Wednesday, November 25, 2015

What's Your Sign and Irrational Terror?


I recently ran across this interesting, if unscientific article: The Thing That Irrationally Terrifies You, According to Your Zodiac Sign.

If you believe in such things, my irrational fear (I'm a Scorpio) is mycophobia - the fear of mushrooms. Personally, I think this is ridiculous for several reasons. First of all, if I was irrationally afraid of mushrooms, I probably wouldn't love to see great mounds of them on my plate, sautéd with onions next to a nice, medium-rare steak. And secondly, I'm pretty sure that I may be a mushroom myself, based on the old saying that "I must be a mushroom, because they keep me in the dark and feed me s**t."

Here are the alleged irrational fears for the other signs of the Zodiac (with my comments, of course):

Aries (March 21 - April 19): Atelophobia, the fear of not doing something right or the fear of not being good enough. There must not be any Aries running for president.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Metathesiophobia, the fear of change. I wonder if those suffering from Obama Derangement Syndrome are all Tauruses (Tauri?).

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Eremophobia, the fear of loneliness. I thought it was actually the fear of using the archaic word ere instead of the modern before.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Agoraphobia, the fear of open spaces, being in crowded public places, or fear of leaving a safe place. I think I'll go back to bed.

Leo (July 23 - August 22): Zelophobia, the fear of jealousy.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Ataxophobia, the fear of messes (untidiness and disorder). Not a problem at Chez Bilbo.

Libra (September 23 - October 22): Decidophobia, the fear of making decisions. Former president George W. Bush, the "decider in chief" was actually a cancer (born on July 6th), freeing him to have no fear of making disastrous decisions.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): Claustrophobia, the fear of confined spaces. Not the fear of bearded fat men in red suits emerging from one's chimney?

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Coulrophobia, the fear of clowns. God help you during this election season ... you're doomed.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Arachibutyrophobia, the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Geniophobia, the fear of chins. I guess you're screwed if Jay Leno shows up at your house. I always thought that this was actually the fear of wish-granting figures emerging from old lamps.


9 comments:

  1. I'm an Aries. It got me right.

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  2. I'm a Libra, but not hesitant in making decisions. Even bad ones.

    Colruphobia is mine.

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  3. As a Pisces I do not mind a chin or two in fact... CATS are my biggest fear. House cats.

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  4. Never would have spotted you for a fungi, or would I?

    The Gemini one is fearfully true!!

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  5. Gemini.
    Nope. Not afraid of being lonely.

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  6. As a Leo, I'm not sure how you can be fearful of jealousy. In any case, I'm not inclined to such. But if there were one for bugs, that would be me.

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  7. I'm a Virgo with a fear of sharks.

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  8. Sagittarius here with a fear of being too young. Every day I get a little better.

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