You may have seen the latest brouhaha from the Senate, where Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has asked the Senate Sergeant-at-Arms to relax enforcement of the chamber's informal dress code, which has heretofore required Senators to wear "business attire" on the floor. The move was evidently intended (at least in part) for the convenience of Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman, who is noted for his preferred attire of shorts and a hoodie.
The reaction, mostly although not exclusively from Republicans, was one of swift outrage, viewing the move as a demeaning of the decorum of the Senate chamber ... no mention was made of the House chamber, there being no decorum there to demean any more, anyhow. Maine Senator Susan Collins joked about wearing a bikini to the Senate floor*, while Kansas Senator Roger Marshall described it as "a sad day in the Senate."
From my perspective, anything that would help make Senators comfortable enough to actually engage in useful work is a good thing, and if relaxing the dress code works, then let's do it. And let's extend it to the House, too, while we're at it.
As you might suspect, I have a few suggestions for an updated dress code for Congress, in particular the House of Representatives ...
1. Hats should be required at all times, and should be appropriate to the home state and political persuasion of each member: Senators and representatives from Texas and the western states should be required to wear ten-gallon hats; those from the more cosmopolitan states such as New York, Massachusetts, Virginia, and Rhode Island, trilbys or top hats; those from farming states like Iowa, Kansas, Nebraska, and much of the South, straw hats; those from the southwestern states of Nevada, Arizona and New Mexico, sombreros; those from New England, sou'westers; and Florida and California, baseball caps worn backwards. Hats worn by GOP members should be red, feature slogans of fealty to Der Furor, and consist of at least 85% tinfoil to enhance receptiveness to bizarre ideas and block useful ones.
2. House Freedom Caucus members are encouraged to wear colorful clown suits and appropriate makeup; however, extra-large shoes are not allowed as they represent a tripping hazard and make it difficult to put one's foot in one's mouth.
3. Ku Klux Klan robes are permitted, if accompanied by loud protestations that the wearer is in no way racist.
4. Self-designated Alpha Male members such as Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz may wear extra-long neckties in the phallic style of Der Furor.
5. Members who are ardent supporters of gun rights may carry weapons openly; however, pistols other than traditional six-shot revolvers must have a minimum 17-round magazine to be taken seriously. Military assault-style weapons, if carried, must be slung stylishly barrel-down across the back and equipped with a 30-round banana clip**, a telescopic sight, a laser rangefinder, or a combination thereof. Bayonets are optional on long guns. Hand grenades and other explosive or pyrotechnic devices are not yet considered "arms" in the Constitutional sense and may not be brought into the Capitol until the next time the GOP controls all three branches of government and fixes the oversight.
6. Prominent wear of Christian symbols is permitted at all times. This does not apply to other religions.
That's my start ... any other ideas? Leave a comment.
Congress may not be able to get anything done, but it can not do it in style.
Have a good day. More thoughts coming.
Bilbo
* Now, THERE's an image I don't need to see.
** A second banana clip taped to the one loaded in the weapon to facilitate rapid change of an empty magazine is encouraged, but not mandatory.
It's a weird debate to be having in this day and age.
ReplyDeleteWhile I understand the image that the Upper Chamber of our legislature wants to put forward, it really doesn't matter that much to most of our population anymore.
Our dress code for air traffic controllers was something like -- dress in a manner so as not to diminish the public confidence -- which meant we could pretty much wear whatever we wanted to wear.
Something as simple as that would work. It's unfortunate that it isn't what they wear that has diminished public confidence, It's more likely that the M-Fers just won't do their damn jobs!
John - I agree that diminished public confidence in Congress has less to do with attire than with competence. That said, appropriate attire can help inspire confidence in the professionalism of the individual. When I was a contractor working in the Pentagon, my company wanted us to wear jackets and ties, but I was able to get away with wearing turtlenecks in the winter.
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, Josh Hawley is starting to sound like a Democrat. He's coming up for reelection and he's brought up some proposals that would help normal people. He's getting desperate.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that came to my mind was tinfoil hats, but you covered even that! I do think there is something to be said for dressing neatly and business-like. Shorts and a sweatshirt look sloppy to my eye. I know many would not agree. If I am in my place of employment at a time of day when clients can enter the office, I wear business casual. If I am there in the evenings, I am less concerned.
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