The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2025

The last month of the year has arrived, and with it the need to select the final two ass clowns of 2025 (more if a special award becomes necessary). 

If you've read, watched, streamed, or heard the news over the last two weeks, you know that the level of noteworthy ass clownery has skyrocketed each month, making it extraordinarily difficult to select winners. Nevertheless, I opened this can of worms with the first Ass Clown Award back in 2011 (presented to Der Furor, believe it or not), and I'll continue to do my duty to shine the light of shame on deserving winners.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I present the award for

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2025

to

Federation Internationale

de

Football Association*

FIFA is the world governing body for the sport of football, or "soccer" as it's known in the United States. Until this year, the primary functions of FIFA were to encourage and standardize worldwide play of the sport and oversee the planning and execution of the World Cup championship every four years.

In 2026, the World Cup games will be held in the United States, Mexico, and Canada, and the ceremony to draw initial match assignments was held at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC, last week. This is normally an event of only minor interest (except to the national football teams, of course), but this year the event drew great attention because of its detour into shameless political point-scoring when FIFA President Gianni Infantino presented the first-ever "FIFA Peace Prize" to Der Furor.

It's no secret, of course, that Der Furor desperately wants a Nobel Peace Prize and has loudly proclaimed his desire and supposed qualifications for the award at every opportunity, taking credit for "ending" any number of "wars" in the last year (the number varies with his mood). The decision by Mr Infantino to invent his own "peace prize" and present it to his longtime friend was not only a transparent attempt to flatter a man widely known for his vanity and lust for praise and recognition, but also an investment in trying to minimize the negative impact of the administrations aggressive immigration control policies on attendance at and participation in the hugely profitable World Cup games. Der Furor, for his part, wasted no time in snatching up the medal and ribbon and hanging them around his own neck

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2025, is presented to the Federation Internationale de Football Association (FIFA)  (FIFA) and to its director, Gianni Infantino, for their attempt to curry favor with Der Furor with a meaningless award created only to appeal to his ego and endless desire for flattery.

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - this week with a Christmas theme.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

UPDATE: On Tuesday of this week, after I'd finished drafting this post, FairSquare, a London-based human rights nonprofit that focuses on sports, said it had filed ethics complaints alleging breaches of FIFA’s statutory duty to be politically neutral and requesting an investigation into Gianni Infantino’s "peace prize" award to Der Furor. Good luck with that.

B.

* In English, the International Federation of Association Football.