I need some legal advice. Or maybe some law enforcement advice. Maybe I can ask Zipcode.
Is Justifiable Phonicide a punishable crime?
You know, phonicide. As in when you crush your telephone with a nine-pound sledge, drop it into the toilet, launch it on a high parabolic trajectory from your upstairs window (that's actually called defenestration), or put it in the driveway and roll your Gargantua X-5000 SUV back and forth over it a few times.
I need to know what the penalties are before I commit phonicide on every telephone in my house. This is likely to happen in the very near future because I am perilously close to the limits of my tolerance for inane political robo-calls. This level of tolerance is quite small to start with, but after receiving six of those calls yesterday ... that would be Sunday, the so-called day of rest ... I have officially had it.
Riddle me this, Batman: have you ever actually listened to one of these robo-calls? I didn't think so. I have never met anyone who didn't either screen them out with Caller ID or hang up on them after the telltale two-second bit of silence while the tape starts to spin. These calls are a politically useless and personally unwanted invasion of my privacy. It's bad enough that I have to see all this BS on television and listen to it on the radio...stay out of my phone!
Here is an open message to those who generate political robo-calls:
1. I don't care who approved your message. If you're calling my telephone, I didn't approve it and I don't want to hear it.
2. If you're calling to tell me how bad the other guy is, I especially don't want to hear it. If you expect me to listen to you, tell me why, exactly, I should vote for you instead of him.
3. I value my privacy. I don't give my home telephone number - and especially my cell phone number - to very many people. If I've chosen to give you my number, you can consider it a mark of respect and friendship. If you've scooped up my number from a database somewhere, I don't have the least interest in what you have to say. Don't even bother.
3. My phone number is listed in the National Do Not Call Registry. I have learned, to my sorrow, that the list has a large number of exceptions which allow various well-connected individuals and organizations to ignore my expressed wishes. Political campaigns are allowed to call me without my consent, as are charities, surveys, businesses with which I have an "existing business relationship," and debt collectors. Regardless of whether or not you have an exception, and particularly if you are a political campaigner, don't call.
4. Good telephones can be expensive. With the economy in the toilet (and, by the way, political robo-caller, what's your guy going to do about it?), I can't afford to smash them all the time. Help me live within my telephone replacement budget.
Don't leave me open to a charge of phonicide, justified or not.
If I haven't personally given you my number and my permission, don't call.
So there.
Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.
Bilbo
Ohhhh...they've really got you mad this time. Phonicide!
ReplyDeleteWe're close to committing that too, but our cordless set is too pricey to bash in :(
ReplyDeleteWow, 6 this far ahead of the election! I'm impressed. You, like me, are obviously on a list of people who refuse to blindly follow one party or the other, thus BOTH parties have you on their call list to badger.
ReplyDeleteHey, Gov Tom Ridge and a governor I didn't even recognize called ME this week on a robo call. I must rate something.
But don't take it out on the poor phone. Do what I do...the first time you get an actual human on the other end, insist they remove you from their call list because there is no way in H-E-double hockey sticks you will vote for thier candidate after the harassment you've received via robo calls. They might listen. I've gotten less calls this campaign season than the last one, where the daily record was 8 calls.
If your going to jail I'll be the one sitting right next to you darlin.
ReplyDeleteCould you also add the suffix "icide" to tv ads, mailings, people knocking on my door on a Sat. morning, etc.?
ReplyDeleteHere's a trick. If you don't care about tying up your phone line for a while, put the call on hold. I did this a week ago and the robocaller didn't have a timeout on it. I looked at the phone about an hour later and the light was still on. I picked it up and robo was still talking. So I put it back on hold. I tied up one of their outgoing lines for hours.
ReplyDeleteEven if the do have a working timeout, it will tie up one of their lines for a while. Payback.
Oh man! I feel your frustration. Not just about the phone calls but about all the political talk. It's everywhere this year. Not just the typical stuff like radio/tv/newspapers either.
ReplyDeleteJust last week, during (my 9 year old son's) field trip to Pioneer Days I hear this conversation from two fourth graders.
Kid one: Hey dude, so WHO you going for? McCain or Obama?
Kid two: Obama all the way man!
Kid one: “WHAT? WHY? Don’t you know if you vote for Obama he’s going to raise gas prices?”
*LOVE that kid's perception of the truth! I think he meant TAXES...
Kid two:”NO WAY!!!! I didn’t know that! But I’m still going for Obama because Mc-whatever his name is, is too old and creepy looking.”
*Kid's honesty.. gotta love it!
THEN last night at 8:35 (my son) says, “QUICK MOM!!! Change it to Nickelodeon. They’re going to announce the kid’s choice for Obama or McCain.”
Amanda - if you only knew...
ReplyDeleteAndrea - my problem also.
Katherine - how do I go about getting an actual human on the other end of the line? You must be special. Well, of course you are, but I mean for the callers, you know...
Fiona - maybe someone will send us a cake with a file in it...
Bandit - good idea. Done!
Mike - what an evil trick. No wonder I like you.
Twinkie - out of the mouths of babes comes...well...anyhow, thanks for coming by!
Do you think Mike would do that for us??lol
ReplyDeleteI've been sitting at the computer for about 5 minutes, and have already fielded 3 Robos. That's what we get for living in a Purple State, I guess...Hubz usually answers, and then waits long enough to see what the "key message" is. Then he'll holler down the stairs, "Honey, It's for you...Obama wants to talk to you about education," or "McCain wants to talk to you about gun control." The funniest, though, is when a "live" person calls. Hubz says, "I'm in the middle of dinner...give me your number and I'll call you back." The flustered person on the other line rarely knows what to do.
ReplyDeletephonicide, shmonicide.
ReplyDeleteWho cares? If I get to share a cell with Fiona, count me in!
I know about those annoying calls. We had one call & he claims he was doing a survey. He wanted to know who we are going to vote for this coming election & why? We just plain told him that it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. We do not wish to share our political views or choices with anyone & hung up! The robo calls are easy to detect because there is that slight delay in the line. That's when we hang up. Anyhow, it will all stop once this election is done. However the other charitable & marketing research thing will go on unfortunately.
ReplyDelete