When You Read to The Very Last Paragraph ...

It's hard to keep up with the blizzard of royal decrees executive orders pouring out of the Brown House*. I predict that the only government agency that will remain fully staffed - if not plussed up - is the staff of the Federal Register, as the Orange Airhorn will want to make sure that all his big, beautiful, perfect pronouncements for the ages are published with the appropriate roll of digital drums and blare of digital trumpets to cement his place in history.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about today. I want to talk about the very last paragraph of Executive Order 14233 of March 6, 2025, "Establishment of the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and United States Digital Asset Stockpile" (about which I wrote yesterday, if you recall): 

"Sec. 5 (c) This order is not intended to, and does not, create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the United States, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person."

I tried to translate this into plain English, and came up with,

"This is my decree, and there's nothing you can do about it."

I bounced this translation off my daughter, who is fluent in several dialects of Federal Sanskrit, and she didn't agree. She suggested it was more likely a boilerplate statement intended to protect the government from any unintended consequences arising from implementation of the order, and suggested I check to see if it appeared in executive orders from other, less fascistic** administrations.

Naturally, I did.

I went back to the Federal Register and chose more-or-less at random President Biden's Executive Order 14127 of September 26, 2024, titled "Combating Emerging Firearms Threats and Improving School-Based Active-Shooter Drills," and discovered that it had the exact same final paragraph. 

Going back a bit further, I found Executive Order 13179 of December 7, 2000, "Providing Compensation to America’s Nuclear Weapons Workers," issued by President Clinton, the closing paragraph of which was almost identical, beginning with the words, "This Executive Order does not create any right or benefit, ..."  

I then thought about the last Executive Order that had (up to now) had any direct effect on me or my work: EO 12333, "United States Intelligence Activities," signed by President Ronald Reagan on December 4, 1981. As it happens, it has similar wording:

"3.5 Purpose and Effect. This Order is intended to control and provide direction and guidance to the Intelligence Community. Nothing contained herein or in any procedures promulgated hereunder is intended to confer any substantive or procedural right or privilege on any person or organization."

Well, damn.

It appears that my daughter's interpretation was correct, although - as my wife pointed out later - the wording also protects the government against blowback from the intended consequences of its decrees. And in any case, I think that my translation would be the one used by Der Furor's Wholly-Owned and Utterly Servile Department of Justice™ should the EOs be challenged in court.

Welcome to 1984, 41 years late.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* It used to be the White House, but with all the fecal sludge Der Furor is pouring out of it, I think Brown House is a better term nowadays.

** My term, not hers.