I Don't Think I'll Be Replying

I've written before about some of the bizarre spam that finds its way to my in-box. That was five years ago, and the situation has not improved. Here are some of the subject lines in my in-box this morning:

"Am I Your Dream Love?" - this one is from "AsianWomenOnline."

"Double Your Income in the Next 2 Weeks (Work from Home)"  - this one is an immediate reject because it uses an objectionable four-letter word - "work."

"Get the Lowest Rates on These Amazing Dental-Implants" - I get ads offering me good deals on breast implants, too.

"Miracle Bamboo Bra Wants to Hear from You!" - I literally don't know what to say about this one.

"Finally, Give Your Woman What She Wants" - I don't think they're talking about long-arm sewing machines or the latest upgrade to PhotoShop.

"Increase Your Sex Drive. Try Test X180 Ignite" - This one came from the same sender as the previous one.

"Get Erections Easily When You Want" - At my age, I thought an erection was the process the Japanese use to select their government representatives.

"Sex Like Your Friends Talk About Can Be Yours!" - My friends don't talk about sex, so I don't think an "extra strength male enhancement solution" would be worth it.

"Many Large Settlements Awarded for Failed Incontinence Surgery" - TMI.

"Adult Diapers Can Be Discrete and Comfortable" - Thanks for sharing, particularly in the context of the previous e-mail, but it's still TMI.

Well, at least today's spam crop didn't feature any of those can't-pass-it-up deals on cemetery plots or cremation services that start arriving once you hit the big six-oh.

Have a good day. Don't click. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo