The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2025

Not without trepidation, we have entered the month of October, which does not augur any improvement over any of the previous nine months, but does offer us the opportunity to recognize new achievements in ass clownery. The competition remains as fierce as ever, yet the burden of selecting appropriate designees remains and must be met. Therefore, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets, we announce presentation of the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2025

"Border Czar"

Tom Homan

Der Furor's pugnacious "Border Czar," a full-throated champion of the crackdown on immigrants (and citizens caught up in its wide nets), and a key figure in the administration's massive deportation efforts, was recorded by undercover FBI agents in September of 2024 accepting $50,000 in cash in exchange for a promise of lucrative government contracts in a potential second administration led by Der Furor. 

The investigation of Mr Homan, which began during the Biden administration, was shut down by political appointees at the FBI and Justice Department last month. 

For his part, Mr Homan denied during a Fox News interview that he had done anything wrong, but did not deny accepting the cash, and White House deputy press secretary Abigail Jackson predictably declared the now-canceled federal criminal probe a “blatantly political investigation, which found no evidence of illegal activity.” She went on to claim that the investigation was concocted by Biden Justice Department appointees “to target President Trump’s allies.” FBI Director Kash Patel and Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche declared in a joint statement that investigators had found "no credible evidence of any criminal wrongdoing” by Homan and that “as a result, the investigation has been closed.”

It is, of course, entirely possible that the investigation of Mr Homan's alleged actions might have been dropped regardless of which political party was in power, but the decision to drop the investigation now gives at least the appearance of sweeping illegal activity under the rug.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for October, 2025, is Der Furor's Border Czar Tom Homan ... with an honorable mention to FBI Director Patel and Deputy Attorney General Blanche for quashing the investigation that could have resolved any question of wrongdoing on Mr Homan's part and thereby thickening the cloud of mistrust and abuse of power that is a hallmark of the current administration.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for more thoughts and the first of our traditional Halloween-inspired Cartoon Saturdays, kicking off with a salute to Frankenstein ... or, if you're a purist, to Frankenstein's monster. Whatever.

See you then.

Bilbo