Good Manners In the Age of Technology

An article I read on the CNN website yesterday asked, "Where are your high-tech manners?" It reported, among other things, the results of a Pew Research poll which revealed that 81% of the persons surveyed were irritated at least occasionally by loud and annoying cell phone use in public places, and that about one in ten respondents admitted they had been the target of criticism or stares because of their own cell phone use. Interestingly, the poll also noted that about a quarter of those surveyed believed they would need to answer their phone even if it interrupted a meal or a meeting. In a separate poll conducted in 2006, an ABC News survey reported that nearly 75% of those surveyed had observed someone using a phone or Blackberry during a meeting or while engaging in conversation with someone.

I think this is very interesting on several levels. First, a large majority of people find some cell phone use in public to be annoying; second, that many of those people would engage in the same behavior they find objectionable; third, that modern technology has provided us with more and more opportunities to be rude to others.

I wrote in this space a while back about a loud cell phone conversation I overheard in an airport waiting area in which an irate man was berating the person on the other end about a problem with his proctology appointment. It was bad enough that he was loud and obnoxious, but did the rest of us really need to know about such a personal issue?

I agree with the poll results on the basis of personal experience. In the interest of full disclosure, I should note that I do conduct cell phone conversations in public, but never on topics I wouldn't want someone to hear about. I would never interrupt a meeting or conversation to take a cell phone call. Cell phones have also spoiled the experience of going to the theater and movies nowadays. I used to be annoyed by rude, loud talking ... now, it's even louder talking ("Can you hear me? Can you hear me?"), plus the annoying cacophony of very loud ringtones (evidently, most people can't hear a ringing cell phone unless everyone within 50 feet can hear it, too). And just last night, I was placing a take-out order in a restaurant that was interrupted - twice - as the lady at the counter took phone-in orders while I was actually standing in front of her. One might have thought she could have asked the callers to hold while she took care of me.

Loud cell phone conversations and texting at inappropriate times are just the symptoms of a general lack of common courtesy that I've mourned in this space before. If you're guilty of any of these transgressions, well, why not start now to fix the problem. Trust me - the world won't end if you turn off the phone for a few minutes, or wait until the meeting is over to send that critically important text message.

Sadly, technology has trumped good manners. It doesn't need to be this way, but somehow I don't see the situation changing any time soon. If parents and friends don't correct bad manners, they'll just keep on proliferating.

And eventually, Darwinian natural selection will produce humans with huge thumbs for texting, and ears shaped to fit cell phones.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo