Can I Supersize That Doomsday for You?

As a fan of science fiction and horror movies, I'm looking forward to next weekend's premiere of the very-hyped remake of the classic film Godzilla. Nothing like a gigantic monster stomping the hell out of a major city to make you forget about the awesome destructive power of the GOP.

But enough of all that, let's talk about monsters that aren't real.

Those of you who are familiar with the original Godzilla film (made in 1954) will recall that the original Godzilla (Gojira, in Japanese) was a gigantic and fearsome beast that flattened Tokyo, breathed radioactive fire, and was created as a result of American nuclear tests in the Pacific in the late 1940s and early 50s ...

For the Japanese, who had the distinction of being the only nation ever subjected to an atomic attack, it was a cautionary tale of the effects of misguided science. For Americans, it was a "bomb Pearl Harbor, eh? ... take that!" extravaganza. The original Godzilla was a terrifying creature of mass destruction, but in time and through many films (mostly forgettable), he co-starred with other monsters even more fearsome: consider his role in such movies as "Godzilla vs the Smog Monster," "Godzilla vs King Giddorah," and even "King Kong vs Godzilla." Such were the monsters of the 1950's ... today we have Al Qaeda, Boko Haram, Vladimir Putin, and the NRA.

But the 2014 version of Godzilla has suffered a major indignity at the hands of his fans: Japanese purists are complaining that the new Godzilla is too fat, and has been "super-sized by a country used to large portions." In the words of one 51 year-old fan quoted in the article, who has seen every Godzilla movie, "It's fat from the neck downwards and massive at the bottom." See this bit of tie-in merchandise for an example of what the gentleman is talking about ...

I will reserve judgement on the size of Godzilla's booty until I've seen the movie, but I feel sorry for the fate of a once-terrifying monster who is now being accused of being - as my father would have said - too many axe handles across the backside. It's a sad world when even the King of the Monsters can't get any respect.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Would you like some cosmic destruction with that?

Bilbo