits the fan as we look and laugh at ghosts.

I think it's appropriate attire, don't you? ...

Ghosts and puns - a winning combination! ...

This will be me in a few (hopefully, more than a few) years ...

It would be, wouldn't it? ...

With your medical insurance, there's always a hitch ...

I thought that job had already gone to the GOP ...

Pun alert! ...

Nothing worse than an uptight ghost ...

Pun alert #2! ...

Even ghosts can get busted, I guess ...

We now return to our regularly scheduled frights, otherwise known as the daily news.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow for our second Halloween-themed Musical Sunday ... BWA, HA, HAAAAAA!!

More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

* Who the hell is Pete, anyhow, and why do we do things for his sake? Discuss.

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2022

Yes, Dear Readers, it's time once again to employ the Great Sifter to separate the chaff from the chaff and identify yet another ass clown for appropriate ridicule. This being an election year, the task is made much more difficult by the sheer number of clownish buffoons running for office, especially on the right, and yet those worthies are being challenged by a surging wave of ass clowns in other areas of endeavor. After much research and consideration, I had decided on this period's recipient for the award, but at the last minute I decided to go in a different direction. Don't worry, John Durham, you're still in contention, but you were edged out in the competition for

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2022

in favor of a group award to

Retired Senior Military Officers

Working for Foreign Governments

An exhaustively-researched series of investigative articles published this week by The Washington Post revealed that hundreds of retired senior military officers (generals, admirals, colonels, and Navy captains) have accepted lucrative jobs advising or training foreign military forces and governments, many of which have policies antithetical to US interests or forces against which Americans might someday need to fight.

Fifteen retired generals and admirals have taken jobs with the repressive government of Saudi Arabia, which - it might be also noted - recently stiffed the United States by agreeing to raise the price of oil. Saudi Arabia was also, it should also be noted, widely condemned for the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, apparently ordered by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Sultan.

Beyond the Middle East, it was reported that retired Navy admirals had been contracted by the government of Australia to advise on its nuclear submarine program (while at the same time serving as consultants to the US Navy); one retired admiral was hired by the government of Australia to serve as its deputy secretary of defense and to oversee its submarine program. 

It was, of course, widely known that retired general and former National Security Advisor to Der Furor Michael Flynn had accepted payments from the government of Russia for speeches to Russian audiences and business concerns, evidently in an attempt to curry favor with someone likely to be part of a conservative Republican administration. 

 

Sadly, the tradition of military officers cashing in on their expertise to help potentially hostile governments is not limited to the United States. According to reports in the British press, as many as 30 former Royal Air Force pilots have been hired under lucrative contracts to train pilots of the Chinese People's Liberation Army Air Force.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, this period's Ass Clown Award goes to those high-ranking US military officers who have cashed in on their service to advise foreign governments and militaries. While legal (when properly reported, reviewed, and approved, in many cases with a simple rubber stamp), it is unseemly and, at worst, could reflect a profound threat to our security.

Have a good day, and make sure you are registered and have a plan to vote on November 8th. The stakes are high.

Be sure to come back tomorrow for the next installment of our Cartoon Saturday salute to Halloween, this week featuring ghosts. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Cognitive Dissonance of Freedom

I've often noted in this space that as I was taught in school - back when they taught such things - there's a difference between freedom (the state of being able to act without hindrance or restraint; liberty of
action) and license (freedom that allows or is used with irresponsibility; disregard for standards of personal conduct). It seems to me that what used to be the Republican party no longer understands this distinction.

American conservatives, led by a Republican party which has been hopelessly twisted and corrupted by Der Furor and his enablers*, loudly proclaim that they are the party of freedom, and that their freedom is being infringed by dastardly liberals who are nothing more than wild-eyed socialists bent on destroying the nation. But consider where the limitations on freedom are actually coming from.

It is true that most "liberals" support some degree of infringement of the right to "keep and bear arms" guaranteed by the Second Amendment. The reason for this is obvious given the tremendous level of gun  violence in present-day America, fueled in large part by the staggering number of military-grade weapons in private hands and court decisions which reject limits on the ownership and carrying of firearms. The freedom to "keep and bear arms" has morphed into the license to pack iron of any type, at any time, in any place, for any reason (or no reason), regardless of the demonstrated threat to public health and safety. 

Deeply conservative and ostentatiously religious Americans insist on removing books to which they object from school and public libraries. Should the freedom of American citizens to read the books they choose be limited by the license of a conservative morality police who are offended by certain ideas, behaviors, or lifestyles? In the fevered world of the GOP, it's not an issue ... the freedom to avoid exposure to unpleasant or unwanted ideas gives them license to limit the freedom of others to undertake discussion of difficult or controversial topics, or to live as they choose.

Many conservative parents insist on their freedom to manage what their children learn in school by exercising the license to browbeat local school boards into teaching only what they believe should be taught, imagining anything else to be the hated indoctrination of their children with ideas they do not support. 

The Supreme Court's Griswold v Connecticut decision in 1965, which legalized contraception, and its Roe v Wade decision in 1973 which legalized abortion, gave American women the freedom to manage their reproductive health and the size of their families. This year's decision in Planned Parenthood v Casey gave religious conservatives license to take those freedoms away.

Childhood diseases long since vanquished by advancements in vaccination, like measles and pertussis (whooping cough), are reappearing because some parents insist on the freedom to not vaccinate their children ... giving them license to let their children become ill and to infect others. At the same time, many Americans refuse to accept vaccinations against Covid-19 and its variants - a disease which has killed more than a million people in the United States alone - insisting that their freedom to control what goes into their bodies gives them license to impede efforts to control a deadly epidemic.

Freedom implies a mutual respect for the rights and interests of others; license implies that the rights and interests of others are unimportant and must be subordinated to your own. 

I like to think the Founders wanted to establish a nation that leavened freedom with responsibility and mutual respect. I like to think they understood that if freedom careened off into license, their experiment in self-governance would be imperiled. I think they would be utterly aghast at the state of political thought and discourse in this country today, and how their sacrifices to form a new nation of freedom are being wasted in the service of radical conservatism.

Enjoy the freedoms you are guaranteed as an American. But avoid the temptation to view them as a license to trample on the rights and freedoms of others.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

* If you're interested in the longer-term history of the ruin of the GOP, read Dana Milbank's book, The Destructionists: The Twenty-Five Year Crack-Up of the Republican Party."

"Fifth"

If the average American doesn't know anything else about the Constitution, he (or she) knows two things: (1) the Second Amendment grants the unrestricted right to pack iron anytime, anywhere, for any reason; and, (2) the Fifth Amendment protects one from being compelled to provide self-incriminating evidence.

Of the two, belief in the sacred nature of the Second Amendment is generally more highly prized and vigorously defended, but for many Americans, it's the Fifth Amendment that is more useful. Here's what the Fifth Amendment actually says (emphasis added): 

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

The Fifth Amendment, in particular the highlighted clause, has entered the common vernacular through the expression "taking the Fifth," in which a witness invokes their Constitutional protection against self-incrimination.

It seems to me, based on observing the actions of Der Furor and many individuals in his orbit, that this fundamental right of American citizens - while quite useful - is not properly respected for what it is: a vital personal right not guaranteed to most people in most countries. Indeed, invocation of the Fifth Amendment has become little more than a truncated Pavlovian reaction to unpleasant questions one might otherwise be compelled under oath to answer. Consider the video testimony of lawyer John Eastman and retired general Michael Flynn played during the January 6th Committee hearings ... when asked questions they did not wish to answer, each man simply said, "Fifth" or "The Fifth." Occasionally, they became positively loquacious by saying "Same Answer."

On the other hand, blowhard political troublemaker Roger Stone was a bit more voluble, repeatedly saying, "On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer your question on the basis of the Fifth Amendment." This is perhaps the only time the adverb "respectfully" might ever be applied to Roger Stone's behavior. 

No less a well-read and educated Constitutional scholar than Der Furor himself used to scoff at the exercise of the Fifth Amendment right to avoid self-incrimination, saying on one occasion,

“So there are five people taking the Fifth Amendment, like you see on the mob, right? You see the mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?”

Of course, now that the law is finally catching up with many of the actions he's gotten away with in the past, his attitude has changed. Now, he says 

“I once asked, ‘If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?’ ... Now I know the answer to that question. When your family, your company, and all the people in your orbit have become the targets of an unfounded, politically motivated Witch Hunt supported by lawyers, prosecutors, and the Fake News Media, you have no choice.”

During a deposition in August, Der Furor followed the lead of Messrs Eastman and Flynn by invoking the Fifth Amendment at the outset, then answering all subsequent questions with "same answer."

Now, in the great scheme of things, this may seem like a minor point to you, but it's a big one to me. While the exercise of a person's rights under the Fifth Amendment is perfectly legal and guaranteed by our Constitution, choosing to exercise it by simply saying "fifth" or "the fifth" or "same answer" in bored tones is the verbal equivalent of flipping the bird to the court. Roger Stone, whatever his failings (and they are many), at least pretended to pay proper acknowledgement to a fundamental right. 

Of course, the way things are going, taking the right fifth isn't necessarily a bad thing ...

Have a good day. Respect the freedoms you enjoy ... all of them.

More thoughts later.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Today is the second of this month's three Halloween-themed Poetry Sundays, and we turn to poet Louise Glück for this eerie and unsettling poem ...

All Hallows

by Louise Glück

Even now this landscape is assembling.

The hills darken. The oxen

sleep in their blue yoke,

the fields having been

picked clean, the sheaves

bound evenly and piled at the roadside

among cinquefoil, as the toothed moon rises:

This is the barrenness

of harvest or pestilence.

And the wife leaning out the window

with her hand extended, as in payment,

and the seeds

distinct, gold, calling

Come here

Come here, little one

And the soul creeps out of the tree.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Beware of souls creeping out of scary trees.

More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Just when you thought it was safe to come out from under the covers ...

Beloved actress Angela Lansbury died just five days short of her 97th birthday; screaming blowhard Alex Jones was ordered by a Connecticut jury to pay nearly $1 BILLION to the families of children murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012 who he said were "crisis actors" hired as part of a plot to seize guns from Americans; the House Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol held its final public hearing on Thursday, presenting damning evidence of Der Furor's central role in the insurrection and culminating with the approval of a subpoena demanding Der Furor's testimony and documents* ... in response, Der Furor responded with a childish, rambling fourteen-page letter attacking the committee, ten pages of which were attachments regurgitating the usual litany of long-debunked election fraud claims; a Florida jury sentenced the man who murdered 17 students at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in 2018 to life in prison; and in Missouri, Planned Parenthood is responding to a surge in requests for vasectomies following the Supreme Court decision that removed abortion rights by announcing that a mobile vasectomy clinic (called "The Nutcracker") will offer free snips to interested men in three Missouri cities during the first week of November before going on the road to other midwest cities the following week.

And we move into week two of our annual Cartoon Saturday salute to Halloween with a collection of cartoons featuring terrifying bloodsuckers. No, not IRS agents - vampires ...

It's a twofer! ...

He's now a veganpire ...

It's one way to keep from having to share your favorite snacks ...

I can see that. No, wait ...

He needs to try Vlad's blood oranges from the second cartoon ...

I can see where a Bit-bit would be useful for vampires worried about their level of fitness ...

It's an interesting approach to acquired immunity ...

He's been watching too many Internet videos ...

At least you can step away from the camera and nobody will notice ...

It was worth a try ...

And that finishes the bite we've taken out of my collection of vampire cartoons ... I hope you enjoyed them. Humor in a jugular vein, as it were.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for our second Halloween-themed Poetry Sunday for October. More spooky thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Yeah, good luck with that.