Don't Take This Sitting Down

Last year I attempted to broaden your perspectives on human behavior by describing the rules by which men select which urinal to use in public restrooms. If you somehow missed that post, you can review it here. And if you want to know everything else about human bathroom behavior, look no further - here is is, in an article by Clint Rainey from New York Magazine titled (of course) "Everything We Know About Human Bathroom Behavior."

You can learn:

- How men and women choose their stall or urinal. Yes, it's not only men who have unwritten rules about where to relieve themselves. About all we don't do is circle the right spot three or four times before doing our business.

- The science of urination and the rules which govern how men pee. Studies show that putting a fly decal on the urinal can reduce ... uh ... spillage by as much as 80 percent.

- How people behave in bathroom stalls. This is very interesting, because one of the points made in the article is that many people like to conduct business while doing their business. I can tell you from personal observation that a great many overly personal cell phone conversations are conducted in Pentagon men's rooms by people who seem to believe that Maxwell Smart's cone of silence descends upon them when the door closes.

- How people use toilet paper. There's more to it than Sears catalogs, corncobs, and arguing over whether the roll should be mounted for over or under access.

And much, much more.

Don't say I never provide you with useful information you can whip out when the conversation slows down at parties.

Have a good day. Learn the science and etiquette of appropriate elimination, which will serve you in good stead during election season.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo