The Right Tool for the Right Job

In my continuing quest to bring you stimulating commentary on the most interesting and informative things going on in the world, and being sick unto death of Mr McCain and Mr Obama, I direct your attention to this headline that caught my eye on CNN this morning: Sports Bra Saves Hiker Stranded in Alps.

It's truly an uplifting story (so to speak) of courage and resourcefulness in dire circumstances. The lady had gotten lost while hiking, tumbled down a cliff face to land on a narrow ledge, and managed to survive for 70 hours by breaking into a supply box she found on the ledge (and how's that for a deus ex machina event, eh?). She took off her bra and tied it to a timber transport cable that ran past the ledge, the cable being slack and within reach only because the system was being repaired; when the repairs were finished and the cable was tested, the bra waved its way past a startled lumberjack at the lower end, who alerted authorities to the presence of an unauthorized bra hitchhiking on the system. A helicopter followed the cable up the mountain and found the lady - alive and well, if a bit saggy - on the ledge.

As stories of heroic survival and rescue go, this one ought to live on and its lessons entered into survival manuals: "If trapped on an alpine ledge, use bra to attract attention of lumberjacks."

So, ladies, remember when hiking to wear a bra, preferably of a bright and noticeable color, for use as a signaling device if necessary. Your chances of rescue are, of course, inversely proportional to the size (and, hence, noticeability) of the bra, so those of you who are Hooters waitresses are probably more likely to be rescued than, say, the average anorexic runway model.

And as for us guys, well, somehow, I think that if I had been in the same situation and had attached my underwear to the cable as a signal, my skeleton wouldn't have been found until sometime around 2055.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo