The fall term (or semester, or whatever) has begun on college campuses around the country, and millions of students are settling back down to the routine of
Chemistry: Where alcohol is a solution.
Biochemistry: Spend four years aspiring to discover a cure for cancer and the rest of your life manufacturing shampoo.
Archaeology: If you don't know what it is, it was ceremonial.
Business Administration: You, too, can wreck the economy!
Information Technology: Let me Google that for you.
Computer Science: Because you can save money by being able to work out of your parents' basement.
Political Science: Your opinion is wrong and you hate America.
Engineering: The science of figuring out which parameters you can safely ignore.
Structural Engineering: Because architects don't understand physics.
Philosophy: Think about it.
Communications: Exciting careers in obfuscatory politics.
Linguistics: Study 17 languages; become fluent in none.
Criminal Justice: Never a job shortage!
Statistics: Support, not illumination.
Anthropology: It may get you laid but won't get you paid.
Zoology: Because you can't major in kittens.
Pre-Med: I'll switch majors in two years.
Divinity School: My God can beat up your God.
English: So you want to be a teacher.
Astrophysics: Within an order of magnitude.
Creative Writing: Job security is for wusses.
Physics: Everything you learned last semester is wrong.
Nursing: Save lives while fighting not to take your own.
Marine Biology: I wanted to play with dolphins but instead, I look at algae.
Accounting: Sell your soul for money.
Finance: Accounting was too hard.
Art History: Because you thought making art was pointless.
Graphic Design: We aren't artists, we're designers; there's a difference!
Any other suggestions? Leave a comment.
Have a good day. Study hard ... you may end up unemployed, but you'll be well-educated.
More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Those were so fitting!
ReplyDeletePsychology - So guys you hang out with think you know what they are really thinking.
Sociology - You know everyone will think that's deep because they don't know what it is.
Phys Ed - Have a beach bod 12 months a year.
HUman Environmental Sciences - What your grandma studied when they called it Home Ec.
Astronomy: No, not astrology!
ReplyDeleteGeology: Be a rock doc.
Chemical engineering - Watch me write one equation that fills up all the blackboards in three classrooms.
ReplyDeleteHorticulture: Educating bad girls one by one.
ReplyDeletePsychology: Have everyone you meet tell you their problems and want free advice to fix them!
ReplyDelete