Yesterday's post on names drew quite a few comments - another topic that, for whatever reason, seemed to resonate with all of you out there. One of the commenters was my long-time friend and co-worker Katherine (writing under her cutesy pen name of "Anonymous"), who noted that sometimes people end up with names that are somehow appropriate to their occupations. She wrote about an officer named "Payne" who was an instructor at her ROTC summer field training. He was a Major. Which, of course, made him "Major Payne," which, she claims, he was. She also wrote about a doctor named "LeMorte" who once treated her brother in an emergency room...probably not the best of names for a physician.
Many years ago, my parents had a friend who was a urologist named - uniquely - "Fawcett." He was a bluff, hail-fell0w-well-met sort of guy who was fond of booming, "Fawcett's the name, urine's the game! If you can't pee, see me!" And I remember a heating contractor back home named Raymond Helt, whose trucks all bore the splashy motto, "If you need heat, go to Helt!"
One of the word games I've enjoyed playing over the years is inventing names for people that reflect their occupations. Mad Magazine (that paragon of literary excellence I so enjoyed) often ran lots of these, and if you listen to the "Car Talk" program on NPR, you can hear lots of them in the credits that follow the show. Here are a few classic examples:
The head of a Working Mothers' Support Group named "Erasmus B. Dragon;"
A medieval castle defense strategist named "Mandy Battlements;"
A female bouncer named "Amanda B. Warov;"
A social worker named "Karen Ford DeNeedy;"
A conspiracy theorist named "Nadia Believeme;"
The valet parking staff: "Denton Fenders," "Randy Batterydown," "Nick Adore," and "Kent Steerwell."
A back-seat driver named "Veronica Lisioncourse;" and,
A complaint department representative named "Xavier Breath."
Having thus begun plumbing the depths of awful puns related to names and occupations, I turn it all over to you...any other suggestions?
Have a good day. More thoughts (and a third stab at discussing names, courtesy of reader Mike) tomorrow.
Bilbo
I'm stumped but yours are great!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any either but I like this topic on names. Talking about names makes everybody laugh and most people have a story on names. Can't wait for your post tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteDr. Harry Beaver, Gynecologist (he is local from Vienna, VA).
ReplyDeleteIris Setter, dog sitter (she is also local).
I like Helen Waite for the complaint department rep. If you have a complaint, go to Helen Waite!
ReplyDeleteRemember when you said you had a joke but couldn't print it? Well I talked to my friend Harry and he said he didn't want his name used here. I told Mr. Butts that he was being to selfconscious. He said not as much as his brother Seymour.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the second post "but" I was searching for some books that I thought remembered seeing around. I found two.
ReplyDelete"Under the Grandstand" by Seymour Butts.
And "The Yellow River" by I.P. Freely
These's a list of a lot more of these somewhere around my house in my joke file from work 20 years ago. One of these days I'll find that file.