Updating the Requirements for Election

As I noted in my post last Wednesday, we have a problem with our elected officials in this country. You're shocked, I know. But the problem is not the obvious one of the despicable venality of some of those we've elected* ... the problem is that there's nothing to prevent them from getting elected in the first place.

As I see it, the fundamental problem is that the Constitution prescribes virtually no guidelines for eligibility for election to Congress, the Presidency, or the Vice-Presidency. Here are the current Constitutional rules on eligibility for office:

Article I, Section 2: No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

Article I, Section 3: No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

Article II, Section 1: No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

Those are some pretty low bars under which the unqualified can limbo.

It's clear to me (and to other commentators smarter than I) that we need some better guidelines to weed out the venal, the incompetent, the traitorous, the criminal, and the just-plain-crazy** from running for the nation's highest offices. To that end, because I don't believe in bitching about a problem without offering a solution, here is my proposal for a Constitutional Amendment to place some updated requirements on office-seekers:

Amendment XXVIII

Section 1.

Article 1, Section 2, Clause 2, of the Constitution is deleted and replaced with the following:

No person under twenty-five years of age and a citizen of the United States, whether native-born or naturalized, for less than seven years at the time of election shall be eligible for election to the House of Representatives. A person elected to the House of Representatives must, as of the date of election, have been a legal permanent resident of the district in which elected for at least five years.

Section 2.

Article I, Section 3, Clause 3, of the Constitution is deleted and replaced with the following:

No person under thirty years of age and a citizen of the United States, whether native-born or naturalized,  for less than nine years at the time of election shall be eligible for election to the Senate. A person elected to the Senate must, as of the date of election, have been a legal permanent resident of the State in which elected for at least five years.

Section 3.

Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5, of the Constitution is deleted and replaced with the following:

No person under thirty-five years of age and a citizen of the United States, whether native-born or naturalized, for less than twenty years at the time of election shall be eligible for election to the office of President of the United States.

Section 4.

No person who is ineligible for award of a Top Secret security clearance, according to the requirements defined by the the Department of Defense as of the date of election, shall be eligible for election as a Representative or Senator, or to the Presidency or Vice-Presidency.

In order to expose potential improprieties or conflicts of interest on the part of elected officials, any person seeking election to the House of Representatives, the Senate, the Presidency, or the Vice-Presidency shall submit to the Judiciary Committees of both Houses of Congress and, through such mechanism as the Department of the Treasury may direct, to the people, full and complete copies of federal and state tax returns, both personal and for any businesses, for the ten years preceding the date of election.

Section 5.

Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

I don't think these are overly onerous requirements for those who wish to be elected to offices in which they will make decisions which affect every American ... and, indeed, the world. Some might argue that the security clearance requirement is somehow discriminatory, but I think exactly the opposite; in fact, I think it would be easier for an average lower- or middle-class American to get a clearance because their financial and social situations would be less likely to be as complex and murky as those of the wealthy. And who could oppose weeding out those with criminal records? In addition, a clearance does not require or presuppose any particular level of education (although a good - not necessarily college - education is always a good thing). What do you think? What would you add or subtract? What would you modify? Why? Leave a comment.

I have shared this by letter with my Senators, my Representative, and the White House, where it will probably go into the "Letters from That Noisy Crank, Bilbo" file, but at least I'll feel good about having suggested something.

Have a good day. Demand more from your elected officials, but expect less. Sigh.

More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

* Think Der Furor, George Santos, etm.

** Yes, Empty G, Louie Gohmert, Ronny Jackson, etm, I'm talking to you.

Musical Sunday

The Parody Project keeps churning out great video parodies, and their streak continues with this new take on Billy Joel's classic tune, "She's Always a Woman" ...

"They create a disaster, find others to blame,

They follow their Master and never feel shame"

Yep.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

January can't be over soon enough ...

In the wake of classified documents found at the homes and offices of Der Furor, former Vice President Mike Pence, and President Biden, the National Archives and Records Administration has asked all former presidents and vice presidents to search their spaces for classified documents; the GOP-dominated state legislature in Arizona has ruled that state senators will not have to disclose any text messages sent on personal devices, even when dealing with state business, and that emails and other documents will be destroyed after 90 days; an asteroid the size of a bus narrowly missed the earth on Thursday, passing within 2200 miles (3600 km); authorities in Memphis, Tennessee on Friday released graphic video of five police officers - who have since been fired, arrested, and charged with murder - savagely beating a young black man after a traffic stop; and in California, a car thief was arrested after he went to sleep in his stolen car ... in the parking lot of the San Diego Police Department's Traffic Safety Department.

Oh, heck ... why not another selection of random, but still entertaining, cartoons? ...

It's everywhere!!! AAUUGGHH!!!  

Now that's a real home meal delivery service! ...

If you don't want to cook at home, be careful to choose the right menu when you go out ...

Even the price of golden eggs is out of sight ...

I've been to a lot of presentations like this ...

Sad, but all too true ...

Sleeping Beauty, 2023 ...

This must be elementary school for corporate lawyers ...

I know a lot of people like this, and spend a lot of time avoiding them ...

I know a lot of people like this, too ... you can see them on newscasts every day ...

And that's it for this latest potpourri edition of Cartoon Saturday ... I hope it helped take your mind off the relentless drumbeat of political incompetence where the House of Representatives used to be.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow for Musical Sunday, when the Parody Project returns with its latest gem. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2023

2022 was a banner year for ass clownery, with the awards dominated by the Republican Party, whose "leadership" and membership abandoned all pretense of rationality and willingness to govern responsibly. Twenty-four awards (out of a total of 27) went to GOP, extreme right-wing, or conservative winners in recognition of their atrocious behavior; indeed, every finalist for the 2022 Ass Clown of the Year was a deeply conservative Republican, and the winner was hard-right Texas Governor Greg Abbott.

The year 2023 promises to be no different, as demonstrated by the growing chaos in the Republican Party, which is increasingly defined by extreme positions unsupported by any rational plan ... indeed, any plan at all ... for implementing them.

As I write this on January 26th, the 168 members of the Republican National Committee (RNC) are set to meet on January 27th - today - to elect the new RNC Chair. And it is the three candidates for this unenviable position that I have chosen to designate as

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2023

The Candidates for Chair of the RNC:

Ronna McDaniel

Mike Lindell

and

Harmeet Dhillon

Let's look at the three.

Ronna McDaniel has been the RNC Chair since 2017, when she was the hand-picked candidate of Der Furor for the post, and has been an outspoken advocate for Der Furor and for the hard right wing of the Republican Party. She has recently been under fire from many Republicans who blame her for the party's poor showing in the 2022 midterm elections. Her worship of Der Furor having soured for any number of reasons, she has argued that one of her major qualifications for the chair is that she is the best person to prevent Der Furor from running as a third-party candidate if he fails to win the GOP nomination in 2024.

Mike Lindell, the CEO of "My Pillow," is a dedicated conspiracy theorist who continues to strongly contest the legitimacy of the 2020 presidential election. He is a strong backer of Der Furor and of the primacy of Evangelical Christian beliefs.

Harmeet Dhillon is one of Der Furor's legion of lawyers. She founded the law firm that represented Der Furor in his defamation lawsuit against adult-film star Stormy Daniels and during the investigation into the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol by a mob of Der Furor's supporters. According to her website,

"[she] has developed a niche practice in representing clients across California in election and campaign law matters, ranging from general compliance and ethics representation for partisan and non-partisan contenders to ballot description contests and intellectual property matters pertaining to campaign communications."

 Unlike Ms McDaniel, she has pledged to remain neutral in the 2024 GOP primaries if she is elected.

What none of the three offer is any platform for how the Republican Party would address the nation's problems. Whatever you may think of the Democratic Party, they have a clear vision of a government whose economic and social policies benefit average Americans rather than the wealthy and big business.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the tinfoil and toilet paper crown of the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2023, is presented jointly to Ronna McDaniel, Mike Lindell, and Harmeet Dhillon - the three individuals seeking to lead the increasingly fractious Republican Party ... whatever it stands for.

Have a good day and be sure to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... you know you need it.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

A Few Thoughts on Classified Documents at Home

As our media is consumed by the horror of classified documents being found at the homes of Der Furor, President Biden, and former Vice President Pence, I thought I'd add my unsolicited two cents to the discussion.

As you, my long-time readers, will know, I spent 23 years on active duty in the Air Force and another 20 as a contractor working on various highly classified Air Force projects. In every one of those years, I held a Top Secret security clearance and was adjudicated for access to Special Compartmented Intelligence, and for many of those years I was also approved for access to a number of Special Access Programs for which all of the previous accesses were a prerequisite for such access. I've been investigated, re-investigated, studied, adjudicated, monitored, and passed a polygraph exam. My finances have been examined in detail and my friends and neighbors have been asked about me. I've had to endlessly document and explain the fact that I am married to a (gasp!) foreign national and have foreign citizens (including Russians!) who are friends or family members. I've been required to sign my own weight in non-disclosure agreements and agreements that I would never (no expiration date!) divulge the smallest detail of some of the programs on which I worked under penalty of arrest and imprisonment. 

Got that? Okay. Now, let's review the requirements for access to highly classified information which apply to our Presidents, Vice-Presidents, and Members of Congress. Here is a detailed list:

Got that? Good.

So, here is my take on the furor around classified documents being found in the homes and offices of Der Furor, President Biden, former Vice-President Pence, and - no doubt - a raft of other former elected officials who have not yet been caught. Oh ... and their teeming swarms of staff members as well.

We've made it easy and painless for them to do it.

We do not require our national-level elected officials to pass any sort of formal security vetting or, indeed, anything even remotely close to what I and other intelligence professionals had to endure and agree to in order to hold our jobs. Almost all of these people have absolutely no concept of the importance of and reasons for security ... the only exceptions are those vanishing few who have served in the military or the intelligence services. 

We ignored the self-serving vanity and stupidity of Der Furor when he revealed classified information to the Russian Ambassador and Foreign Minister in the Oval Office. We ignored the fact that he had hundreds of highly classified documents he was not allowed to have stored without protection in various spots at Mar-a-Lago, that he fought every attempt to have them returned to the government, that it took an FBI search conducted under a search warrant to located additional documents after his attorneys stated in writing that everything had been returned ... and that after all that, none of his other properties has been searched.

Der Furor's supporters righteously thunder that the discovery of classified documents at the homes and offices of President Biden and former Vice President Pence vindicate the Mango Mussolini, and insist on searches of the President's other properties while ignoring the fact that both other men self-reported the presence of the documents and invited the FBI to conduct detailed searches without the need for a search warrant. I believe that the Biden and Pence cases, while serious, reflect poor security hygiene on the part of both men and their staffs, while Der Furor's case shows a stubborn and egotistical willingness proudly to hold himself above any standards and requirements of basic security and responsibility for the demands of his office.

But that's all beside the point I am trying to make.

The fundamental point is that we do not require our elected officials to meet the most basic security requirements for access to the nation's most important secrets, nor do we impress upon them the importance of handling those secrets properly. Can you imagine a serial, probably pathological liar like New York Representative George Santos gaining access to the nation's most vital information? He would never have passed the most basic background investigation. How about questionably balanced individuals like Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Louie Gohmert, and Matt Gaetz? And consider that Der Furor, with vast debts held by foreign banks, a long record of bankruptcy and accusations of sexual assault, and a lifetime of demonstrated lies, as president had access to everything the military and intelligence services know and do.

If you believe for a single second that he wouldn't cash in on that, I have some prime swampland in DeSantisstan to sell you.

The time has come to make sure that everyone running for the presidency or Congress pass the same sort of background investigation we demand of our Service Members and those who serve in the Intelligence Community. The Constitution imposes only requirements for age and citizenship ... it is time to amend it to stiffen the requirements for elected office in a world very different from that of 1789. I'm working on the wording for such an amendment, and will share it here in a future post.

In the meantime, quit bleating about the simple fact of improperly-held documents, and focus on the issues of carelessness versus criminality.

After all, we've allowed it all to happen.

Have a good day.

More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

P.S. - I apologize in advance for any typos or poor grammar. I was pretty fired up when I wrote this. I'll fix any mistakes later.

Poetry Sunday

This past Monday we observed the birthday of poet Robert W. Service, known as "The Bard of the Yukon" for his wonderfully descriptive and lyrical poems about life on the arctic frontier during the Gold Rush era. I love all of his poems, and they really lend themselves to dramatic reading (especially my favorite, "The Cremation of Sam McGee") but today I'll remember Mr Service with another of his great tall-tale stories ...

The Ballad Of Blasphemous Bill

by Robert W. Service

I took a contract to bury the body of blasphemous Bill MacKie,

Whenever, wherever or whatsoever the manner of death he die --

Whether he die in the light o' day or under the peak-faced moon;

In cabin or dance-hall, camp or dive, mucklucks or patent shoon;

On velvet tundra or virgin peak, by glacier, drift or draw;

In muskeg hollow or canyon gloom, by avalanche, fang or claw;

By battle, murder or sudden wealth, by pestilence, hooch or lead --

I swore on the Book I would follow and look till I found my tombless dead.

For Bill was a dainty kind of cuss, and his mind was mighty sot

On a dinky patch with flowers and grass in a civilized bone-yard lot.

And where he died or how he died, it didn't matter a damn

So long as he had a grave with frills and a tombstone "epigram".

So I promised him, and he paid the price in good cheechako coin

(Which the same I blowed in that very night down in the Tenderloin).

Then I painted a three-foot slab of pine:  "Here lies poor Bill MacKie",

And I hung it up on my cabin wall and I waited for Bill to die.

Years passed away, and at last one day came a squaw with a story strange,

Of a long-deserted line of traps 'way back of the Bighorn range;

Of a little hut by the great divide, and a white man stiff and still,

Lying there by his lonesome self, and I figured it must be Bill.

So I thought of the contract I'd made with him, and I took down from the shelf

The swell black box with the silver plate he'd picked out for hisself;

And I packed it full of grub and "hooch", and I slung it on the sleigh;

Then I harnessed up my team of dogs and was off at dawn of day.

You know what it's like in the Yukon wild when it's sixty-nine below;

When the ice-worms wriggle their purple heads through the crust of the pale blue snow;

When the pine-trees crack like little guns in the silence of the wood,

And the icicles hang down like tusks under the parka hood;

When the stove-pipe smoke breaks sudden off, and the sky is weirdly lit,

And the careless feel of a bit of steel burns like a red-hot spit;

When the mercury is a frozen ball, and the frost-fiend stalks to kill --

Well, it was just like that that day when I set out to look for Bill.

Oh, the awful hush that seemed to crush me down on every hand,

As I blundered blind with a trail to find through that blank and bitter land;

Half dazed, half crazed in the winter wild, with its grim heart-breaking woes,

And the ruthless strife for a grip on life that only the sourdough knows!

North by the compass, North I pressed; river and peak and plain

Passed like a dream I slept to lose and I waked to dream again.

River and plain and mighty peak -- and who could stand unawed?

As their summits blazed, he could stand undazed at the foot of the throne of God.

North, aye, North, through a land accurst, shunned by the scouring brutes,

And all I heard was my own harsh word and the whine of the malamutes,

Till at last I came to a cabin squat, built in the side of a hill,

And I burst in the door, and there on the floor, frozen to death, lay Bill.

Ice, white ice, like a winding-sheet, sheathing each smoke-grimed wall;

Ice on the stove-pipe, ice on the bed, ice gleaming over all;

Sparkling ice on the dead man's chest, glittering ice in his hair,

Ice on his fingers, ice in his heart, ice in his glassy stare;

Hard as a log and trussed like a frog, with his arms and legs outspread.

I gazed at the coffin I'd brought for him, and I gazed at the gruesome dead,

And at last I spoke:  "Bill liked his joke; but still, goldarn his eyes,

A man had ought to consider his mates in the way he goes and dies."

Have you ever stood in an Arctic hut in the shadow of the Pole,

With a little coffin six by three and a grief you can't control?

Have you ever sat by a frozen corpse that looks at you with a grin,

And that seems to say:  "You may try all day, but you'll never jam me in"?

I'm not a man of the quitting kind, but I never felt so blue

As I sat there gazing at that stiff and studying what I'd do.

Then I rose and I kicked off the husky dogs that were nosing round about,

And I lit a roaring fire in the stove, and I started to thaw Bill out.

Well, I thawed and thawed for thirteen days, but it didn't seem no good;

His arms and legs stuck out like pegs, as if they was made of wood.

Till at last I said:  "It ain't no use -- he's froze too hard to thaw;

He's obstinate, and he won't lie straight, so I guess I got to -- saw."

So I sawed off poor Bill's arms and legs, and I laid him snug and straight

In the little coffin he picked hisself, with the dinky silver plate;

And I came nigh near to shedding a tear as I nailed him safely down;

Then I stowed him away in my Yukon sleigh, and I started back to town.

So I buried him as the contract was in a narrow grave and deep,

And there he's waiting the Great Clean-up, when the Judgment sluice-heads sweep;

And I smoke my pipe and I meditate in the light of the Midnight Sun,

And sometimes I wonder if they was, the awful things I done.

And as I sit and the parson talks, expounding of the Law,

I often think of poor old Bill -- and how hard he was to saw.

I, of course, am not particularly blasphemous (except as concerns certain politicians and a few select individuals who shall remain nameless) ... but I do, of course, have a soft spot in my heart for my fellow Bills, blasphemous or not.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Hoo, boy ... and you thought 2022 was crazy ...

A Florida judge sanctioned Der Furor and one of his attorneys this week, ordering them to pay nearly $1 million for filing what he described as frivolous lawsuits against Hillary Clinton and others ... following that ruling, Der Furor dropped his $250 million lawsuit against New York Attorney General Letitia James, probably on the advice of his lawyers who fear further financial and reputational damage on behalf of their vexatious client; legendary rocker David Crosby died at age 81 after a long illness; Thinx, a company manufacturing absorbent female underwear designed to be worn during menstrual periods, has settled a lawsuit that claimed the panties were made with potentially harmful chemicals; the long-awaited report of the investigation into the leak of the draft Supreme Court decision in the controversial Dobbs case was released this week, but concluded it could not identify the source of the leak*; and in a Chicago convenience store, the concealed pistol a customer was carrying fell through a hole in his pocket, hit the floor, and fired, hitting a 12-year-old member of his family in the hand. 

This week, in a head-nod to an economy that works really well if you're already rich, how about a collection of cartoons about economics?

This is how it probably ought to work ... 

Buckle up ... the new GOP-controlled house is ready to really drop the bomb on you if you're not already rich ...

One of the best quotes from Mario Puzo's classic novel The Godfather told us that "a lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns." It's all in who writes the laws ...

All too often, this is the right question ...

Timing is everything ...

Good guess ...

Economics is more fun when puns are involved ...

I've been corrected out of tens of thousands of dollars over the years ...

Yes, that would be a good market indicator ...

If you're an economist, it makes perfect sense ...

And that's it for this week's Cartoon Saturday. Watch your wallet for the indicators that the GOP is not your economic friend.

Have a good day and a great weekend. See you again tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday honors The Bard of the Yukon. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* It's noteworthy that none of the Supreme Court justices or their spouses were apparently questioned in the "investigation."

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Here we go again ... you know you're ready!

Whether or not this is a good price depends on your rate of gastrointestinal exchange ...

No, I don't think they can ...

The climate is changing faster than I thought ...

You probably need to wash the car more often, too ...

Well, yes, that would help alleviate the problem of large families ...

I think someone needs to hire a new person to name the colors ...

Hmmm ...

I think this stern warning is as far as gun rights activists are willing to go to combat gun violence ...

It's served in a big bowl ...

Why am I not surprised? ...

And there you have it - the latest edition of Great Moments in Editing and Signage! Two of today's examples were submitted by readers of this blog - thanks for sending them in! Contributions are always welcome.

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

A few days ago on the TV show Galileo we saw a piece on the career of the German musical group Fool's Garden, famous for their one tremendous smash hit in Europe called "Lemon Tree" (not to be confused with the Trini Lopez hit of the same name). I'd never heard it before, but I think it's a wonderfully catchy tune, ideal for a Musical Sunday ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. Remember that lemons are high in vitamin C, but murder on your teeth.

More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

And you thought things couldn't get much worse ...

In its first official act of the 118th Congress, the GOP majority proudly and happily passed a bill to reverse the funding provided to the IRS by the Inflation Reduction Act ... a move which, according to the Congressional Budget Office, would add about $114 billion to the deficit over the next decade; serial fabulist George Santos, whose cascade of lies led to his election to the House, refused to resign and was defended by the House GOP "leadership," which desperately needs his vote in the narrowly-controlled House; Congressional Republicans anxious for revenge over investigations of the previous administration plan to establish a new House Subcommittee on Weaponization of the Federal Government by Everyone Except Republicans, to be headed by professional bomb-thrower Jim Jordan; a series of deadly storms continued to pummel California with devastating floods and mudslides; Republicans exploded in orgasmic schadenfreude over the discovery of classified documents found in President Biden's home and in an office he used at his think tank; and Russian wannabe Tsar Vladimir Putin has fired the commander of his army in Ukraine, General Sergei Surovkin, after only three months, replacing him with Chief of Staff Valery Gerasimov ... Surovkin will remain in his post until Putin locates a window high enough for him to fall out of.

My collection of cartoons waiting to be sorted into categories in the file is getting unwieldy, so I guess I'll thin it out this week with a no-theme edition of Cartoon Saturday ... and away we go!

The GOP takeover of the House of Representatives has led to a lot of cartoons and jokes about what monkeys throw, so how about a non-poop-flinging-monkey cartoon? ...

It'll be settling in quickly enough ...

Animals are often more talented than we realize. And they lend themselves to clever puns, too ...

I feel the same way ...

You may have been wondering how the networks pick the talking heads for their news segments ...

If at first you don't succeed ...

Trash sorting in early January ...

This is as accurate as it gets ...

So, how would you sort books on this topic? ...

And finally, a cartoon that sums up the way I feel on most days this year ...

I hope you enjoyed today's cartoon potpourri, and that it helped you get past the dispiriting news of the week. I'm always here for you.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns for the new year.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2023

The new year is just a week old, and today is Friday the 13th ... an appropriate day to announce the first ass clown award recipient of 2023. Tempus is fugiting, as my Mother would have said.

My first inclination was to give this first award of the year to the former Prince Harry of the UK, now known as Harry Mountbatten-Windsor, in honor of his bridge burning literary and interview crusade against his family. Although I still think he's worthy of an award, I have, after long thought and discussion with my chief advisor*, decided instead to recognize a different recipient, one whose behavior over the last few weeks has been appalling on many levels.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I present the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2023

The GOP Majority

of

The House of Representatives

and

House Speaker (so far) Kevin McCarthy

The GOP bloc in Congress has long distinguished itself by childish behavior, bomb-throwing, ignorance of the Constitution, self-righteous arrogance, and disdain for the rules of good governance, but the new GOP House majority has proudly displayed a level of buffoonery and incompetence for the ages over the election of an emasculated Kevin McCarthy as Speaker, its own organization for the coming session, and its focus on vengeance politics and cultural warfare rather than the real problems of real people. 

It took fourteen ballots over two days - a number not seen since 1923 - for the Republicans to submit to the blackmail of 20 extreme hard-core members to elect California's Kevin McCarthy to a speakership so weakened by the promises he made to garner votes that the position will be nearly powerless and incapable of providing guidance and leadership.

House Republicans, of course, worked hard to put the best possible face on the embarrassing mess. McCarthy characterized the chaos as a good thing because the GOP had "learned how to govern." Texas Representative Chip Roy said with a straight face that “This was about empowering people — empowering rank-and-file members,” and his fellow Texan Dan Crenshaw declared that “The new rules and the way of doing business is good.”

And although the GOP has thundered loudly at every opportunity for the need for government to be more open, transparent, and accountable, even many House Republicans are angered over the secrecy surrounding some of the concessions McCarthy made in his attempt to secure the support of extreme Republican members.

It's first order of business upon seizing power was to introduce legislation to withdraw funding for new personnel and equipment upgrades for the Internal Revenue Service, blatantly lying about what the funding would have paid for and cementing the GOP's subservience to its deep-pocketed big-business and ultra wealthy supporters. Indeed, the Congressional Budget Office estimated that cutting this funding, thereby crippling the ability of the IRS to do its job, would result in an increase of approximately $114 billion in deficits over the next ten years. The proposed legislation will certainly go nowhere in the Senate, but is a clear indication of the GOP's lack of serious consideration for government funding and shameless casting of middle-class taxpayers under the bus to satisfy its backers.

It's a hallmark of today's GOP that, immediately upon taking control of the House, it forgot all of its thundering about kitchen-table issues and moved directly to address the red-meat issues guaranteed to inflame its base. There is nothing at all about this party that is honorable or defensible.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, our first ass clown awardee of 2023 is the GOP House majority and its would-be ringleader. One can only hope that the country at large sees that the inmates are now running the asylum.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... you'll need it.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo 

* That would be Agnes.

Bilbo's Updated Bucket List ... and the New Anti-Bucket List

You all remember what a bucket list is, right? It's the list of things you want to do before you "kick the bucket." I published my initial five-item bucket list back in August of 2008, and updated it several times, last in August of 2017, by which time it had grown to eight items. Now that a few more years have passed, I've decided to pare my list down to four items:

1. Dance at the weddings of all my grandchildren. This was #1 on all previous lists, and remains the #1 item. 

2. Hold my first (at least) great-grandchild and read to him or her. This was #2 on the previous lists, and holds steady. No change. I love my children and grandchildren, and want to see and enjoy as many of my great-grandchildren as I can.

3. Visit Vienna (Austria), Warsaw (Poland), Prague (Czech Republic), and Budapest (Hungary). My original list had only two cities on it: St Petersburg (Russia) and Vienna. St Petersburg fell off the list when we visited there for two days during our 2016 Baltic cruise (back when we were still getting along with the Russians), and I replaced it with Warsaw, Prague, and Budapest. I'm hoping to get to Vienna, and possibly to one or more of the others, later this year.

4. Publish at least one book. This has been on the list since the beginning, but I'm closer now than ever. Last year I finished the first draft of a novel, which I'm still polishing. My nephew Eddie, who is a high school English teacher, has read it and commented positively. Perhaps I can start shopping it around by the end of the year.

These seem reasonable for a guy my age and in reasonable health, so we'll see how it goes.

But wait, there's more!

I recently saw a meme on Facebook asking people to post their anti-bucket lists ... lists of the things they would never do or, having done once, would never do again. I thought it was an interesting thing to consider, and have decided that my initial anti-bucket list would include the following: 

1. Smoke. It's a nasty, dirty, smelly, and unhealthy habit with no socially redeeming qualities. I never have, never will, and don't enjoy being around those who do.

2. Take "recreational" drugs. Reality is bad enough ... why make it worse?

3. Drink to excess. I love a good glass of wine or a well-made cocktail, and will never give those up. The last time I was well and truly drunk was in 1973, and I'm still embarrassed about it*. I'm never doing that again.

4. Vote Republican. I was a Republican for a long time, until I gave up in disgust during the second George W. Bush administration. The nation needs a principled and responsible conservative party to balance liberal policies which are well-meaning but sometimes unrealistic or unsustainable ... but today's Republican party certainly isn't it. If you liked the fascism of the 1940s, you'll love the "conservatism" of today's extreme GOP.

5. Skydive. I see no point in jumping out of an airplane that isn't on fire.

There are a lot more things I could put on this list, but I think I'll save them for another day. What's on your anti-bucket list? Leave a comment and let's share our nevers.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* As far as I know, the only remaining witness to that sorry event is my old friend Toni, who has the grace to remain silent about it.

Poetry Sunday

Being a parent is pretty easy, being nothing more than applied biology and physics. Being a good parent is hard, because it requires empathy, love, selflessness, and the asking of the eternal question, "am I doing this right?". I think this poem has a lot to say about the joy and the fear of trying to be a good parent.

Mother Talks Back to the Monster

by Carrie Shipers

Tonight, I dressed my son in astronaut pajamas,

kissed his forehead and tucked him in.

I turned on his night-light and looked for you

in the closet and under the bed. I told him

you were nowhere to be found, but I could smell

your breath, your musty fur. I remember

all your tricks: the jagged shadows on the wall,

click of your claws, the hand that hovered

just above my ankles if I left them exposed.

Since I became a parent I see danger everywhere-

unleashed dogs, sudden fevers, cereal

two days out of date. And even worse

than feeling so much fear is keeping it inside,

trying not to let my love become so tangled

with anxiety my son thinks they're the same.

When he says he's seen your tail or heard

your heavy step, I insist that you aren't real.

Soon he'll feel too old to tell me his bad dreams.

If you get lonely after he's asleep, you can

always come downstairs. I'll be sitting

at the kitchen table with the dishes

I should wash, crumbs I should wipe up.

We can drink hot tea and talk about

the future, how hard it is to be outgrown.

Dedicated to all the parents out there, trying to do the right thing.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

And here you thought that 2023 just had to be better than 2022 ...

After an embarrassing 15 rounds of voting that ended with major concessions to far-right extremist Republicans and a shameful near fist-fight on the House floor, Kevin McCarthy was finally elected Speaker of the (Greatly Diminished) House; in Newport News, Virginia, a six-year-old elementary school student shot his teacher, sending her to the hospital with life-threatening injuries; the family of a US Capitol Police officer who died a day after the 6 January 2021 riot has filed a wrongful death lawsuit against Der Furor; and in Philadelphia, traffic accident investigation was made easier by the fact that a 25-year-old driver fleeing a police chase crashed into a police car parked in front of the police station, with his car ending up on the station steps.

Let's get 2023 going with a collection of cartoons designed to put a song in our hearts, as opposed to the House of Representatives, which puts a pain in our ... well ... you know.

Tennessee Ernie Ford was singing my song ...  

For some reason, this is how everybody seems to sing the national anthem at major events ...

It works for me ...

Uh, oh ...

When you need to see a specialist ...

The Book of The King, 3:1-6 ...

Step on it, mon ...

It took long enough ...

If Otis Redding were singing today ... 

The background of one of my favorite songs ...

And that's your lyrical introduction to the new year's run of Cartoon Saturdays. Hope you enjoyed it.

Have a good day and a great weekend, and be sure to come back tomorrow for the first Poetry Sunday of 2023 ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo