Both of our cars have long been paid off, and given the cost of new (and even decent used) cars, not having a car payment is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, we have one car that's pretty much inert and another that has all the winter road traction of Vaseline on waxed paper, and so we're grudgingly starting to think about the horrifying possibility of a new vehicle.
The absolute cost of the car is only the tip of the economic iceberg, though. By the time the dealer gets done tacking on all the destination charges, transportation charges, preparation charges, delivery charges, surcharges, cavalry charges, and overcharges; the governor takes his cut via sales tax and personal property tax; the DMV takes a slice with registration fees; and the insurance company gleefully calculates its premiums, that $34,000 car ends up costing about $497,000 and change. Jerry Reed said it well ...
All of which brings me to this helpful guide to automotive acronyms that has been compiled by the incomparable Miss Cellania:
BMW - Big Money Waste
BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVY - Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
DODGE - Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT - Fix It Again Tomorrow
FORD - Found On Road Dead
GM - Grinding Metal
GMC - Got Mechanic Coming
HONDA - Hold On, Not Done Accelerating
JEEP - Just Enough Engine Power
KIA - Killed In Action
MAZDA - Made At Zoo by Demented Apes
MG - Mostly Garaged
OLDSMOBILE - Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Increasingly Late Everyday
PINTO - Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants
PLYMOUTH - Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood
PONTIAC - Poor Old Nebraskan, Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE - Piece Of Rusty Scrap, Cost Highly Expensive
SUBARU - Still Usable But All Rusty Underneath
TOYOTA - The One You Ought To Avoid
VW - Virtually Worthless
BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVY - Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
DODGE - Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT - Fix It Again Tomorrow
FORD - Found On Road Dead
GM - Grinding Metal
GMC - Got Mechanic Coming
HONDA - Hold On, Not Done Accelerating
JEEP - Just Enough Engine Power
KIA - Killed In Action
MAZDA - Made At Zoo by Demented Apes
MG - Mostly Garaged
OLDSMOBILE - Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Increasingly Late Everyday
PINTO - Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants
PLYMOUTH - Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood
PONTIAC - Poor Old Nebraskan, Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE - Piece Of Rusty Scrap, Cost Highly Expensive
SUBARU - Still Usable But All Rusty Underneath
TOYOTA - The One You Ought To Avoid
VW - Virtually Worthless
We're going to put off the agony as long as possible, but sooner or later I'll have to grit my teeth and turn Agnes loose on some unsuspecting salesman. She's a much better negotiator than I am. A long time ago we were looking for a new car for her (emphasis on the "looking" part), and at one of the dealerships we visited a hyperaggressive salesman latched onto us and just couldn't get the message that we weren't going to buy anything that day. He pushed and prodded and badgered us so much that by the time we finally walked out in disgust, he could have offered to give us the car, pay the insurance, throw in lifetime gas, service, and detailing, hire a chauffeur, and build a new, climate-controlled garage for us to keep it in, and Agnes would still have still told him to go to hell.
I wish I could be like that, but it's just one more reason I'm lucky to have her.
Stay tuned for more of the ongoing car search agony.
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
I'm taking over my brother's 10 year old car.....We'll delay the pain of a new car until Richard has graduated and found a job.
ReplyDeleteJust joined the 100,000 mile club (not to be confused with the Mile High Club)and went over 100,000 miles on the odometer. The car will be paid off in the spring so I will enjoy having the title in my hot little hands and no car payments. If I'm lucky I'll get another 5 years out of this (2005 Ford Focus) before I buy a new one. I've owned 2 Mitsubishi's, 2 Fords and 1 Honda, and if I were going to buy another car right now, (aside from a Prius or the Volt) I'd probably get a Ford Fiesta. It got a pretty good rating and I like small cars. If I only did commute driving in the city I'd consider a Smart car but given I take the car on the Interstate with big trucks and everything, that's not a very smart choice.
ReplyDeleteYesterday morning I saw a weird looking (from the rear) small SUV, with the model name "Cayene S" on the back but no make. I sped up to see if we could see anything on the front and was amazed to find the Porche shield on the front grill. WTF? Porche makes an SUV? The world has gone really crazy--and it was ugly, too. Have fun shopping and buy from the first salesman that doesn't do a hard sell (probably because the cars are good enough to sell themselves).
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, Mark's current Volvo has gone over 185k miles and still looks and operates like it's got 10k on it.
good luck to ya. I've heard that the Ford Fusion is a good bet on the American made front, plus they are really pretty. I love my focus too.
ReplyDeleteRemember when the hybrids came out? A new battery pack was supposed to cost $800 - $1200? Try $3500 installed. $2100 if you want to do it yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think I like Agnes!
ReplyDeleteWe lease our cars -- we like this much more, especially since mine comes with total maintenance.