Sunday, July 28, 2019

Musical Sunday


Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows...



In today's America, everybody knows. Sadly, few are willing to admit it.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts on the way.

Bilbo

Saturday, July 27, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Because we're on the road today, this week's Cartoon Saturday won't have the usual roundup of bad news to lead things off. You can weep over the headlines on your own for a week.

This week, in honor of last week's anniversary of the first Global Positioning System - GPS - signal transmission, how about a collection of cartoons about everyone's favorite nonfoldable map?

You have to be careful when using your GPS ...


So that's why she crossed the road! ...


Sometimes the signal is a little off ...


There are a lot of highly-specialized GPS units out there. There's one for dog walkers ...


One specific to Oz ...


One for grandmasters ...


One for serial killers ...


One for skiers ...


One for wheelmen ...


And one for zamboni drivers ...


Congratulations! You have arrived at your destination and are ready to have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, July 26, 2019

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


This will be the last Great Moments collection for July, so let's try to make it a good one. Or at least a groanable one ...

It's never a good idea to argue about hot dogs ...


Misdemeanor theft of pizza ...


I wonder which restaurant she ate at ...


At this point, I might, too ...


I think I'll just go down the street to McDonalds, thanks ...


I think I went to the wrong school ...


I'll bet he has a nice red hat ...


Where serial killers shop for appliances ...


Well, I guess it's good that they'll be in close contact ...


He was released on bail, and is now working on post-tweet clarifications for Der Furor ...


And that's it for our final collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for July, 2019. This feature will return next month; tomorrow, we'll have the final Cartoon Saturday for the month - see you then.

Bilbo

Sunday, July 21, 2019

Poetry Sunday


One of the joys of good poetry is the use of words and rhythm to create memorable images, as in this homage to the humble aubergine ... but contrary to the opinion of the author, I love the taste of this versatile and delicious veggie!

Eggplant
by Richard Jones

I've never liked the taste,
which, I think,
is a shame,
because some days
when my wife goes to work
and I walk to the grocery store,
I stand in the produce aisle,
admiring those gorgeous
purple fruits––
wine colored,
sensuously curved––
and can't help but reach out
and pick one up, just to hold it,
so silky smooth, so luscious looking
I almost fall in love,
but then remember
who I am:
a man not fond of eggplant.
Nonetheless,
I linger and look
and there in the bin
under the misters and lights,
I find it––
the perfect eggplant,
the glossy flesh unblemished,
meat firm under the fingers,
the stem and cap
bright green.
The fruit heavy in the hand,
I place the eggplant
in my cart,
taking special care,
knowing an eggplant is delicate
and wounds easily.
I carry the grocery bag home
through a light rain
and arrange the eggplant
on a white tablecloth,
the opulent purple orb
lustrous in the window light
and quietly beautiful
as if lying on satin sheets.
Then I sit in the wing chair.
The house grows dark
as the rain falls harder
and I wait for my wife
to come home from work,
shake off her raincoat,
turn on the lamp,
and behold the eggplant.


Have a good day, and enjoy a nice helping of the vegetable of your choice as you coast down to the end of your weekend.

More thoughts later.

Bilbo

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Yes, it's been another odd week ...

Der Furor received wide condemnation - but not from his base and enablers - for making inflammatory comments about four nonwhite members of Congress ... and, of course, denied he'd encouraged chants of "send her back" at a campaign rally; two hard-core conservative Senators blocked a Senate vote funding for 9/11 first responders; Der Furor claimed that a Navy ship had shot down an Iranian drone, which Iran denied; and a federal judge denied bail for multimillionaire and registered sex offender Jeffrey Epstein while he awaits trial on new allegations of sexual abuse of children.

Given how sucky the news has been lately, I figured we could use a nice, inoffensive topic for this week's Cartoon Saturday. Since my daughter and her family started raising chickens, I've become aware of the large number of chicken-themed cartoons out there, and who doesn't like chickens*? Here's a selection ...

There's a whole sub-genre of chicken cartoons that riff on the old question, "why did the chicken cross the road?" Let's lead off with some of those ...

Busted! ...


Why, indeed? ...


Answer the question! ...


A chicken-crossing-the-road cartoon AND a bilingual pun ... how much better does it get? ...


Even chickens can combine wanderlust and activism ...


Oops ...


Chicken movies need subtitles, right? ...


Free range, but only within the wi-fi coverage ...


It's a pretty clear diagnosis ... 


You can't be too careful, even when ordering chicken ...


And there you have it - a collection of relatively inoffensive cartoons about chickens. You're welcome.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo

* Except for Harry Angel, the lead character in the William Hjortsberg novel "Falling Angel," filmed as "Angel Heart." Harry Angel was played in the film by Mickey Rourke.

Friday, July 19, 2019

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2019


I have a confession to make, Dear Readers.

Presenting the biweekly Ass Clown awards isn't fun any more.

While I enjoy lampooning the ignorant and the stupid who plague us in all walks of life, part of the joy of poking fun at them comes from recognition of their blissful ignorance of just how stupid they are. Now, though, the worst ass clowns are not just stupid and ignorant, but are proud of it and double down on the behavior that marks them as weak eddies in the gene pool. They view criticism and satire as badges of honor that prove how great they are and how jealous of their superiority are lesser beings like you and I.

No, it's not fun any more. ... but it still has to be done. And therefore, I have decided to name the latest recipient -

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for July, 2019


and the award goes to

The Enablers of Der Furor


Although Donald Trump is no longer eligible for ass clown citations, having earned a lifetime award, his despicable behavior continues to be an embarrassment and a danger to the nation and an affront to the world. And that behavior is enabled by those who, for whatever reason, provide unthinking and unstinting support and justification for it. It is enabled by business leaders and financiers who are getting what they want - lower taxes, protectionist trade policies, and the wholesale elimination of regulations (regardless of the reasons for which they were imposed). It is enabled by social conservatives who are getting what they want - a starkly conservative judiciary, the empowerment of religious bigotry, and the provision of a convenient devil (immigrants) on whom to blame their problems. It is enabled by isolationists who blame all the ills of the nation on our relationships with other nations. It is enabled by members of Congress who are cowed by the roar of the populist crowd and are afraid of the social media ranting of an amoral leader. And it is enabled by every American who fails to speak out against the political, economic, social, and moral rot that radiates from the desk once occupied by giants like Washington, Lincoln, and Roosevelt ... the desk that is now occupied by a man unfit to speak their names. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it is without joy and with a heart heavy for the country I love, that I name The Enablers of Der Furor as the collective recipients of the Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award for July, 2019.

Have a good day. Speak out. And come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Musical Sunday


Yesterday on Cartoon Saturday, we looked at one sort of alien. Today, Phil Collins and Genesis look at another ...



Have a good day, and be sure to have your documents with you when you go out ... Der Furor is watching!

More thoughts later.

Bilbo

Saturday, July 13, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Sometimes you just have to shake your head in despair ...

The British ambassador to the United States, Sir Kim Darroch, resigned this week after an anonymous leaker published private diplomatic cables in which he starkly disparaged the US president and administration; Billionaire business tycoon and one-time third-party presidential candidate H. Ross Perot died at the age of 89; Der Furor held a "social media summit" at the White House on Thursday, inviting stars of the far-right Internet, conspiracy theorists, anonymous trolls, and misinformation purveyors; disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein was arrested and charged with running a sex-trafficking ring involving underage women ... and his lawyers proposed a bail package that would allow him to remain out of jail pending trial and live in home detention at his $77 million Manhattan mansion; and a British warship chased off a group of armed Iranian small boats which attempted to hijack a British-owned tanker in the Strait of Hormuz.

This past Monday marked the anniversary of the famous "Roswell Incident," in which US government agencies were said to have recovered the wreckage of a crashed unidentified flying object and the bodies of the aliens inside, all of which are now stored in a carefully-hidden and secured facility, probably at Area 51 in the remote Nevada desert. It seems reasonable, therefore, to dedicate this week's cartoon selection to aliens ... the tantalizing and exciting ones from outer space, not the evil hordes from south of the border.

Was that today? ...


When you gotta go, you gotta go ...


Aliens make serious mistakes, too ...


Recreation is important for aliens, too ...


The excursion costs extra ...


Alien yard work ...


We come in what? ...


Not the game show I'd like to participate on ...


School children are the same everywhere ...


Abort for sure! ...


And so you have it - this week's collection of cartoons about the real alien threat. I hope you enjoyed it and are now ready to suck it up, grit your teeth, and get ready to face the new week when it arrives on Monday. First, though, come back tomorrow and join Phil Collins and Genesis as we continue our alien-themed weekend.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, July 12, 2019

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


It's that time again ...

It's such a pain to have to de-bone bananas ...


The latest from Der Furor's DOJ ...


Those ducks can really be a serious problem ...


This is a rather odd side business, don't you think? ...


NOW I understand ...


They say it's for men only, but in these days of gender identity confusion, I can see a lawsuit coming ...


I can absolutely see this diet causing significant weight loss ...


I wonder if this is under consideration for a GOP slogan in 2020 ...


One wonders if they read the instructions ...


Now that's some serious pollution ...


Okay, that's enough. Let those sink in while you make your plans to come back tomorrow for a Cartoon Saturday look at aliens ... the ones from outer space, not from south of the border. See you then!

Bilbo