The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2026

As July wheezes down to its end and we look forward to winter's cold rather than summer's blazing heat, it's time once again to heap scorn on yet another deserving ass clown. I've thought about it long and hard, and have finally unfurrowed my brow and made my choice.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we hereby recognize 

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2026

and the award goes to

Secretary of Homeland Security

Markwayne Mullin

Former Senator Markwayne Mullin was named Homeland Security Secretary this past March to replace the scandal-ridden Kristi Noem*, who had become an embarrassment and a liability in the position.

Mr. Mullin did not have the usual qualifications to run an organization with the responsibilities of DHS** - he did not come from a border state, lacked deep knowledge of immigration policy, did not have a background in counterterrorism, never served in the military or in law enforcement, and did not work on any of the congressional committees that directly oversee DHS and immigration. But he had two qualities valued above all others in the current regime: absolute loyalty to Der Furor; and the tough-talking, high-testosterone attitude required to compete with Secretary of Defense (not War) Pete Hegseth and lead the masked, heavily-armed bullies of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Mr Mullin passed the testosterone audition when, during a Senate hearing in November of 2023, he threatened to fight Teamsters Union president Sean O'Brien, nearly leading to a brawl before the committee chairman, Bernie Sanders, urged him to calm down, reminding him that he was a U.S. Senator. 

Mr Mullin has moved with full energy to carry out Der Furor's anti-immigrant policies, working to meet the daily arrest quotas set by Gilded House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller while steadfastly justifying the number of deaths attributed to trigger-happy ICE agents. He has also inserted himself into GOP attempts to undermine confidence in the nation's elections, warning state election officials that they could lose funding or be investigated if they fail to comply with Der Furor’s election security demands ... almost all of which constitutional law experts agree are unconstitutional. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, testosterone-fueled Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne "Stand your butt up, then" Mullin is the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2026. In addition, he earns a score of 2,500,000 on the Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale. He should go back to running his plumbing business and ramping up his testosterone with more MMA fights rather than fights with people testifying before Congress.

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for a Cartoon Saturday salute to the original giant horse's ass. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* A two-time Ass Clown Award winner herself: May 2025 Left Cheek and March 2026 Right Cheek (shared).

** As if Kristi Noem did.

Thursday Trees

Trees. See them now, before the next wildfire ...

#1 - Enjoy a nice, shady walk ...

#2 - I wonder which way the prevailing wind blows ...

#3 - 

#4 - 

#5 - I wonder if he's related to #2 ...

#6 - 

#7 - I wonder if there's a story in how that top formed ...

#8 - Chorus line ...

#9 - Reminds you of the central aisle of a cathedral, doesn't it?

#10 - No, you can't have that boulder ... it's MINE!!

Have a good day and protect the trees. We'll keep celebrating them here until Mike's back up and running. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Eric Hoffer, Der Furor, and MAGA

On Saturday we will celebrate the birthday of Eric Hoffer, the man remembered as "The Longshoreman Philosopher." 

Longtime readers of this blog know that I am a huge fan of Mr Hoffer's work, in particular his classic 1951 book The True Believer, which described the growth and evolution of mass movements and the psychology that drives their adherents. I've written several times over the years about the lessons he has to teach us, most recently in my post from April, 2018, titled "Eric Hoffer and Donald Trump."

I won't reiterate that earlier post here, but I encourage you to go back and read it in view of the situation in which we find ourselves eight years later. I also encourage you to read more of Mr Hoffer's work, which is very readable, offers profound insights into the human condition, and goes a long way toward explaining the appeal of Der Furor to the MAGA mass movement he has created. As he wrote in The True Believer (and I quoted in my earlier post),

"It is the true believer's ability to 'shut his eyes and stop his ears' to facts that do not deserve to be either seen or heard which is the source of his unequaled fortitude and constancy. He cannot be frightened by danger nor disheartened by obstacles nor baffled by contradictions because he denies their existence ... it is the certitude of his infallible doctrine that renders the true believer impervious to the uncertainties, surprises, and the unpleasant realities of the world around him."

It would be interesting to know what Eric Hoffer would make of the MAGA movement as it has developed. I'm sure he could get another book out of it.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

The Smell of Obsession

During our ballroom dancing days, my wife regularly used a perfume called "Obsession." The name made sense to me, because Obsession was one of the most amazingly alluring scents I've ever smelled. She doesn't wear it very often now, probably because it tends to make me overly amorous.

Nowadays, though, obsession has another smell, and it's less an aroma than a foul stench. 

In a prime-time speech from the Gilded House last Thursday, Der Furor whined and complained about elections that he doesn't win ... his obsession with losing the 2020 election and his desperate attempts to rig future elections in his favor puts Captain Ahab's obsession with killing the white whale to shame. He's obsessed with having his name on things (the renamed airport in Fort Lauderdale, for instance*), with being surrounded by the trappings of wealth and luxury, with being able to enjoy slavish devotion of an army of yes-persons who will never tell him he's wrong. He's obsessed with having a new Air Force One that meets his standards of grandeur, if not the Air Force and Secret Service standards of safety and security. He's obsessed with tariffs which, used both for economic and vengeance reasons, have thrown the world economy into chaos. He's obsessed with monetizing the presidency, taxpaying citizens be damned.

Der Furor is not the only obsessive in Washington, of course. 

Consider Secretary of Defense (not War) Pete Hegseth, who is pathologically obsessed with an almost comical image of hypermasculine militarism rather than sound force management of the force and careful strategic advice to a president who desperately needs it, but nevertheless ignores it when given ... which, nowadays, isn't often.

Consider Stephen Miller, who is obsessed with ridding the country of immigrants, legal or not, and Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin, who is only too eager to help him do it.

Consider Robert F. Kennedy, whose obsession with ludicrous health ideas and the eradication of vaccines has led to a resurgence of diseases long thought eliminated.

Consider Elon Musk, the world's first trillionaire, whose obsession with slashing government waste has crippled vital programs upon which the American people depend, damaged valuable international programs, and wrecked broad swaths of a once-functioning government.

Obsession. It's no longer a delightful perfume ... it's the ugly stench of an incompetent government.

You may be interested in this article by Maureen Dowd of the New York Times on the topic.

Have a good day, and wear a mask to help you get past the stench of Der Furor's incompetence. Too bad you can't wear a mask on your brain, too.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* You may have seen that United Airlines plans to offer free flight changes to passengers who object to Der Furor's name on their destination. The change in policy came after angry customers flooded the airport’s online contact form with complaints after the airport was renamed. As you might suspect, the airline now says that's not true ... United is evidently less worried about running afoul of Der Furor than about responding to angry customers.

Monday Mountains

New week, new mountain vistas for your peace of mind. Where I have the actual location, it's noted ...

#1 - 

#2 - 

#3 - The John Muir Wilderness, California - 

#4 - in the Sierra Nevadas, California - 

#5 - church with alpine background, Bavaria, Germany - 

#6 - Tatra Mountains, Poland - 

#7 - Tolmie Peak, Cascade Range - 

#8 - Triglav National Park, Slovenia - 

#9 - Val Gardena, Italy - 

#10 - The Weisshorn, Switzerland - 

Have a good day. Let the mountains relax you, and inspire you to great things.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

I suppose it's a sign of advancing age, but it seems that I look forward to bedtime a lot more than I used to, and for different reasons.

In Praise of My Bed

by Meredith Holmes

At last I can be with you!

The grinding hours 

since I left your side!

The labor of being fully human, 

working my opposable thumb, 

talking, and walking upright.

Now I have unclasped 

unzipped, stepped out of.

Husked, soft, a be-er only, 

I do nothing, but point 

my bare feet into your 

clean smoothness

feel your quiet strength 

the whole length of my body.

I close my eyes, hear myself

moan, so grateful to be held this way.

There was a time, long ago, when I praised my bed for other things ... but here we are.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Monday Mountains brings your alpine fix. See you then!

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

I think I need a drink. Make it a double. No ... just run an IV from the bar.

Following the sudden death of South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, the state's governor appointed his sister Darline - who has no national-level political experience - to serve out the rest of his term; Secretary of Defense (not War) Pete Hegseth announced that military personnel over 30 years of age will now be tested for the adequacy of their testosterone level; in a prime-time speech from the Gilded House on Thursday, Der Furor attempted to prove his obsession with election tampering ... unfortunately, his offered "proof" actually undercut his stale arguments, and many news outlets declined to air his speech; Acting Secretary of the Navy Hung Cao has declined to discipline a pilot from the Navy's Blue Angels demonstration team who flew so low over a Pensacola Beach, Florida, crowd that beach chairs, tents and umbrellas were sent flying; and in South Korea, a man faces criminal prosecution for cheating on a fire engineer licensing exam by using AI-powered glasses.

This week, a collection of cartoons about being stranded on a desert island ... which, given the news lately, looks like a pretty good deal.

Somebody's been there a while ...

This would be what happened to me ...

I'm not sure I'd worry about it, but I don't always get a vote ...

I rather doubt it makes much difference ...

Uh, oh ...

Stranded in the social media/GoFundMe era ...

Trust this regime to figure out a way to monetize the situation ...

Boy, is that the truth ...

Well, it seems like a good location for a bridezilla film ...

I wonder if there's space for me to move in ...

And there you go - another collection of cartoons for your weekly humor fix ... I hope it helps.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for a warm and cozy Poetry Sunday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Ah, yes ... another opportunity to plumb the depths of editorial and signage weirdness! Let's get it on!

Hmmm ...

Uh ... I think I'll pass ...

Out of the frying pan, into the fire ...

I'll take the unskilled mushrooms - they're probably cheaper ...

Anything I could say would probably get me into trouble, so I'll just leave this one here ...

Something tells me the manager didn't major in math ...

I need to see the other participants before I commit ...

I believe I'll go next door ...

I know the price of cheese is going up, but do they need to be so blatant about it?

Speaking as a professional emcee and event announcer, I think it's pretty obvious that you shouldn't use a microphone while you're hip-deep in water ...

Have a good day, and don't use electrical devices in water. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns.

Bilbo

Thursday Trees

As summer's heat drags on, we love our trees even more for the welcome shade they provide as well as the sheer beauty of their presence. Welcome back to the temporary home of Thursday Trees!

#1 - 

#2 - Have a seat!

#3 - Another great place for a bench, eh? 

#4 - 

#5 - 

#6 - 

#7 - Time to sit down, again ...

#8 - 

#9 - Plenty of shade and plenty of benches ...

#10 - One more shady spot to take a load off your feet ...

Trees ... so much more than lumber and paper. Hug a tree today!

Have a good day - preferably in the shade - and come back tomorrow for more Great Moments in Editing and Signage - more thoughts then.

Bilbo