Sunday, February 24, 2019

Musical Sunday


The Irish singer/songwriter Eithne Pádraigín Ní Bhraonáin, better known simply as "Enya," has a wonderful, etherial voice that I find relaxing and exciting at the same time. This song is not only a beautiful melody, but also a great Viennese Waltz tempo to which I have danced many times ...



Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


And it's the last Cartoon Saturday for this ... um ... interesting month ...

TV actor Jussie Smollett continued to insist on his innocence after Chicago police unveiled mountains of evidence that he had staged a hate crime of which he was the victim in order to improve his salary on the popular show "Empire;" North Carolina will re-run its contested 9th District House of Representatives election after revelations that the state GOP had engaged in massive voting fraud; Venezuelan President Maduro closed his nation's border with Brazil to prevent delivery of food and medical aid he claimed was a US plan to destabilize his administration; Peter Tork, a member of the popular 1960s band The Monkees, died at the age of 77; and a Coast Guard officer was arrested after it was discovered that he was using his work computer to research mass murder and plan widespread domestic terrorist attacks.

Between Donald Trump, Congress, and the loonies of the left and right, it seems appropriate to offer up a selection of cartoons this week featuring clowns ... specifically, riffs on the car that seems to hold an infinite number of them ...

They can cause terrifying accidents ...


They often need special options ...


HOV violations? Not here! ...


When alien abductions go wrong ...


Clowns travel by air, too ...


The final practical exam ...


Clowns traveling by air, part 2 ...


Cars, strollers, whatever ...


I wonder if he checked the back seat, trunk, glove compartment, etc ...


Did you ever wonder who designed those cars? ...


And that finishes up our last Cartoon Saturday for the otherwise depressing month of February. Nothing like a reminder that clowns can, indeed, be funny when they're not elected or appointed.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow and mellow out with a classic from Enya on Musical Sunday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, February 22, 2019

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Last collection for the month of February ...

I'd like the butter pecan or the chocolate mint one, please ...


Sounds like something Trump would do ...


Good dog, bad cat ...


Guard dog, cheap ...


Now, that's real gun safety ...


Use the cat drop, instead ...


When you don't want to pay a lot for an obituary notice ...


And the other part would be? ...


That about sums it up ...


Thank goodness there's no hot sauce there! ...


And that's it for this month. Hope you've enjoyed these collections of the weird, and that you'll send me any that you find ... your contributions are always gratefully accepted.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Poetry Sunday


This past Thursday we celebrated Valentine's Day, our annual homage to romantic love and to the pocketbooks of the nation's florists, greeting card manufacturers, and candy makers. This week's poem takes a different look at the sort of gift one might give to one's Valentine ...

Valentine

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.
Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.


I like onions, but I think I'll stick with the cute card or the kissogram.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Another week gone by ... oy ...

William Barr was confirmed as the new Attorney General, replacing Jeff Sessions as Donald Trump's go-to scapegoat; Amazon cancelled its plans to build one of its two new campuses in New York City, citing local political opposition; as tax season ramps up, many Americans are paying more in tax or receiving smaller refunds despite the GOP's much-ballyhooed tax cut; Congress passed a spending bill without all the wall funding Donald Trump wanted, avoiding a shutdown but setting up a major Constitutional fight as Trump declared a national emergency to get his funding; and the nation marked the first anniversary of the Parkland High School mass murder on Thursday without evidence of any lessons learned.

This week, how about cartoons about the Ten Commandments because, well, why not? ...

So it's said ...


Press "Enter" to accept, "Escape" to sin ...


Competition can be tough ...


Or maybe some inserted ad with a notation that "commandments will resume after this ad" ...


In law, they're called "loopholes" ...


Then and now ...


Some things never change ...


Ah, autocorrect ...


Or retweets, either ...


There's always someone with a stupid question ...


Honor thy father and thy mother, but not necessarily the present occupant of the White House, a regular violator of at least two of the other Commandments. You can figure which ones.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow,  on Poetry Sunday.

Bilbo

Friday, February 15, 2019

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2019


Yes, it's that time again ... time flies, doesn't it?

Ladies and gentlemen, Dear Readers, it is with no small amount of sadness that I announce

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for February, 2019


And the award goes to

Representative Ilhan Omar (D, MN-5)


Representative Omar, hailed as one of the new generation of progressive women elected to the House in 2018, delivered a crushing disappointment this past week when she showed herself to be every bit as arrogantly biased as the worst of the GOP. Ms Omar accused American political supporters of Israel of being motivated by money rather than principle when she tweeted "It's all about the Benjamins* baby.” After receiving a firestorm of criticism for her comments, she claimed she never intended to offend her constituents or Jewish Americans, tweeting out an "unequivocal" apology, but the damage had already been done.

With an inept and ham-handed attempt to address the problem of powerful lobbyists and their money in our political system, Ms Omar squandered the moral high ground she could easily have claimed, allowed Republicans to adopt a holier-than-thou attitude, and deflected attention from the miserable record of the GOP. She then adopted another trick from the GOP playbook by angrily snapping at a CNN reporter trying to question her about her actions by asking the reporter "What is wrong with you?," then snidely telling the reporter, “Yes I tweeted, and there’s a response. You can run that. Have a nice day.”

For the sad and reprehensible performance by someone who should have known better, Representative Ilhan Omar is named our Left-Cheek Ass Clown of the month for February, 2019. Let us hope she grows up and does not merit future awards.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* A slang reference to $100 bills.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Should Everybody Vote?


This is going to be a little long and rambling, so bear with me. It's one of those topics I know will be loved and hated in equal measure.

GOP lawmakers in many states have made unfortunate names for themselves and their party by imposing onerous limitations on persons likely to vote for the other party ... not in so many words, but under the guise of "ensuring the sanctity of the ballot box" or "protecting against rampant* voter fraud." These efforts continue at the national level, where Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell** recently scoffed at a draft bill to make Election Day a national holiday, calling it "the "Democratic Politician Protection Act" and describing it as a "power grab" that changed "the rules of Americans politics for the exclusive benefit of the Democratic Party." That bill would have, in addition to making Election Day a national holiday and thus enabling millions of working people to more easily vote, also called for presidential candidates to release their tax returns, added a matching system for small donations, required super PACs to disclose donors who give more than $10,000, and prohibited voter purging. I find it difficult to see this as a "power grab," but then I'm not anxious to turn the clock back 150 years, either.

There are legitimate issues with the mechanics of voting, but beyond that we have a general problem with the acceptance of civic responsibilities. For instance, I'm not sure that making Election Day a national holiday would solve the problem of low voter turnout, partly because such a holiday would likely not be enforceable (look at how many retail and service businesses continue to operate normally on national holidays), and partly because many people don't vote because they've been turned off by the unseemly mud-slinging circus that our elections have become. There's also the problem that many otherwise well-qualified candidates are unwilling to subject themselves and their families to the gutter tactics of modern political campaigns, leaving the field open to those who are less-qualified or who seek power for its own sake.

Yes, there are a great many problems with our voting system, even without considering the impact of the anachronistic Electoral College***.

But I think a very large part of the problem also lies with the voting public itself.

In 2016, enough citizens voted for a supremely unqualified con man to allow him to lose the popular vote but win the election in the Electoral College and go on to lead one of the most chaotic, disruptive, and divisive administrations in our history. How did this happen?

One can make the argument that previous administrations were out of touch with the needs and interests of many Americans and that those people, anxious for a change to an administration that would listen to them and fix their problems, turned to a candidate who told them what they wanted to hear.

But why did those people make that choice? Why did they believe that a bombastic, secretive, self-described billionaire whose homes are decorated with gold, who had never held a blue-collar job of any type, who had never served in the military, whose business record reflects a string of bankruptcies, lawsuits, and the shameless stiffing of creditors, who was several times divorced and had been accused of sexual misconduct by numerous women ... why did voters believe that this person, whose only qualification was supreme self-confidence and the ability to whip audiences to a frenzy with pithy bumper-sticker slogans, deserved to be the President of the United States?

At the risk of bringing the wrath of the Internet down upon my head, I have to ask: should everyone be allowed to vote? Should there be requirements other than citizenship and a minimum age that apply to the right to vote? While I agree in principle that every citizen of the republic should have a voice in the election of his (or her) representatives, I also believe it's incumbent upon each citizen to understand the structure and function of their government, comprehend the issues at play in the election, and be able to realistically evaluate the qualifications and competence of candidates for office. It appears to me - based on the results of the last election and the quality of many comments posted on the Internet - that many of our citizens cannot do any of these. For many reasons, the voting public has been dumbed down to the point where it can be swayed by the airy, uninformed promises of an endlessly bloviating con artist.

Although I realize that it will never happen because it flies in the face of our evolved political traditions, and that the very suggestion will enrage many at all points on the political spectrum (but mostly on the far ends), I believe that in order to register to vote a person must:

1. Be a citizen of the United States (duh...);

2. Be 18 years of age on election day (see the 26th Amendment); and,

3. Complete a course of instruction in basic civics and government, either as a routine part of a high-school-level education or, if necessary, as a mandatory requirement for voter registration. This course would cover the Constitution, the structure and function of the national government and that of the individual's state of residence, the rights and privileges of citizenship, and the economics of government (who pays for what, and how).

It would also be nice to be able to impose a requirement that each registered voter subscribe to multiple news sources representing varying points of view, but that's a bridge waaaay too far and I don't know how it could be enforced in the present media environment.

Should everyone vote? Can we impose reasonable requirements that do not unduly limit our most basic civic responsibility? Whether you agree with me or not, I care what you think. Leave a comment.

Have a good day. Vote, but do it carefully.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Yet continually unproven.

** A five-time Ass Clown awardee and winner of the 2018 Ass Clown of the Year Award.

*** While there are those who argue that the Electoral College is an essential protector of our form of representative government, I am not one of them.

† Like many other populations, like Germany under Hitler, Venezuela under Chavez and Maduro, Iran under the Mullahs)

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Musical Sunday


This past Monday we celebrated the birthday of Australian pop singer Natalie Imbruglia, whose biggest hit was this one, for which she won a Grammy for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance in 1999 ...



Have a good day, and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, February 09, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Oy. Just, oy ...

Donald Trump delivered his second State of the Union address this past Tuesday, a speech hailed as a brilliant combination of distortion and self-congratulation - the Democratic response was delivered by Georgia Democratic star Stacey Abrams; Virginia politics fell into chaos after two major Democratic leaders - the Governor and the Attorney General - found themselves in political danger after old pictures of them in blackface were published, and a third - the Lieutenant Governor - was accused of sexual assault; and Pope Francis publicly admitted for the first time that clerics had sexually abused nuns, and that the issue that was "still going on" within the Catholic Church.

Since Valentine's Day is coming up on Thursday, I figured a collection of cartoons about Cupid would be appropriate for today ...

Sometimes it takes a little effort ...


The desire for non-commitment goes high-tech ...


Playing defense ...


Another way to play defense ...


Cupid may need some of those armor-piercing arrows ...


Oops ...


Been there ...


Nothing like a little extra insurance ...


Cupid may not want to go with the updated equipment after all ...


There's an app for that ...


Happy Valentine's Day. I realize that the whole thing is a conspiracy hatched by the world's florists, candy-makers, restauranteurs, but we may as well make the most of it. Do something nice for your significant other.

More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday visits Natalie Imbruglia. See you then.

Bilbo

Friday, February 08, 2019

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


First selection for February!

It must have been a slow news day ...


These stupid anti-vax people are getting way out of hand ...


I wonder if, in this case, MMA meant Macaroon and Muffin Assault ...


I've heard this in other places, too ...


Har, de har-har-har!! ...


Insufficient diversity? ...


There's got to be a great story here ...


This isn't as funny as you might think ... some years ago my daughter gave me a little statue of a monkey made out of "compressed, sanitized zoo manure," marketed as a "Dung Buddy." It was a great conversation piece in the office ...


He may have thought it was gone ... you know, Brexit and all that ...


I'm not sure this would be considered as good a Valentine's Day gift as they think ...


And there you have it - your first collection of editorial and signage gems for the new month ... hope you enjoyed them. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we will take a cartoon look at - what else? - Valentine's Day. See you then.

Bilbo