The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2026

While thinking about who to dishonor with today's award, I was reminded of Aragorn's line from J.R.R. Tolkien's classic story "The Fellowship of the Ring" - 

"Winter is nearly gone. Time flows on to a spring of little hope."

Winter is, indeed, nearly gone (or so we hope), and spring offers hope of better weather, if not of a better  government defined by morality, honesty, and competence. And to illustrate the loss of hope, we award the tinfoil and toilet paper crown of

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2026

to

Secretary of State

Marco Rubio

This is the second award for Mr Rubio, who was our Right Cheek Ass Clown in March of 2025.  As I wrote at the time, he was confirmed by a vote of 99-0 by senators convinced that he could be as competent a Secretary of State as Der Furor was likely to accept. Sadly, he has failed to clear even the most modest bar of competence and dignity as our nation's most senior diplomat.

Today's award is based largely on Mr Rubio's performance at the annual Munich Security Conference last week, in which he continued to support the administration's embarrassingly ugly white Christian nationalist approach to foreign affairs. In his address, he continued to echo Der Furor's endless screed about the ruin of western civilization by the evil of immigration, conveniently skipping the fact that his family immigrated to the U.S. from Cuba in 1956, and instead emphasizing his family's roots in eighteenth-century Spain ... a suitably European origin story rather than a dirty third-world one.

Once a respected figure on the national and international stage, Mr Rubio - like so many others who have hitched their wagon to Der Furor - has become a mere stooge contributing to the precipitous decline in our image and standing in the world. Whatever the lofty, yet empty, words mouthed by the Secretary of State in the service of Der Furor, we have become a laughingstock in world capitols, and have squandered the goodwill and friendship we have earned over many decades of competent governance.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2026, is Secretary of State Marco Rubio, yet another man who has squandered his dignity and honor in the service of a president and a philosophy unworthy of his talents.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns. See you then.

Bilbo

The USA in Volleyball Jerseys

We spent the Presidents' Day* weekend watching our granddaughter and her team compete in the Capital Hill Volleyball Classic. It was the usual three days of excitement and ear-splitting noise, marked at one point by the high-speed volleyball I took to the side of head that bent my glasses out of shape, ensuring that the action was more of a blur than usual. We cheered our team, ate overpriced concession food, and generally had a good time doing the grandparental thing.

But I was struck by one thing that says a great deal about the America we're losing, despite the empty slogans about making it great again - volleyball jerseys.

Each player wears the team jersey with her number and last name on the back ... and those names say a lot about what the United States of America used to stand for. 

Only in the United States would you see amateur athletes with names representing every conceivable national origin serving together on one team. Irish names, African names, Oriental names, English and German names, Hispanic names, Indian names, Italian names ... you name it**. The players themselves represented a racial color palette that ran from the whitest white to the blackest black, and everything in between - all united in an effort to win the game. And those of us on the sidelines cheered on those players regardless of their name, color, or origin - because we're all part of one team, and we support each other.

And that's what we're losing as Der Furor and his racist and misogynistic followers attempt to reshape the nation into something it was never intended to be.

Just a thought for a sad time, inspired by volleyball jerseys.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* A national holiday set aside each year to honor presidents worth honoring, which eliminates Der Furor right out of the box.

** Sorry.

Ass Clown Special Award

I find it necessary once again to present an out-of-cycle special award for ass clownery above and beyond the call of intelligence and common sense. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, without further ado, I announce this

Ass Clown Special Award

to

Attorney General Pam Bondi

Last Thursday, Attorney General Bondi grudgingly appeared to testify at a meeting of the House Judiciary Committee. Such appearances are intended to give members of Congress the opportunity to question various government officials about the activities of their departments, and for those officials to provide information Congress can use for its oversight and legislative responsibilities.

Her appearance was a disgraceful circus that demeaned both Congress and Ms Bondi and continued the present administration's emphasis on making the United States a laughingstock in front of the world.

She exhibited complete contempt for Congress*, relying on childish insults** and juvenile body language and refusing to answer any question she didn't like. You can watch the whole disgusting performance in the C-SPAN recording here, but probably the best coverage of her ludicrous clown show was done by the nation's editorial cartoonists, who probably thought they'd died and gone to heaven ...

I am, quite uncharacteristically, at a loss for the words to adequately describe the shame and embarrassment I feel as an American citizen at the behavior of the nation's most senior justice official. There can be no excuse for such a dismal performance. And I'm hardly the only one who feels that way, as this marvelous piece by John Pavlovitz proves.

I'm done, with Pam Bondi and the entire juvenile, arrogant, utterly despicable administration that has inflicted her and her like on our once-great nation.

Have a good day, and don't expect anything resembling respect for justice and the rule of law from this administration and its lapdogs.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* In the interest of full disclosure, I have contempt for Congress, too, but then I'm not the Attorney General.

** She came equipped with a huge binder full of them, indexed by Member of Congress, and had her assistants feeding her zinger lines on cards at appropriate times.

Poetry Sunday

Because it's Valentine's Day weekend, I thought we'd stick with the "love" theme and look for a good poem on the topic. There are, of course, countless thousands of poems on the topic of love and romance, and it's not easy to single out one particular one, but I've gone for a somewhat unusual choice, the lyrics to this marvelous song by Leonard Cohen ... you can watch the video here.

Dance Me to the End of Love

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin 

Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in 

Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove 

Dance me to the end of love 

Dance me to the end of love 

Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone 

Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon 

Show me slowly what I only know the limits of 

Oh dance me to the end of love 

Dance me to the end of love 

Dance me to the wedding now, oh dance me on and on 

Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long 

We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above 

Dance me to the end of love 

Dance me to the end of love 

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born 

Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn 

Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn 

Dance me to the end of love 

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin 

Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in 

Touch me with your naked hand, touch me with your glove 

Dance me to the end of love 

Dance me to the end of love 

Dance me to the end of love

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Love is in short supply in this country nowadays. Do your part to keep it from being sacrificed on the altar of angry nativism.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

As Dorothy Parker would have asked, "What fresh Hell is this?" ...

The airport at El Paso, Texas, was shut down briefly on Wednesday as Border Patrol agents used a laser weapon to shoot down a suspected drug cartel drone that may actually have been a mylar party balloon; Attorney General Pam Bondi "testified" before the House Judiciary Committee in a performance marked with insults directed at committee Democrats and evasion of difficult questions, and referred to a printed list of Epstein File documents searched by Washington Representative Pramila Jayapal - a stunning abuse of personal privacy; in an executive order signed this week, Der Furor directed the Department of Defense to arrange long-term purchase agreements with coal-fired power plants and prioritize the “preservation and strategic utilization” of “coal-based energy assets;” North Korean "Supreme Leader" Kim Jong Un appears to be grooming his daughter Kim Ju Ae as his successor to lead the Hermit Kingdom; and the prize for Best Headline of the Week goes to this CBS News report: "CBP Officer Faces Federal Charges over Allegations He Harbored an Unauthorized Immigrant Who Was Also His Girlfriend and Niece."

Today is Valentine's Day, and so what could be more appropriate than a collection of cartoons about love and marriage?

Priorities are important ...

Awwww ...

It does sometimes work out that way ...

How to know if it's the real thing ...

Love in the modern era ...

The bell rings, and ...

As a degree-holding linguist, I approve this cartoon ...

The birds and the bees are now the tiks and the toks ...

Busted! ...

There's certainly no love in the current administration, but we can still make fun of it ...

Happy Valentine's Day! You may now kiss your beloved.

Have a good day and a great weekend with those you love. Or, at least, tolerate.

More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday looks at great and timely lyrics by Leonard Cohen. See you then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Tomorrow is Valentine's day, and so it's only reasonable that today we feature a collection of signs and ads that relate to the day. Caveat emptor ...

Yeah, she'll love it ...

This was actually a Mothers' Day ad, but it probably applies to Valentine's Day, too ...

In case your Valentine needs to get rid of any incriminating DNA or unfortunate stains ...

Can you hear me, now? ...

Cleanup on the relationship aisle ...

In case your Valentine is your cat ...

It's nice to give some Valentine's gift advice to the clueless ...

If the affordable, reliable trash service didn't get her excited ...

I guess he also handles things like prenups, separations, and divorces ...

I don't even know where to begin ...

And that's it for our Valentine's Day Eve collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. Go forth and impress your Valentine!

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for a Cartoon Saturday salute to love and romance in honor of Valentine's Day. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

My new favorite musical group is the Piedmont Raging Grannies, who have a great collection of funny and satirical songs. If you haven't heard "Hey, Mr Tangerine Man," head right over to You Tube and check it out. In the meantime, their twist on the old tune "Button Up Your Overcoat" speaks directly to us old fogies ...

Have a good day, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and listen to the grannies ... they've been around the block a few times.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Well, if you thought February would be better than January, the joke's on you ...

In a monolog on a conservative podcast this week, Der Furor advocated the unconstitutional nationalization of elections, and Republicans taking control of elections in at least 15 unnamed states; Der Furor announced that he will close the Kennedy Center for two years to "renovate" the facility, possibly a reaction to tanking ticket sales following his takeover of the once-prestigious cultural location; billionaire owner of the Washington Post Jeff Bezos has gutted the once-great national paper, firing more than 300 reporters and staff members; Der Furor told Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer that he would be willing to unfreeze $16 billion in funding for a major infrastructure project in New York if Schumer would agree to rename New York's Penn Station and Washington's Dulles Airport after him; and in Stoughton, Wisconsin, police used a drone to capture a serial defecator in the act ... the perpetrator, a 46-year-old woman, was charged with indecent conduct and offered a position as manager of Der Furor's social media accounts.

This week, a collection of cartoons about GPS and direction apps ... the salvation (mostly) of those of us who are directionally challenged.

I have one of those ...

I wish I'd had one of those back in the day ...

It must be in downtown Pittsburgh ...

Uh, oh ... should have been more specific ...

GPS in the pioneer days ...

X marks the spot, usually ...

I think this model is going to be sold in the US this year ...

This one's a little dated, but still funny ...

Yep ...

It makes you one with the road ...

And that's it for this week's GPS-themed Cartoon Saturday - hope I didn't lead you astray.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and stay as warm as you can. Come back tomorrow for Musical Sunday and a visit to the Piedmont Raging Grannies ... see you then.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2026

Earlier this week we presented an out-of-cycle Ass Clown Special Award - the first of 2026 - to the Arc de Trump. Today, we present the first regularly-scheduled Ass Clown Award for February to an individual who has, somehow, flown under our radar before now. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with the traditional flatulent blare of trumpets and shower of confetti made from shredded evidence, we present the award for 

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2026

to

White House Deputy Chief of Staff

Stephen Miller

Stephen Miller is probably the most powerful and influential unelected individual in a position with responsibility for shaping national policy. He is the driving force behind implementation of many of the administration's most extreme actions, in particular its extremely aggressive and violent anti-immigrant program. 

He described the president in a CNN interview as having "plenary authority" under the law ... "plenary authority," or "plenary power," in case you didn't know, refers to the absolute, unchecked power of a king or dictator. 

As Der Furor grows increasingly incoherent and emotionally unstable, Miller exerts more and more authority through him, a Rasputin providing the brain and intellectual discipline his tsar lacks. As journalist Judith Levine has commented, "Where [Der Furor] has no guiding principles, Miller is a resolute ideologue of white, western supremacy and a tactician of final solutions."

The disastrous, violent federal overreach in Minnesota is a direct result of Miller's demand that Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials make a minimum of 3,000 immigration arrests a day, nearly ten times the daily number in the previous year. He demands daily updates on the hiring of new ICE agents, on detention capacity, the numbers of deportation flights, and the number of border crossings. He has described the Democratic Party as a “domestic extremist organization,” and told CNN's Jake Tapper that “We are a superpower, and under [Der Furor], we are going to conduct ourselves as a superpower.” 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2026, is White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller, a man whose actions and philosophies make him easy to lampoon

but dangerous to ignore in a nation supposedly guided by the Constitution and the rule of law.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for a Cartoon Saturday look at the world of GPS. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Ass Clown Special Award

In a year like this one (it's only February, for gawd's sake), in which ass clowns are springing up like mushrooms after a warm rain, I'm surprised that I haven't yet felt the need to present an out-of-cycle Ass Clown Special Award. Well, that ends today ... and with a somewhat unusual awardee.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today we present an

Ass Clown Special Award

to

The Arc de Trump

Not satisfied with adding his name to the Kennedy Center ahead of that of President John F. Kennedy, to whom the Center is a memorial, razing the East Wing of the White House to build a gigantic ballroom, and gilding the Oval Office into a Wal-Mart Versailles, Der Furor has announced plans to erect a gigantic triumphal arch between the Lincoln Memorial and Arlington National Cemetery. 

The largest version of the garish arch, the one preferred by Der Furor and immediately nicknamed the "Arc de Trump" by many observers, would dwarf the Lincoln Memorial, being more than twice its height and interrupting the line of sight between Arlington Cemetery and the memorial ... 

According to a White House spokesperson, 

“The Arch is going to be one of the most iconic landmarks not only in Washington, D.C., but throughout the world. President Trump’s bold vision will be imprinted upon the fabric of America and be felt by generations to come. His successes will continue to give the greatest Nation on earth — America — the glory it deserves.”

As to how the arch will be financed, well, nobody quite knows. Der Furor has suggested that so much money has been donated by his sycophants and rich cronies for his White House ballroom vanity project that the leftover funds would pay for the arch. And if you believe that, I have many acres of prime Florida swamp real estate you may want to buy.

At a time when most Americans are concerned about the cost of groceries, the cost of healthcare, and the out-of-control violence of an unregulated immigration enforcement army, their president's "bold vision" is focused on a new ballroom and a triumphal arch twice as high as the French one*.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, this Ass Clown Special Award is presented to the Arc de Trump, the last thing the nation needs.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* The Arc de Triomphe is 164 feet high.