You all know how I feel about religion, so we won't beat that horse any more. Nevertheless, I'm fascinated by the idea of religion and how it can turn otherwise rational human beings into mindless fanatics willing to condemn (or even kill) those who subscribe to other belief systems. And why do we have such a wide range of religious beliefs, anyhow...some of them bizarre beyond understanding (snake-handling cults, anyone)?
As a way of sorting out the bewildering array of religious beliefs out there, I offer you - as a public service - this updated version of the classic comparison of belief systems (and, since is is an all-ages blog, I've taken the liberty of replacing the original noun. Use your imagination):
Taoism: Stuff Happens
Confucianism: Confucius said, "Stuff happens"
Calvinism: Stuff happens because you don't work hard enough
Buddhism: If stuff happens, it really isn't stuff
Seventh Day Adventist: No stuff on Saturdays
Zen: What is the sound of stuff happening?
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good stuff happening
Hinduism: This stuff happened before
Mormon: This stuff is going to happen again
Islam: If stuff happens it is the will of Allah, and you'd better not draw any pictures of it or I'll kill you.
Moonies: Only happy stuff really happens
Stoicism: This stuff is good for me
Protestantism: Let the stuff happen to someone else
Catholicism: Stuff happens because you are bad
Lutheranism: Here are 95 reasons why stuff happens
Hare Krishna: Stuff happens, rama, rama
Judaism: Why does this stuff always happen to us?
Zoroastrianism: Stuff happens half the time
Christian Science: Stuff is in your mind
Atheism: I don't believe this stuff
Agnosticism: Stuff might happen
Existentialism: What is stuff, anyway?
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this stuff
Jehovah's Witness: Let me come in and tell you why stuff happens
Southern Baptist: You will burn in hell if you let stuff happen
Televangelism: Send in more stuff
Scientology: You must be absolutely quiet and still while stuff is happening
Don't thank me...it's all part of my ongoing effort to help you make sense of the world around you. As if that were possible.
Have a good day. Make stuff happen. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
This is good stuff!
ReplyDeleteRe: Buddhism--
ReplyDeleteStuff happens because of stuff you did in a prior life, or maybe yesterday.
Eminence Grise
Witch Doctors: Stuff happens, rama, rama, ding dong.
ReplyDelete