Signs of Stress

Things have been pretty ... intense ... at work lately, lately being defined as the last year or so. I tend to be a fairly laid-back fellow, but it's all starting to get to me. How do I know? Because I recognize a few signs of stress...

Relatives that have been dead for years are visiting and suggesting I should get some rest.

The Sun is too loud.

Trees are chasing me.

I can see individual air molecules vibrating.

I've been examining the mechanics of setting up an IV drip for espresso.

I wonder if brewing is really necessary, or if I can get the same effect more quickly from just snorting coffee grounds.

Mimes make too much noise.

Conservative/Republican social and economic theories are starting to make sense.

Liberal/Democratic social and economic theories are starting to make sense.

I asked the drive-thru attendant if I could get my order to go.

I keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though I'm the only one in the room.

My heart is beating in 7/8 time.

I have filed for divorce from reality.

I can skip without a rope.

People seem to be speaking to me in binary code.

I recognize antacid tablets as a basic food group.

I think office supplies have an innate, aesthetic beauty.

I started talking to myself, disagreed about the subject, got into a nasty argument, lost the dispute, and haven't spoken to myself for three days.

Teddy bears bully me for milk and cookies.

I'm just glad that I can soothe myself by watching the calm and statesmanlike behavior of my elected reprehensives, or I'd be in real trouble.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo