Friday, April 16, 2021

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


And away we go ...

Sometimes, your confessor just needs to know the basics ...


I've heard they're a real blast ...


Buy those Thin Mints or else ...


If you need to bring your own goat to the yoga class, you need this convenient accessory ...


I'm sure this would make disembarking passengers more more quickly ...


Good advice ...


I wonder if it's covered by their medical insurance ...


Pace yourself, Hannibal ...


Somehow, I do not find this at all surprising ...


The editor who decided on this layout is probably now flipping burgers at the nearest food court ...


And there you go ... another collection of editorial and signage whoppers to take your mind off mass murders, Russian meddling, and the latest asinine antics of congressional Republicans. I hope it helps.

Don't forget to remember how the valet looks, and to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday for a whale of a time. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Sunday, April 11, 2021

Poetry Sunday


This is an interesting poem whose idea has been the basis for a great many eerie stories over the years ...

What if you slept... 
by Samuel Taylor Coleridge 

What if you slept
And what if
In your sleep
You dreamed
And what if
In your dream
You went to heaven
And there plucked a strange and beautiful flower
And what if
When you awoke
You had that flower in your hand
Ah, what then?

What, indeed?

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, April 10, 2021

Cartoon Saturday


The beatings will continue until morale improves ...

Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh and husband of Britain's Queen Elizabeth II, died on Friday at age 99; in the nation's latest mass shooting, a Texas man murdered one person and injured five others at his workplace; in response to a rash of mass murders, President Biden issued a series of executive orders trying to plug holes in the nation's gun laws; in Arizona, Governor Greg Ducey signed a bill to preemptively protect the state's gun owners from any future federal gun control laws; and the University of Kentucky emailed acceptance letters to 500,000 high school seniors, congratulating them on their admission to a program that usually accepts 35 to 40 students a year ... the university has apologized for the "technical error."

Yep, it's another week of random cartoons; I couldn't decide on a theme for the week, so here we are ...

You'd think the x-ray vision would have made this unnecessary, but ...  


Best visual pun I've seen in a long time ...


They either play hard rock for typesetters or heavy, but unbalanced metal ...


They've been a nuisance longer than you think ...


I'm not sure it would work, but it's a novel approach ...


Literally, yes ...


There's a holy in a pipey ...


Time to rearrange the bookstores ...


High-tech surgery ...


Where the elevator music comes from ...


Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns. See you then.

Bilbo

Friday, April 09, 2021

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2021


I know that you're tired of hearing me whine about how difficult it is to single out individual ass clowns for recognition, but I'm afraid I'm going to whine again.

There are so many superbly qualified ass clowns clamoring for attention that I actually considered presenting a one-time blanket award with a blank space in which each of you could fill in your ass clown of choice. But that's an abdication of my responsibility ... I created this award, and (except for the Ass Clown of the Year for whom you vote) I should bite the proverbial bullet and make the tough choice.

And so it is that I have put on my hip waders and my shoulder-length rubber gloves, waded into and reached deep within the churning cesspool of ass clownery to draw forth a new dishonoree. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers,

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award
for
April, 2021


is presented - for the second time* - to

Representative Matt Gaetz
(R, FL-1)


Grandstanding gasbag Matt Gaetz already ranks as one of the least productive, if noisiest, members of Congress. If legislative activity were measured by theatrical stunts** and appearances on Fox News***, Mr Gaetz would be a modern day Franklin Delano Roosevelt; however, such metrics are not appropriate for an odious bomb-thrower whose interest lies less in advocating actual policies than in blocking anything proposed by President Biden while worshiping at the festooned altar of Der Furor.

In addition to his dismal legislative record, Mr Gaetz has now made himself the subject of a Department of Justice investigation into his alleged relationship with a 17-year-old girl - a relationship he denies. The investigation began last summer and is looking into whether Gaetz had a sexual relationship with an underage girl and paid for her to travel with him, and whether he violated federal sex trafficking laws. Beyond this, Mr Gaetz has also become an object of derision and suspicion after leaving a "weird" voice mail message on the phone of a Florida Democratic state representative

In an already-undistinguished field of Republican members of Congress marked by such low-wattage luminaries as Marjorie Taylor Greene† and Lauren Boebert††, Matt Gaetz goes all-out to represent his constituents not as a principled, effective legislator, but as an oleaginous buffoon who makes a joke of public service.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, Florida Representative Matt Gaetz is designated as the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2021.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo 



 

†† Stay tuned, she'll surely have her own award before long.


Sunday, April 04, 2021

Musical Sunday


One of my favorite songs from The Seekers ...


Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

Saturday, April 03, 2021

Cartoon Saturday


Welcome to the first Saturday in April ...

The emotional and dramatic trial of former police officer Derek Chauvin in the death of George Floyd continues in Minneapolis; in the third mass shooting in just over two weeks, four persons - including a child - were murdered in Orange, California; President Biden unveiled his massive infrastructure plan, which was immediately rejected and criticized by Republicans who have never unveiled a plan of their own; Venice has imposed a ban on giant cruise ships anchoring in its historic center in an attempt to protect the city's threatened underpinnings; and in Switzerland the Swiss Army, having mastered knives, has decided to test new underwear for its female soldiers, who up to now have been required to wear men's underwear when in uniform.

Let's start the month with a collection of random cartoons ...

You'll get this if you're of my generation ...  


One of the bazillions of cartoons about the unfortunate blocker of the Suez Canal ...


We all know about mutations, now ...


You know it's coming ...


Memories of my previous life in the dating pool ...


Sometimes, a bit more formality isn't so bad ...


I think about this every time I hear one of those prolific medicine ads on TV ...


It took longer back then ... so to speak ...


Hope he makes it by tomorrow ...


Bwa, ha, HAAAAA ...


Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns.

Bilbo

Friday, April 02, 2021

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


It's a new month, and a new collection of great examples of print and signage errors ...

There really are some wonderful signs in the Orient. Here's Exhibit A ...


And here's Exhibit B ...


He makes a good point ...


Geez, I paid a lot more than that for mine over the years ...


Do you soak in that tub or marinate? ... 


I hate vague directions ...


Someone probably got a PhD in Economics for that ...


Mitch McConnell is suspected, although why he'd steal a book he'll never read is beyond me ...


Not for sale to Catholics, Jews, Muslims, or Buddhists ...


I should hope so ...


And there you have it, friends, the first collection of editorial and signage ya-ha's for April. I hope you enjoyed them. As always, if you run across a good example, be sure to send it to me!

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Sunday, March 28, 2021

Poetry Sunday


As the world gets warmer with the coming of spring and the promise of summer, here's a poem that reminds me of the pleasant evenings of youth, before all those adult responsibilities spoiled it all ...

Renaming the Planets 
by Bill Glose 

Backs on pier’s cool planks, fingers
intertwined, my girlfriend and I
gaze into forever as comets
tear open the sky, bright streaks
winking like distant fireflies.
Beyond them, a dwarf planet sulks
in its orbit. Einstein said nothing
could outrun physics’ laws;
even time must bend to fit its rules.
Yet scientists once declared Earth
center of our universe;
earlier still, that it was flat.
Evolution of what is certain
proves nothing is absolute,
not even a Rockwell scene
of young lovers beside
a lake, waiting for the future
to arrive from heaven.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

Saturday, March 27, 2021

Cartoon Saturday


Geez, I thought this month was never going to end ...

GOP lawyer Sidney Powell responded to a defamation lawsuit filed by Dominion Voting Systems by claiming that "no reasonable person" would have believed her accusations of fraud; President Biden defended his border policy in the first formal news conference of his presidency; the Suez Canal remains blocked by a gigantic container ship which ran aground and jammed diagonally across the waterway, blocking all passage of ships in one of the world's most heavily-traveled canals; at least five people have been killed and enormous damage caused by tornadoes that ripped across five southern states on Thursday; and in New York, an auto repair shop paid the final wages to a departing employee by dumping $915 in oil-soaked pennies - 91,500 of them - in the man's driveway.

This week, in honor of the birthday this past Monday of famous mime Marcel Marceau, how about a collection of cartoons featuring mimes? ...

There's one born every minute ...  


This ought to be easy ...


What else would a mime put on a bumper sticker? ...


When mimes walk dogs ...


Mime funeral, part one ...


Mime funeral, part two ...


Somehow, I don't think they've tried that approach ...


When mimes send SMS's ...


Not everyone should try podcasting ...


I think most parents would wish for that one ... 


Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo