Random observations and comments from the Fairfax County, Virginia, Curmudgeon-at-Large.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Sex, Marriage, and Hysteria
Since there obviously hasn't been enough written about the Supreme Court's decision in Obergefell v Hodges that marriage between same-sex couples is legal in all 50 states, I thought I'd weigh in with my two cents. Stop reading if you're sick of the whole thing ... I'll be off on another tangent tomorrow and you can come back then.
Let me begin by saying that I'm not gay. I'm as straight as they come, and I find the idea of sexual attraction between men or between women to be ... well ... unsettling, if not actually distasteful*. But I also understand that there are people in this world who, for whatever reason, are attracted to persons of the same sex. I don't know why this is so ... if the reason is chemical, psychological, or whatever. I accept that there are such people. I don't have to think or feel the same way, and it's certainly not my place to pass judgment on them when even the Pope says it's not his place to do so. As it happens, I have a great many friends who I know are gay or lesbian, and probably others who are, but haven't "come out." That's fine. If they don't make a fuss about my being straight, I won't make a fuss about them being gay. There are too many worse problems that divide us to waste time on this one.
However ...
I don't believe that a marriage between two adults of the same sex is the right environment in which to raise children. I believe that a child grows and benefits from having loving parents of both sexes, and while a same-sex couple can certainly love a child, they cannot give that child the lessons of life and the points of view that can be taught by a father and a mother. Same-sex marriage is wonderful for adults ... not so good for children.
That's all.
Have a good day. Grit your teeth and accept that not everybody thinks and acts the same way you do ... you'll be happier. More thoughts tomorrow, when we consider something we really ought to worry about.
Bilbo
* This has nothing at all to do with religious beliefs and everything to do with what I personally feel comfortable with.
P.S. - I doubt that the issue of marriage - gay or straight - ever crossed anyone's mind while they were writing the Constitution.
It's good to live and let live. And not make a problem out of everything that is different.
ReplyDeleteAlex, I'll take "Hysteria" for 500.
ReplyDeleteYea, divorce isn't the right environment in which to raise children. They need 2 loving parents under the same roof demonstrating love, hard work, family first and discipline, structure and love for a child to thrive. The horrors of same sex loving families.
ReplyDeleteHaving seen first-hand many same sex couples raising great healthy adjusted children, I find your statement utterly silly. But it's your right to have that opinion so Bill you don't have to marry a gay person, your kids will be fine.
My sister married a man of a different race and she heard the same things. Her children have masters degrees in various successful careers, one working on an MBA. They were told the same things when they married. The horrors, the difficulties for their children. It made the children, open, empathetic, smart and resourceful. Damn what a shame! Happy, successful, well-adjusted kids from 2 loving parents. What a mess!
Logistically two adults in a household is better for kids than a single adult with no additional support. And two gay adults are not going to 'turn' a kid gay as the right wing extremists claim.
ReplyDeleteI haven't studied the topic, but I think I've seen references to research indicating that a child having two different-sex parents is generally better-equipped for life than a child having two same-sex parents. One thing I've not seen, however, is anything relating to this fact: children of same-sex parents are not accidents or unplanned. I think that automatically gives them a leg up vis-a-vis many kids in heterosexual families.
ReplyDeletePeggy, I don't argue that a same-sex couple can raise and love a child, and do it better than a dysfunctional "traditional" set of parents. But I still believe that a child is best served when he or she has parents who can provide gender-specific life lessons. Dave's point about children of same-sex couples not being "accidents or unplanned" is a good one. I don't claim to have all the answers, or that my point of view is absolutely correct - if I did that, I'd be in the GOP. I wrote from the heart, without the intent to malign anyone. I know (from long experience reading your blog) what forms your opinions, and I respect them. I'm just approaching with a different point of view.
ReplyDeleteWhat are gender-specific life lessons and can't the extended family or even family friends fill those needs just like they can help in single parent households? I doubt even the majority of "normal" families provide manly-man and lady-woman lessons or gender-specific role models. A child needs human life lessons and non-gender specific role models to reach their full potential. A man's or woman's perspective on opposite gender issues isn't necessarily a bad thing for any child.
ReplyDelete