The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2022

This was the week I almost gave up. It was the week the worldwide degree of ass clownery nearly broke the Gohmert Stupidity Scale, the week that levels of cynical hypocrisy rose to heights almost unmatched in the annals of shamelessness.

This was the week I finally threw up my hands, unable to single out any individual or group worthy of receiving the award. I considered just a general award to "The Whole Insane World," but decided to just present not a group award, but a group of individual awards to some of the most hopelessly crazy ass clowns of the past week. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, 

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award for March, 2022

is presented - not as a joint award, but as separate individual awards - to the following FIVE recipients:

The Republican Party

for its deliberate undermining of national and international security and presidential leadership in a stunning example of the most cynical and hypocritical political backstabbing in American history. This is the ninth solo award for the GOP and its fifteenth overall (counting shared awards), and also earns a Gohmert Stupidity Scale score of 350,000 ghm;

The "Freedom Convoy"

a group of truckers enraged by the horrific assault on their freedoms represented by mask and vaccine mandates who wasted thousands of gallons of diesel fuel (now at a near-all-time high price) by driving across the country to parade aimlessly around the DC Beltway, making no particular impact on the usual sucky traffic there while making themselves look like tantrum-pitching children when compared to the actual tyranny occurring in besieged Ukraine. They also earn a Gohmert Stupidity Scale score of 250,000 ghm;

Der Furor

for one of the most amazingly incoherent and nonsensical response to a question about the situation in Ukraine one could ever imagine. This is the fourteenth award for Der Furor, and includes the Ass Clown of the Year award in 2015 the Lifetime Achievement award issued in 2017 (which was rescinded in 2020 in the face of unrelenting ass clownery and general moral disgrace) and also earns a Gohmert Stupidity Scale score of 2,999,999 ghm; 

Senator Lindsey Graham (R, SC)

for pitching a world-class hissy fit because his preferred candidate for the Supreme Court seat to be vacated by Justice Breyer was not nominated by the President. This was Senator Graham's fifth award, and earns a Gohmert Stupidity Scale reading of 200,000 ghm; and, of course,

Russian President Vladimir Putin

for launching a terrifyingly unnecessary and brutal war on the independent nation of Ukraine in furtherance of his personal grievances, hatreds, and imagined need to restore the glory of Russia ... which he has forever tarnished while burying the nation under crushing sanctions and world opprobrium. It is his fourth award, and earns a Gohmert Stupidity Scale score of 3,000,000 ghm.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I could easily have added scores of other recipients to this list today, but in the interest of brevity and sanity, I have limited it to these five. They deserve the scorn and disgust of all decent human beings.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then. 

Bilbo