Machines Hate Me

I'm not usually paranoid, but somehow I think that all the machines in my life have decided to gang up on me and drive me crazy. Lest YOU think I'm crazy, let me tell you what's going on...

It all started yesterday morning, when our fancy single-serving coffee maker refused to produce a cup of coffee for me. After a few tries, it grudgingly brewed me a mere half a cup. This morning, it attacked from a different direction, brewing a cup about a third more full than usual.

Back to yesterday. I hopped into my car and cranked the ignition...to find the battery dead. Well, luckily we have an older car I was able to use. This car has power windows, three of which work reliably (the dead one is the front passenger's side window, of course). Now, as of yesterday, the driver's side rear window has slipped its gears, drops open every time I hit a bump, and won't respond to the switches. When I park, I have to put my hands on both sides of the window and shove it back up to close it. By the time I get back, it's usually managed to slip partly open again.

Ran errands, came back home, and sat down to print copies of the newsletter I write for our dance studio. As the third copy came off the printer, I noticed that it was grossly faded...I needed new black and color ink cartridges. Of course, I didn't have any spares, so I hopped back into the car (the one with the demon-possessed rear window) and drove to the nearby warehouse store, where I bought a multi-pack of cartridges (two small black and one large color). Back home, replaced both cartridges...and the printer's message window told me I had to put a black cartridge into the right-side holder. &^*%!, I said, there is a cartridge in there! I took it out, shook it, replaced it, and the printer still petulantly demanded that I insert a black cartridge. Well, okay, I thought...the printer can use either the #94 (small) or #96 (large) HP black cartridges, and since I was trying to replace a #96 with a #94, maybe it was balking at the smaller size.

So...

Back to the car, back to the warehouse store, and bought a three-pack of #96 (large) HP black ink cartridges. Back home, took out the new #94 (small), replaced it with the new #96 (large), closed the printer cover...and it still told me I needed to insert a black cartridge.

Now, 24 hours later, it's still telling me the same thing.

I outwitted the stupid printer by using the printer attached to Agnes's computer, but I'm still stuck either with five apparently useless black print cartridges or a broken printer that will probably cost more to fix than I paid for it in the first place. The car window is still broken, the coffee maker is iffy, and I thought I saw my electric toothbrush eyeing me slyly from the corner of the sink.

I think I need a drink.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow...if the machines haven't done me in.

Bilbo