Guest Post

Hello!

We may not have met yet. My name is Gloria, and I’m one of the chickens that lives with Bilbo’s daughter and her family. I've shared my thoughts here before, and you can read my earlier post here.

I realize that we may not know each other, and it may be a little early to ask you for a favor, but these are trying and fast-moving times and I need to act quickly. My Friends (and I hope I may call you friends), after much thought and having canvassed the opinions of my friends around the coop, I have decided to run for president, and I’d like your support.

This is not a decision I take lightly, and I can understand that you might think the time is not yet right for a chicken to be president ... but let me make my case.

First of all, how could I possibly do a worse job than the president you have now? He’s the guy who once asked an audience to vote for him by asking “what have you got to lose?” ... well, now you know. If you vote for me, you won’t get some spring chicken ... I’ve been around the run a few times.

That Trump guy doesn’t show up in the office until 11:00 on most days, but I’m up with the chickens and ready to go to work.

I don’t have a Twitter account ... if I’m going to hunt and peck I’m going to do it for tasty bugs, not to waste my time writing and your time reading.

You’re already used to a president who shamelessly feathers his own nest ... so you won’t mind that I do, too.

As an elder chicken, I’m used to being at the top of the pecking order ... I understand that the United States used to be at the top of your international pecking order until that Trump fellow took over and screwed things up. Well, who’s better to get us back to the top than an experienced chicken like me?

At the moment, the annual salary for the president is $400,000. The nation can save a lot of money* by electing someone who will work for chicken feed.

And who’s more qualified than I am to play chicken with Iran when the chickens come home to roost?

Friends, a vote for Gloria is a vote for someone who won’t chicken out when the going gets tough. Vote for me ... I’m a good egg.

Have a good day. Bilbo will be back with his own thoughts tomorrow. Until then, remember to vote for me! Buck, buck, BUKAWWWW!

Gloria

* Trust me, you need to do that now that the government is going broke because of that Trump guy's tax cuts.