Tyromancy

Through the years, people have used many different methods to predict the future. Mystics have gazed into crystal balls, studied tea leaves and the entrails of animals, watched the flight of birds, listened raptly to oracles, shuffled and analyzed tarot decks, and attempted to discern meanings in the mystical utterances of the Fed Chairman. I've heard of all of those, but I've never heard of this one - Tyromancy, the divination of the future through the study of cheese. Its practice evidently goes back at least to ancient Greece (the word derives from the Greek words turos (cheese) and manteia (divination)), and reached its height of influence during the Middle Ages, although tyromancy is seldom practiced today.

You can read more about this relatively obscure and unusual method of foretelling the future in this interesting article by Jennifer Billock, published in Saveur magazine last November.

It sort of pains me to know that the cheeseburgers and charcuterie platters I've devoured over time could have helped me plan better for the future, and as I think about the possibilities inherent in tyromancy, I have to wonder if the study of different cheeses might be suited for assessing political futures. For example, a foul-smelling cheese such as Limburger or Vieux Lille might be good for assessing the general direction and prospects of Der Furor and the GOP. Swiss cheese, being full of holes, could provide valuable information about future Republican economic ideas, while the study of very hard cheeses like Parmigiano Reggiano might provide clues to the GOP's evolving, ever more rigid social and religious policies. 

The future of the Democratic Party, on the other hand, might be more readable through the study of softer, more palatable and less malodorous cheeses like Brie.

Cheese as a sign of the future ... who knew? But, given the general cheesiness of our political classes, it's as good a barometer as any of things to come.

The next time someone comes to your door asking if you've heard the good news, now you can truthfully say you have.

Have a good day, and enjoy your next cheese platter for more than just how well the individual cheese types go with fruit, meats, and ... uh ... crackers.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo