The On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2024

May is one of two months this year (November will be the other) which offers us the opportunity to name not two, but three Ass Clown awardees, bringing back the On-Crack Ass Clown designation (thanks to fellow blogger John for the name). Having a third bite at the apple, as it were, helps to keep up with the tsunami of ass clownery that sweeps over us every day and leads us to shake our heads and mournfully ask, "they did what??"

Today, we look not to a single ass clown, but to an entire group. This will be the third group award presented this year (not counting the 2023 Ass Clown of the Year award presented to the Republican Party) - the others were the Special Award presented to the American News Media in February and the Right-Cheek Award presented to the Conservative Wing of the Supreme Court earlier this month. Group awards allow us to point out the sort of ass clownery that has become so rampant across entire categories of recipients, and keep me from having to do nothing with this blog but recognize one individual ass clown after another.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, designation as

The On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2024

is awarded to

Der Furor's Protective Society

As Der Furor's trial on 34 felony counts ground on in New York City, the defendant (he hates to be called that) expressed his anger that (among many, many other things) his sycophants were being insufficiently supportive in his time of self-inflicted trial. As a result, numerous members of Congress took time out from their legislative duties to fly to New York and show their subservience to Der Furor by angrily undermining the justice system they claim is a "kangaroo court" engaging in the "political persecution" of their blameless leader. Florida Representative Matt Gaetz went so far as to parrot Der Furor's notorious admonition to the extremist "Proud Boys" during the 2020 presidential debates, assuring his leader that House Republicans were “standing back and standing by.” 

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson - second in line of succession to the Presidency - made the pilgrimage to Manhattan to call the American system of justice "corrupt," and to whine about “this ridiculous prosecution that is not about justice, it’s all about politics.”

The list of Congressional Republicans who ignored their jobs (in several cases, missing votes in Congress) in favor of flocking to New York in support of Der Furor's plea for aid included: Representatves Matt Gaetz (FL), Lauren Boebert (CO), Andy Biggs (AZ), Mike Waltz (FL), Eli Crane (AZ), Andy Ogles (TN), Anna Paulina Luna (FL), Ralph Norman (SC), and House Freedom Caucus Chair Bob Good (VA), and Senators Rick Scott (FL), J.D. Vance (OH), Tommy Tuberville (AL), and Eric Schmitt (MO). Oddly enough, many of these are angling for a chance to be the Vice President in a potential second DF administration.

As if that weren't enough, three Republican Attorneys General - the highest ranking law enforcement officials of their states - made the trip to New York to rail against Der Furor's trial in a shameful undercutting of the rule of law they are sworn to uphold: Brenna Bird of Iowa, Steve Marshall of Alabama, and Alan Wilson of South Carolina.

I have decided to refer to these despicable characters collectively as Der Furor's Protective Society - a group of individuals who have forsaken their allegiance to the Constitution and the nation in favor of craven submission to a person who would never show them the allegiance and support he demands of them. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2024, is presented to Der Furor's Protective Society - a deluded group of elected officials who have sacrificed their dignity and honor on the altar of Der Furor's angry ambition.

Have a good day, and think carefully before you cast your vote this November. Be sure the people for whom you vote are more loyal to the Constitution than to an angry, vindictive wannabe dictator.

More thoughts coming tomorrow, with the first collection of cartoons for June. See you then.

Bilbo

P.S. - I wrote this post yesterday morning (May 30th), before the announcement of the across-the-board guilty verdict in Der Furor's trial. We should note that Der Furor's Protective Society has continued to rail against the justice system, although it has delivered a verdict based on hard evidence and testimony under oath ... two things notably absent in the grievance politics of the GOP and the MAGA world.