Musical Sunday

There's so much great music out there, and yet I find myself drawn to the many great song parodies that are current as the election approaches ... like this one, with apologies to The Drifters ...

I know a classic parody when I hear one!

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Boy, am I glad THIS month is almost over ... 

Israel’s Supreme Court ruled that ultraorthodox Jewish citizens of the country will no longer be exempt from mandatory military service; the Supreme Court has sided with a suit brought by January 6th rioters, ruling that the Department of Justice overstepped its authority when it charged them with "obstruction of an official proceeding;" President Biden and Der Furor squared off in the ugly and unsettling first presidential debate of the 2024 campaign; the Chief Education Officer of Oklahoma announced that all Oklahoma schools must immediately incorporate the Bible and the Ten Commandments in their curriculums; and from the Department of Did You Really Pay Money for That Study?, the Hawaii Tourism Authority's latest Visitor Satisfaction and Activity Survey results show that visitors’ experience on Maui have improved since the Aug. 8 wildfires.

After the presidential debate this past week, it's clear that only one person can fix our problems ... Superman!

Uh, oh ...

I wonder if John ever had problems like this back in his magician days ...

Who'd have thought I'd have something in common with Superman? ...

Even superheroes aren't immune from identity theft ...

Yeah, that would have been me ...

With great power of attorney comes great responsibility. We need more attorneys who can act responsibly ...

Superman: the golden years ...

The lineup ...

Texting while flying can be as dangerous as texting while driving ...

I've often wondered if that wasn't a drawback to the power of flight ...

And there you go - the final edition of Cartoon Saturday for the month of June. I hope it gave you a few laughs to help get over all the depressing news.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for an updated version of The Drifters' classic tune "Up on the Roof." See you then with more thoughts.

Bilbo

The Gish Gallop

I don’t usually post twice in a day, but this one needs to go out while it’s fresh.

I learned a new term this morning in the wake of the appalling spectacle of last night’s presidential debate: the Gish Gallop. 

The Gish Gallop is a rhetorical technique in which a debater attempts to overwhelm his or her opponent with a blizzard of arguments without regard for the accuracy or strength of those arguments, prioritizing quantity of verbiage over quality of argument. The term was coined in 1994 by anthropologist Eugenie Scott, who named it after American creationist Duane Gish and argued that Gish used the technique frequently when challenging the scientific fact of evolution.

The format of last night’s “debate” allowed Der Furor - unburdened by real-time fact checking and hammering at lightning speed at an opponent with a known stutter - to, in the immortal words of Steve Bannon, “flood the zone with shit” in the knowledge that he could not be effectively challenged. Sadly, all too many people will ignore … or even celebrate ,,, this shameless and ugly display of rhetorical cowardice, or forget it by the time the election rolls around.

Don’t be one of them. Don’t allow yourself to be trampled by the Gish Gallop.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2024

Well, friends, we've come to the end of another month of blistering heat, not made any more bearable by the gusts of superheated air coming from one political rally or another. I just wish there was a way to harness all that energy in the service of something useful.

But I digress.

It's time to close out our Ass Clown Awards for the month ... and the choice is as difficult as ever. But the more I reflect on the choice, the more it seems to me that there's an obvious winner.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today we present the award for

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2024

to - for the fourth time* - 

The American Electorate

At a time when most Americans don't seem to like either one of the leading candidates, it seems that all too many people are having a difficult time deciding whether to vote, much less who to vote for. I find this to be utterly incomprehensible, for as humorist David Sedaris put it in a meme that recently went viral ...  

American voters tend to have short memories that gloss over the bad parts of the past and focus on the ills of the present. 

They forget the years of inept leadership that diminished America's standing in the world, and the millions of our fellow citizens who died because of the mismanagement of the Covid pandemic. We clutch our pearls over President Biden's age while ignoring the fact that he is only three years older than his presumptive opponent. The media furrows its collective brow in concern when President Biden stutters or appears off his A Game, while ignoring the bizarre and nonsensical word salads, outright fabrications, and increasingly violent rhetoric of Der Furor. We fail to read and comprehend the import of Project 2025, which seeks to impose a rigidly conservative regime should the GOP win the upcoming election. We ignore the looming threat of government by a party intent on imposing a particular set of religious beliefs and values on all Americans. We diminish the importance of having a president with a documented record of delivering (or, at least, trying to deliver, however imperfectly) for all of our citizens, rather than one who is interested only in his own aggrandizement, the benefit of his wealthy supporters, and the admiration of his fellow autocrats.

To many who are weighing their votes today, quiet competence and decency in the service of all Americans are less important than bluster and buffoonery that play well to adoring crowds of the uninformed.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it is with profound sadness that I present the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to the collective winner of the Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award for June, 2024 - the American Electorate ... which may or may not choose squander the nation's future come November. My fingers are crossed.

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we visit the man who embodies "truth, justice, and the American Way" ... but is not, sadly, running for president. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* The three previous awards were: May, 2016 Right-Cheek; Ass Clown of the Year for 2016; and April, 2023 Left-Cheek.

Poetry Sunday

I found this poem online a while back, and it immediately reminded me of this photo ... the shadow of me and my (then-much-younger) granddaughter Leya many years ago as we watched the famous Pony Swim at Chincoteague Island. 

Two Shadows

by Maurice Manning

The little one belongs to her

and the taller one is mine, though I doubt 

she knows the shadows walking hand in hand 

ahead of us in the field 

are ours. If I walk behind her, mine, 

without a word, overshadows 

all of hers, a magic I think she likes.

And when I walk at her side again, 

the two of us return, a giant 

and his long-legged little helper, 

who's new enough to walking still 

she manages a wobble or swings 

a foot in picking the place to put it.

None of this beautiful, secret love 

will last. Other shadows will come 

along, and she'll see her own one day 

apart from mine. But before those fates 

arrive, I'm going to stretch my arms, 

and tipping and twirling, I'll show her how 

to turn her shadow into a bird 

and rest it softly in the tree, 

and afterward, when she sees a shadow, 

perhaps she'll think of birds or me.

My shadow is diminished, while those of my children and grandchildren grow. Give them your love and enjoy theirs while you can. And be sure to stay in the shade as much as possible on this devastatingly hot weekend.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Who dreams up these weeks, anyhow? ... 

A new law in Louisiana requires all public schools to display the Ten Commandments "in large, easily readable font” in all public schools, accompanied by a four-paragraph “context statement” describing how the Ten Commandments “were a prominent part of American public education for almost three centuries*;” Russian President Vladimir Putin paid a state visit to fellow despot Kim Jong-un in North Korea in his ongoing search for credible allies for his increasingly-despised nation; baseball legend Willy Mays, the "Say Hey Kid," died at age 93; President Biden, responding to GOP demands that he use executive action to solve the border crisis rather than expecting Congress to do its job, issued an executive order ... to which, of course, GOP members of Congress promptly objected; and in Southington, Connecticut, an employee of the Lock N Loaded Firearms shop accidentally shot himself while handling a gun he thought was unloaded ... because why should firearms safety get in the way of the joy of unregulated gun ownership and use? 

This week, we turn to the world of children's stories and visit the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe ... 

Real estate agents are good at obfuscatory language ...

I often wondered about that ...

It's important to have your place properly insulated ...

Your priorities for home style change as you get older ...

I remember it used to be fun to do that ...

I'd invest it differently, but to each his/her own ...

It's probably a copy of Project 2025 ...

Yes, that might have been a good sign ...

With housing prices being what they are, it definitely is annoying ...

As I get older, the flats look better and better ...

And that's it for this week's Cartoon Saturday - I hope it's not the ... uh ... sole source of humor for your day. I'd hate to feel like a heel.

Have a good day and a great weekend, in spite of the blazing heat. See you tomorrow for Poetry Sunday, when we'll think about shadows ... more thoughts then. 

Bilbo

* So were slavery and racism, but we're all over that, right?

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Ready ... set ... GO!! 

I think Der Furor's plans for the economy may have an ulterior motive ...

I'm not sure who came up with this ad, but they should ask for their money back ...

Well, what can it be, then? ...

I think Bill may need more than a correction notice ...

If this sign isn't at a bordello, a great advertising opportunity has been missed ...

No other comment needed ...

That sign obviously needs to be recalibrated ...

Well, Karen, I guess this sums it up ...

In case Amazon isn't hiring extra package delivery contractors ...

My gawd, they're lucky no one starved to death while trapped in their cars!! ...

I hope this collection of editorial and signage gems helped you get over the stress of the week. Don't forget that your contributions of weird signs and editorial burps are welcome ... take a picture of signs, scan print items, or do an oil painting and send it to Ol' Bilbo!

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday for more thoughts. See you then. 

Bilbo

Do You Feel a Draft?

I never thought I'd say this, but Der Furor's crowd has finally suggested something I could support. 

Recent reports indicate that some conservatives have suggested that mandatory "national service" may be necessary to ensure that our Armed Forces are sufficiently manned for the challenges posed by an uncertain world, the growing power of China, and an aggressively resurgent Russia. The loaded term "draft" isn't being used yet, but if Der Furor and his ultra-conservative advisors come to power, you'll be sure to hear it.

As much as it pains me to agree with anything our modern fascist wannabes advocate, I don't think some form of mandatory national service ... not just military, but perhaps also civil or social ... is necessarily a bad thing. Here's my reasoning ...

Growing up in a middle-class, almost completely white, neighborhood, I didn't have much routine daily contact with anyone not white and "Christian" until I went to college and, in 1973, graduated via ROTC with a BA in Linguistics and a commission as an Air Force Second Lieutenant. I spent the next 23 years moving from assignment to assignment, working alongside (and frequently for) blacks, women, asians, hispanics, gays, lesbians, "Christians," Jews, Muslims, atheists, and every combination thereof. It didn't take long for me to realize that everyone was pretty much the same under the skin. There were good and bad, smart and stupid, strong and weak people of every kind working side-by-side. Color, religion, and sexual preference were no guarantee of worth. Daily experience drove the lesson home.

And this is why I think some form of mandatory national service could be a good thing. It would force people to work with and for people who are different. It would give people an opportunity (which, sadly, some would resent) to learn that the despised "other" is a person, too.

Obviously, there would be problems with a mandatory national service program. While it might have a voluntary aspect, it would still cost money to administer ... how would we fund it? Should anyone be able to refuse mandatory military service in a future draft? Who? How could it be enforced? What types of service other than military should be considered? What legal and Constitutional roadblocks might prevent such a program?

I think we should find out the answers. It's time for people to realize that citizenship involves not just rights, but responsibilities.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

Today is Fathers' Day, and it's only appropriate that we honor our fathers with Dan Fogelberg's salute that never fails to bring tears to my eyes ... 

Not all fathers are as good as the one I was lucky enough to have ... he left us nine years ago and I miss him every day. If you have a good father, today would be a good day to let him know you love him, before it's too late.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

It's been a long week, and we surely do need an infusion of cartoons to help get over it ... 

President Biden's son Hunter was convicted by a Delaware jury on weapons possession charges ... as expected, Republicans found a way to claim the conviction as proof of the President's abuse of power; Attorney General Merrick Garland was charged (in a party-line vote) with contempt of Congress for refusing to respond to a Congressional subpoena ... unlike Congressman Jim Jordan, who has ignored a Congressional subpoena related to his involvement in the 2021 insurrection for 760 days; the Supreme Court unanimously rejected an attempt by antiabortion activists to prevent the prescription and sale of the abortifacient drug mifepristone*; New York police arrested a man in Queens after recovering a 9mm Glock handgun, nine loaded magazines, heavy body armor, handcuffs, NYPD uniform items, two axes, several knives, a stun gun, a weighted whip and an expandable baton from his vehicle; and in Salt Lake City, police are searching for a $234,000 Lamborghini stolen from the city airport after its owner left it in a short-term parking lot, unlocked, and with the keys still in the ignition. 

This week, since the GOP is evidently planning to replace our current form of government with an absolute monarchy, I thought a collection of cartoons about kings, queens, and the pleasures of royalty (at least for the royals) might be appropriate ... 

It's good to be the king, especially because you get to sit in that neat chair. First up, a few cartoons about thrones ...

He must have bought this one from La-Z-Monarch ...

It's never good to overlook things like that ...

The royal picnic can't have just any folding chair ...

It may be ergonomic, but it's not the same thing as the traditional model ...

Moving on from the throne room ...

He may be a while ...

Those pesky homeowners' association rules ...

Remote working works for royalty, too ...

Divide and conquer has a long and storied history ...

It may not be what the realm needs, but if the king wants it ...

Hear ye, hear ye ... the cartoons for this week are hereby completed, and thou are commanded to have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts shall be forthcoming when the royal musicians arrive on the morrow to celebrate Musical Sunday.

Bilbo

* Although they sidestepped the real issue by ruling only that the organizations bringing the suit lacked standing to do so. The issue will keep coming back like a radically religious hydra.

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2024

We're almost halfway through June, and it's taken this long to get to the first opportunity to recognize a deserving ass clown for the month. Let's get to it ...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the tinfoil and toilet paper crown of 

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2024

is presented to

The Authors and Architects of Project 2025

Project 2025 is a presidential transition operation organized and led by the the Heritage Foundation, a right-wing think tank, to create a government ready to step into power immediately if Der Furor returns to office on Jan. 20, 2025*. 

The complete agenda for Project 2025 is laid out in a 900-page document titled "Mandate for Leadership: The Conservative Promise." It envisions a government completely staffed with conservative activists, dedicated to conservative principles, and wholly focused on implementing the aims of a conservative president ... even when those aims are at variance with the Constitution. In 30 chapters divided into five sections, it presents a plan to completely replace non-political, professional government employees with well-vetted conservative activists chosen not for their technical skill, but for their absolute dedication to carrying out the orders of a president with unlimited powers.

Conservative Republican efforts to lay the groundwork for quickly overturning more than 200 years of American government and jurisprudence have been underway for decades, stacking state governments with conservatives, gerrymandering congressional districts to ensure conservative candidates win regardless of the ballot totals, and filling state and federal benches with deeply conservative judges. This long-term spadework has positioned the GOP to take complete control of federal, state, and local governments and the judiciary, effectively cementing conservative rule of the nation for generations, regardless of the desires of citizens as expressed in free and fair elections.

You may recall that the GOP did not publish a formal platform for the 2020 election, declaring simply that "... the Republican Party has and will continue to enthusiastically support the President’s America-first agenda [and] that the 2020 Republican National Convention will adjourn without adopting a new platform until the 2024 Republican National Convention." As that 2024 convention approaches, Project 2025 uses the candidacy of a popular**, yet fundamentally flawed candidate to implement the most radical change in the direction*** of the nation since Franklin Roosevelt pulled the nation from the Great Depression with the New Deal. You can read a good summary of the Project 2025 effort by the PBS News Hour here. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the June Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award is presented to the authors and architects of Project 2025 - a project that might more accurately be titled, "Blueprint for Eliminating the Constitution and Returning to the Glory Days of the 1930s without Having to Deal with That Annoying and Time-Consuming Amendment Process and the Interference of Those Pesky Voters." If you think a government staffed by sycophants drawn from the bottom of the competency barrel is a good thing, your time has come.

Have a good day and be sure to come back tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday - in "honor" of Der Furor and those who would put him on a throne - takes a look at kings. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* An event generally referred to as "The Apocalypse."

** For the life of me, I can't understand why this foul creature, bereft of dignity, compassion, education, and common sense, is so popular. I just don't understand a large chunk of the American population.

*** Forward, into the 1930s!

Poetry Sunday

Ready to stick a tentative toe into a beautiful poem? Look no further ... 

Your Feet

by Pablo Neruda

When I cannot look at your face

I look at your feet.

Your feet of arched bone,

your hard little feet.

I know that they support you,

and that your gentle weight

rises upon them.

Your waist and your breasts,

the doubled purple 

of your nipples,

the sockets of your eyes

that have just flown away,

your wide fruit mouth

your red tresses,

my little tower.

But I love your feet

only because they walked

upon the earth and upon

the wind and upon the waters,

until they found me.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Excuse me while I look for the reset button on this week ... 

Hunter Biden's trial on felony charges of weapon possession as a drug user continued in Delaware as his father - the President - refused to intervene or comment on the proceedings*; Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas updated his financial disclosure report, disclosing - among other things - a 2019 trip to Bali paid for by a GOP megadonor, while other justices reported sizable income from a wide variety of sources; Boeing scored a long-hoped-for win when its Starliner spacecraft successfully launched from Cape Kennedy and docked at the International Space Station; President Biden and European leaders visited the beaches of Normandy in France to honor the 80th anniversary of the Operation Overlord landings during World War II; and in (where else?) Florida, a woman was arrested after calling the local sheriff's office to report herself for trying to steal a car from a dealership so she “could do it legally” ... she told responding deputies she was being trained to steal a car in a "game of Black Ops," but had called the police to make her carjacking "legal."

It's another random cartoon week ... I promise to go back to themed cartoons next week.

We lead off with two looks at medieval warfare; first, a cautionary tale about properly training your troops to use new weapons ...

And second, the importance of actually reading the instructions ...

Well, we've tried everything else ...

Me, too! ...

You can overthink things ...

It's a very well-kept secret ...

When the FBI gets around to searching the garage at Mar-a-Lago ...

Mine are, too ...

 

As I might have guessed ...

First contact will probably look like this ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday comes to June.

Bilbo

* Strangely, Republicans who have howled loudly and nonstop about Biden's alleged ruthless legal persecution of Der Furor have ignored the President's hands-off approach to the trial of his own son ... hmmm ...