Ass Clown Special Award

We are halfway through 2026, and I have presented 17 Ass Clown Awards so far this year, three of which have been out-of-cycle Special Awards presented for ass clownery so worthy of recognition that it couldn't wait for the next regular award. Today, we present the fourth.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we present this

Ass Clown Special Award

(with Poop of Distinction)

to

Secretary of Defense (Not War)

Pete Hegseth

Mr. Hegseth, almost certainly the least-qualified* and most bellicose Defense Secretary in history, has already won this award six times** (two of them shared*** and one a shared Special Award****). Since those previous awards, he has:

1. Eliminated the requirement for active-duty military personnel to get annual vaccinations against flu, claiming that it was "a matter of religious freedom and medical autonomy" and an “absurd, overreaching” mandate that had served to “weaken our warfighting capabilities.” The immediate, wholly-predictable result was an outbreak of influenza among Air Force trainees at Lackland Air Force Base that sickened more than 200 persons. As a result, the requirement for flu vaccinations for military trainees has been reinstated.

2. Directed military chaplains to no longer wear their officer ranks, claiming that it is incompatible with their role as "moral anchors of the fighting force" who have seen their roles compromised by “political correctness and secular humanism,” that changed and watered down roles “until they were viewed by many as nothing more than therapists.” He also doesn't consider them true "warfighters^†," although chaplains have earned 9 Medals of Honor, as well as (since World War I) 26 Distinguished Service Crosses, 1 Navy Cross, 45 Silver Stars, and 719 Bronze Stars for Valor^††, not to mention many thousands of Purple Hearts.

And,

3. Forced out the widely-respected commander of U.S. Army Europe and Africa, General Chris Donahue, the latest of more than two dozen largely black or female generals and admirals to be pushed out of their jobs or denied promotion as part of Mr Hegseth's perception of the malign influence of DEI on military promotions and assignments.

I will not belabor the point of Mr Hegseth's manifest unfitness for his position by reiterating the material already covered in his previous awards. Suffice it to say that the three latest examples are clearly worthy of the recognition implicit in a Special Award.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we present an Ass Clown Special Award with Poop of Distinction to Secretary of Defense (Not War) Pete Hegseth, who substitutes personal prejudices, rage, and bellicosity for the leadership and care for the soldiers, sailors, airmen, and guardians we deserve to expect from one in his position. 

Have a good day. As with all things in Der Furor's regime, demand more, but expect less.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* The job of Secretary of Defense (Not War) requires a level of military experience at multiple levels of command, extensive experience in managing large organizations, and the ability to understand and work within economic and diplomatic structures that require the ability to understand and, when necessary, accommodate the political and diplomatic needs of America's allies. Given that I retired from the Air Force as a Lieutenant Colonel after 23 years of service, including command and staff experience and management of intelligence programs with various allies, I'm probably at least as qualified to be SecDef (NW) as Mr. Hegseth (who left the Army as a major) ... and I don't consider myself qualified at all. 

** April 2025 Right-Cheek; March 2026 Left-Cheek; April 2026 Right-Cheek; May 2026 Right-Cheek.

*** September 2025 Special Award; March 2026 Right-Cheek, 

**** September 2025 Special Award. 

^† The term "warfighter" has crept into broad usage since the early 1980's, largely replacing the traditional terms "soldier," "sailor," and "airman' in official and non-official communications. It is intended to separate those who engage in actual combat from those who perform other duties. I personally think it's a stupid distinction, but what do I know?

^†† The exact number of awards for valor presented to chaplains since the Revolutionary War is uncertain, but likely numbers in the thousands.

Monday Mountains

The reaction to last week's premiere of Monday Mountains was pretty positive, so let's try it again. There's nothing like some gorgeous mountain scenery to lift the spirits ...

#1 - 

#2 - 

#3 - The Bernese Oberland, Switzerland ...

#4 - The Karakoram Mountains, Pakistan ...

#5 - Pike's Peak and the Garden of the Gods ...

#6 - Rawson Lake, Canada ...

#7 - In the Italian Dolomites ...

#8 - Tatra Mountains, Poland ...

#9 - The Grand Tetons, Wyoming ...

#10 - Zermatt, Switzerland ...

I hope this week's mountain fix helped lift your spirits to start another week ... I know it helped me.

Have a good day and as good a week as circumstances permit. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

I know I've featured this classic song by Grace Jones before on Musical Sunday, but it never gets old ... especially given the quality of statesmanship and competence coming out of this administration. I regret the salty language, but it's no worse than what you can hear from official government spokespersons nowadays ...

And here are the lyrics, if you want to sing along ...

And if I wander down the wrong road,

It's alright baby, just let me go,

If I get tired of all those assholes,

It's alright cause I want them to know.

I'm sick and tired of all this bullshit,

Rough shit, same shit,

Hey Jesus come on down and save us, save us, rave on.

And on the road I ride through Richmond

Rich man, You know the business I'm in

And feeling sorry, makes me feel mad,

Someday, uh baby, I play to win.

I'm sick and tired of all this bullshit,

Rough shit, same shit,

Can't Jesus come on down and save us, save us, rave on.

I'm sick and tired of all this bullshit,

Same shit, wrong shit

Hey Jesus come on down and save us, save us, rave on.

And if I wander down the wrong road,

It's alright honey, just let me go,

If I get tired of all those assholes,

It's alright cause I want them to know.

I'm sick and tired of all this bullshit,

Rough shit, same shit,

Hey Jesus come on down and save us, save us, rave on.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Rave on - or, even better, vote the bums out ... as long as you're still allowed to vote.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Why don't we just replace Jared Kushner, Steve Witkoff, and JD Vance with Mr Miyagi to negotiate with Iran? After all, "War on ... War off" appears to be the preferred negotiating strategy of this administration. 

In Venezuela, rescue workers sought to find thousands of people missing after back-to-back earthquakes devastated parts of the country; the Supreme Court, along ideological lines, upheld regime efforts to deport hundreds of thousands of Haitian and other refugees legally in the United States under Temporary Protected Status; in World Cup competition, Türkiye defeated the United States with a dramatic last-moment goal; dozens of people are dead in the ongoing heat wave, which scientists claim would have been "virtually impossible" without the effects of climate change, that is baking much of Europe; and Ukrainian forces have developed their latest weapon for striking targets deep inside Russia - guided missiles launched from the high-altitude balloons that are already being used against Russian targets.

This week, Cartoon Saturday takes a look at Artificial Intelligence, which is enjoying strong support from those who pride themselves on their Natural Stupidity. And from those who are making a killing from building vast data centers.

Better follow those dreams fast ...

I managed to tell bedtime stories to my children without Chat GPT ...

Yes beware of geeks bearing gifts ...

The revolution is slowly building ...

Uh, oh ...

Goldilocks and the three AIs ...

Unless it figures out how to use you first ...

Someday we'll realize where it all started ...

Is this a manifestation of a smart home or a cunning home? ...

I think that train has already sailed ...

And that's our salute to AI for the last Cartoon Saturday of June ... I hope you enjoyed it without having to resort to AI searches to explain the cartoons.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns with Grace Jones's anthem for the moment. See you then.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2026

Today, we announce the 380th Ass Clown Award* - the latest of my ongoing attempts to shine the light of infamy on those who exemplify noteworthily (?) despicable behavior and the waste of oxygen that might otherwise benefit trees.

Today's award goes to an individual that I can't believe I've missed before this. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we designate as

 

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2026

Acting Attorney General

Todd Blanche

The Office of the Attorney General of the United States was created by the Judiciary Act of 1789, and evolved over the years into the head of the Department of Justice (DOJ) and chief law enforcement officer of the Federal Government. According to the DOJ website, "The Attorney General represents the United States in legal matters generally and gives advice and opinions to the President and to the heads of the executive departments of the Government when so requested."

That's what it says, anyhow.

In practice, Mr Blanche serves as the personal shyster and designated legal hit man for Der Furor, continuing the steady weaponization of the DOJ begun by his predecessor, four-time ass clown award winner Pam Bondi. In his eagerness to achieve his dream of becoming the confirmed, rather than the acting, Attorney General, Mr Blanche has diligently abused his position in order to bring the full weight of the federal justice system to bear against the enemies, real and perceived, of Der Furor. 

It takes significant effort to get a formal request for an ethics investigation into your conduct, but Mr Blanche has gone the extra mile and achieved this questionable distinction. In a 73-page ethics complaint filed to the New York State Bar, 101 retired judges laid out a veritable deluge of complaints about Mr Blanche, including: calling into question his "competency and diligence" in failing to defend the interests of the United States in Der Furor's $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS (including numerous conflicts of interest and "dishonest and deceitful conduct"); his "Abuse of [DOJ] authorities to target personal & political opponents of the President;" and his failure to comply with the Epstein Files Transparency Act.

It is clear that Mr Blanche is focused not on the impartial administration of justice in service to the nation, but on how to abuse his position to punish Der Furor's enemies and make a laughingstock of traditional American notions of equal justice under law.

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd wrote in March of 2019 about another of Der Furor's lawyers, Michael Cohen, in this wonderful passage,

“Trump, who once bleated 'Where’s my Roy Cohn?' in his anger about Jeff Sessions recusing himself, wanted a lawyer who was whip-smart, amoral, ruthless and predatory. Cohen was merely Renfield to Trump’s Dracula, gratefully eating insects and doing the fiend’s bidding.”

Todd Blanche has proven himself to be the latest in the long line of Renfields who have sacrificed their honor and dignity for a power-hungry narcissist who has neither. He will eventually suffer the same fate as all those who have tied their fortunes to a man interested only in what they can do for him, regardless of the personal and professional consequences. But until then, he will continue to represent not the rule of impartial law, but the iron fist of a government weaponized for the benefit of one dangerously unworthy person.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2026, is Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche. We can only hope that enough members of the Senate grow spines and prevent his actual confirmation to the position ... but I'm not holding my breath, and neither should you.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for a Cartoon Saturday look at Artificial Intelligence ... heaven knows we have little enough actual intelligence around.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Comprising 365 individual/group awards and 15 Ass Clown of the Year awards.

Thursday Trees

While we wait for Mike to slay his digital dragons, here's this week's edition of Thursday Trees ... because we couldn't just leaf you without your weekly fix of arboreal splendor ...

#1 - 

#2 - that bench in the left foreground looks pretty inviting, doesn't it?

#3 - 

#4 - 

#5 - 

#6 - this bristlecone pine was photographed by the great Ansel Adams ...

#7 - 

#8 - 

#9 - what a great climbing tree!

#10 - 

And that's this week's Thursday Trees collection ... I hope that the quiet majesty of beautiful trees helped to calm you down in the face of all the lunacy that surrounds us.

Have a good day and, speaking of the lunacy that surrounds us, come back tomorrow for the unveiling of the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

What is the Reverse of Extraordinary Rendition?

On June 15, 1992, the Supreme Court ruled in the case of United States v. Álvarez-Machaín that it is permissible for the United States to forcibly extradite suspects in foreign countries and bring them to the United States for trial, without approval from those other countries. This practice is known in the legal world as "extraordinary rendition." In real-people language, it's known as "kidnapping." One hopes that the Supreme Courts in other countries don't decide that they can legally do the same within the U.S.

Extraordinary Rendition has become a key element of U.S. government campaigns against drug trafficking and terrorism, and its most notable recent application came in January of this year, when U.S. forces attacked Venezuela, kidnapped President Maduro and his wife, and returned them to the United States for trial on drug trafficking charges. But, as useful as it's been for going after criminals and terrorists, its reverse action has become a part of Der Furor's war on immigrants.

"Third-Country Deportation" is the latest tool in the administration's anti-immigration toolbox. It refers to a section of the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA)* that allows the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) to deport migrants from the United States to countries other than their country of origin, or where they have other family or economic ties. According to the Council on Foreign Relations, third countries accepting such migrants (as of September 2025) were: Mexico, Panama, Costa Rica, El Salvador**,  South Sudan, Uganda, Rwanda, and Eswatini (formerly known as Swaziland). It should be noted that these countries are being paid by your government to accept these forcibly deported persons.

Think of Third-Country Deportation as the reverse of Extraordinary Rendition ... instead of snatching people out of their home countries and bringing them to the United States, we snatch people out of the United States and send them to countries where they have no ties of family, language, or culture. 

While I have no sympathy for those who enter the country illegally, neither do I respect the sadistic behavior of a government that refuses - for crass political advantage - to fix a broken immigration system that makes the problem worse.

Have a good day. Keep your head down so you don't have to worry about third-country deportation. You've got enough problems affording gas and groceries.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo 

* The specific citations are 8 U.S. Code § 1231(b)(1)(C)(iv) and 8 U.S. Code § 1231(b)(2)(E)(vii).

** Location of the dreaded CECOT megaprison.

Monday Mountains

As you know, I've been filling in for Mike's Thursday Trees feature while he's hors de combat with computer issues. In times like these, when there is so much ugliness and negativity swirling around us, it's important to have some bits of beauty to help keep us calm and focused amid the social, political, and religious turmoil.

Trees do that, but I also love mountain scenery (which, of course, often comes with trees, at least below the timber line). And so, I've decided to start a new recurring feature I'm calling Monday Mountains - a dose of natural beauty and calm to help start off your week. Here's my first selection of alpine scenery ...

#1 - The Berner Oberland, Switzerland

#2 - French Alps

#3 - Gosausee in Austria (I took this picture)

#4 - The Bavarian Alps, with the famous castles of Neuschwanstein and Hohenschwangau 

#5 - The Peruvian Andes

#6 - Rakaposhi, Pakistan

#7 - In the Superstition Mountains, Arizona

#8 - The Italian Dolomites

#9 - The Matterhorn, on the border between Switzerland and Italy

#10 - Torres de Paine Park, Chile

And that's it for our inaugural edition of Monday Mountains ... I hope it helped you get calm and centered as you step gingerly into the new week.

Have a good day, and keep coming back for more thoughts.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

Today, June 21st, is Father's Day here in the United States - the day on which those of us fortunate enough to have had good fathers honor the sacrifices they made and the lessons they taught us as we grew up and eventually left the nest. My father left us eleven years ago, and I'd like to think that I turned out to be half the man he was.

There are a lot of poems about parents in general and fathers and mothers in particular, but I think one of the very best is this one, written and set to music by Dan Fogelberg in honor of his own father ...

The Leader of the Band

by Dan Fogelberg

An only child alone and wild, a cabinet maker's son

His hands were meant for different work

And his heart was known to none

He left his home and went his lone and solitary way

And he gave to me a gift I know I never can repay

A quiet man of music denied a simpler fate

He tried to be a soldier once, but his music wouldn't wait

He earned his love through discipline, a thundering velvet hand

His gentle means of sculpting souls took me years to understand

The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul

My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band

My brother's lives were different for they heard another call

One went to Chicago and the other to St Paul

And I'm in Colorado when I'm not in some hotel

Living out this life I've chose and come to know so well

I thank you for the music and your stories of the road

I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go

I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough

And papa, I don't think I said 'I love you' near enough

The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old

But his blood runs through my instrument and his song is in my soul

My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man

I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band

I am a living legacy to the leader of the band

"And papa, I don't think I said 'I love you' near enough." It's true.

Have a good day, and tell your dad you love him. 

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

As former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe once commented on CNN, "My wow meter has been recalibrated recently" ...

After Secretary of Defense (not War) Pete Hegseth ended mandatory flu vaccines for service members earlier this year, more than 160 troops have contracted influenza in barracks at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas; in a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court ruled that a federal ban on gun ownership by marijuana users was unconstitutional; Ukraine carried out devastating drone attacks on oil refining facilities in Moscow, rattling Russian citizens unused to the sort of attacks Ukrainian citizens suffer daily; speaking articulately in complete sentences, former President Barack Obama opened his presidential center in Chicago on Thursday with a star-studded cast of attendees; Der Furor paused his nomination of Jay Clayton to be Director of National Intelligence, saying he would keep Bill Pulte as Acting Director and refuse to approve extension of the Foreign Intelligence and Surveillance Act (FISA) until Congress passes his "SAVE America Act" to impose voting restrictions; and in (where else?) Florida, a psychiatrist in Boca Raton has been suspended after several of his female patients claimed he asked them to bare their bodies, not just their minds, during their treatment.

Turn the screen away from the children ... this week's collection of cartoons takes a look at sex. 

Even phone sex needs to be responsible ...

I don't like cilantro, anyway ...

Somebody's not going to be barking up this tree tonight ...

It must be an incel thing ...

Gives new meaning to the term "petting," doesn't it? 

When in Rome ...

Even superheroes can have issues ...

I hope she was on the pilaf ...

Busted!

I don't think that was quite what he had in mind, do you? 

And that's it for this week's PG-17 rated Cartoon Saturday ... I hope it helped you get it up. Your spirits, I mean.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns to celebrate Father's Day. See you then, 

Bilbo