Der Furor's New Campaign Song

As Der Furor steamrolls his way toward the likely Republican nomination, his rallies need new and better music. He's fond of using tunes* like "Macho Man," "You Can't Always Get What You Want," and "God Bless the USA," but they've gotten stale through overuse. As a public service, I have written a new campaign song for him, one more suited to his personality, and I offer it to his campaign with no charge ...

Are You Loathsome Tonight?

(sung to the tune of "Are You Lonesome Tonight?"**)

Are you loathsome tonight?

Still too far to the right?

Are you angry that Nikki’s still here?

Does your memory stray as you rant day to day

Always stoking Republican fears?

Are the chairs in your cabinet with sycophants full?

Do you hire just those who accept all your bull?

Is your heart filled with hate, do you fear to debate?

Tell me, Trump, are you loathsome tonight?

I wonder if you’re loathsome tonight

I know you once said that the world’s broken and only you can fix it

Fate had MAGAts in love with you as their sweetheart

Act one was where you met

They loved you at first glance

You read their fears so cleverly and never missed a cue

Then came act two, you seemed to change, you acted strange

Like an orange-tinted clown

Furor, you lied when you said you’d fix it

Still I never doubted you 

But I’d rather go on hearing your lies

Than to go on living without you

Now the stage is bare and you’re standing there

With no opposition around

And if you won’t accept a loss

Then you’ll burn America down

Is your heart filled with rage?

Shall we turn a new page?

Tell me, Trump, are you loathsome tonight?

Hint: yes, he is.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* One should note that many artists have objected to his use of their music at his rallies, including John Fogarty, Phil Collins, and Bruce Springsteen.

** If you're not familiar with the original song written by Roy Turk and Lou Handman in 1926 and most memorably recorded by The King, here are the lyrics, with a link to the YouTube audio:

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Are you lonesome tonight?

Do you miss me tonight?

Are you sorry we drifted apart?

Does your memory stray to a bright summer day

When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?

Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?

Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?

Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?

Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

I wonder if you're lonesome tonight

You know someone said that the world's a stage and each of us must play a part

Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweetheart

Act one was where we met

I loved you at first glance

You read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue

Then came act two, you seemed to change, you acted strange

And why I've never known

Honey, you lied when you said you loved me

And I had no cause to doubt you

But I'd rather go on hearing your lies

Than to go on living without you

Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there

With emptiness all around

And if you won't come back to me

Then they can bring the curtain down

Is your heart filled with pain

Shall I come back again?

Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?