Friday, May 31, 2019

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


And away we go ...

Does anyone remember the character Joe Btfsplk from the old "Lil' Abner" cartoons? ... he's probably prime for a cabinet post in the Trump administration ...


Who goes to college for an education? Nowadays, you go for the massive debt ...


Anything else I could add would get me in trouble ...


That's quite a baby ...


I think I'd spend ¥90 for something that potentially refreshing ...


I think someone ought to have rethought the font ...


Sadly, that's how it usually works out ...


I'd charge a lot more for the stupid questions ...


Well, yes, someone will. One hopes it will represent an improvement over the last one ...


What happens when you don't pay the Sports Page editor quite enough ...


And sic transit gloria May ... the month is finally over. Come back tomorrow to see if we manage to get a better throw of the dice in June. Cartoon Saturday awaits - be here.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Musical Sunday


I despise lawyers for many reasons, both personal and in the public interest. This wonderful ditty by Tom Paxton pretty much sums up the horror we're facing as the population of lawyers soars ...



One wonders how God missed the lawyers when he/she was selecting plagues to visit on the Egyptians. Who needs all-consuming locusts, rivers of blood, and darkness at noon when you can have lawyers to do it all?

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming

Bilbo

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Where do we come up with these weeks? ...

Theresa May resigned as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, unable to make a Brexit deal anyone could live with; Donald Trump, in an attempt to prove that his presidential campaign was "spied upon," empowered his pet attorney general to declassify and publicly release sensitive documents; accused sexual predator Harvey Weinstein and board members of his former studio are reported to have tentatively reached a $44 million deal to resolve lawsuits filed by women who accused Weinstein of sexual misconduct; a man allegedly hiding drugs in his rectum accidentally shot himself in the testicles while trying to hide a pistol he was carrying (concealed) in his pocket; and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Donald Trump exchanged insults after Trump angrily walked out of a meeting he had called to address infrastructure issues.

Times have changed since I was in the dating scene. It's hard to tell nowadays what to say, how to look, where to go, what information to share, when and where it's safe to touch each other, etc, etc. Here's a set of cartoons about the perils and pitfalls of modern dating ...

Great pun, eh? ...


Sounds like my kind of event ...


It's all how you look at it ...


Well, he gets a Gentleman's C for execution ...


Well, it's a bouquet of sorts ...


It's where I'd go ...


You can't be too careful nowadays ...


Dating, 2019 ...


Oddly enough, I've met some interesting people in TSA lines ...


It's not quite the reaction he'd hoped for ...


Have a good day, a great weekend, and a successful date if you have one. Nowadays, a "successful date" is one that you can afford and doesn't end up involving a taser, pepper spray, or a restraining order.

More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns.

Bilbo

Friday, May 24, 2019

The Left Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2019


Although it's frequently (okay, almost always) difficult to make a choice among the contenders clamoring for recognition as standout ass clowns, every once in a while a nominee comes along whose towering ass clownery so far exceeds that of other potential nominees that his/her designation is a foregone conclusion ... and so it is today. Without the least doubt or question, designation as

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2019


is presented to

Former Kansas Secretary of State,
Immigration Firebrand,
and
Wannabe Immigration Czar

Kris Kobach


In a time of over-the-top demagogues and monumental egotists in our government, Kris Kobach stood out this past week when the New York Times published an article detailing the ten demands he made of Donald Trump in order to be enticed to take the proposed administration position of "Immigration Czar." You can read the whole article by Maggie Haberman and Annie Karni here; here are Lord Kobach's ten demands:

1. Office in the West Wing.

2. Walk-in privileges with the president.

3. Assistant to the President rank - at highest pay level for WH senior staff.

4. Staff of 7 people (2 attorneys, 2 research analysts, 1 scheduler, 1 media person, 1 assistant).

5. POTUS sits down individually with Czar and the secretaries of Homeland Security, Defense, Justice, Ag, Interior, and Commerce, and tells each of the Secretaries to follow the directives of the Czar without delay, subject to appeal to the President in cases of disagreement.

6. 24/7 access to either a DHS or DOD jet. Czar must be on the border every week.

7. Ability to spend weekends in KS with family on way from border back to DC, unless POTUS needs Czar elsewhere.

8. Security detail if deemed necessary after security review.

9. Serve as the face of Trump immigration policy - the principal spokesman on television and in the media.

10. Promise that by November 1, 2019, the president will nominate Kris Kobach to be DHS Secretary, unless Kobach wishes to continue in Czar position.

Can you spell chutzpah?

In "honor" of the most amazingly shameless, blatant act of self aggrandizing behavior in the quest for a position in an administration rife with such, Kris Kobach is named the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for May 2019. This is the type of person we have chosen for public office, which says something sad about us.

Election Day is 529 days away. Don't waste it.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns.

Bilbo

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Poetry Sunday


Spring is finally springing, and Robert Frost has something to say about it ...

A Prayer in Spring
by Robert Frost

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird
That suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,
The which it is reserved for God above
To sanctify to what far ends He will,
But which it only needs that we fulfill.


Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Oy ... just, oy ...

Tim Conway, one of the funniest comedians of his era, passed away on Tuesday at age 85; the Trump administration presented its immigration reform plan this week which, despite having some admirable points, was considered dead on arrival in Congress because it offered nothing to appeal to potential Democratic supporters; the unending Brexit morass continues to paralyze the British government; newly unsealed court records show that former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn told special counsel Robert Mueller that people connected to the Trump administration or Congress had contacted him, potentially attempting to influence his willingness to help prosecutors, leading the judge to order relevant documents to be published; and famed architect I.M. Pei, designer of many iconic buildings around the world, died at the age of 102.

This week, in honor of the final episode of Game of Thrones I thought a collection of cartoons featuring dragons would be appropriate ...

Even dragons have to deal with low-value medical insurance ...


That's how it seems to go, nowadays ...


Uh, oh ...


Morning breath can really be obnoxious ...


Working lunch, indeed ...


One of the last ...


Buying off the dragon can be safer than trying to slay it ...


Me, too ...


I hope the defense is not out of challenges ...


Yes, that's a decided advantage ...


And so goes another week of cartoons. For those of you still interested in dragons, check out this wonderful 2004 made-for-TV movie that theorizes how real dragons might have existed.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns.

Bilbo

Friday, May 17, 2019

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Here we go again ...

Well, at least the neighbors will be quiet ...


Hmmm ...


Be especially sure of pire pafety ...


I believe that part of the new Trump immigration reform plan is to encourage immigrants to apply for this position ...


I really don't want to know ...


Hello, Dave ... can  you send the copy editor up here, please? ...


The beast! ...


No intelligent life, here ... 


Slightly used sheep? This one I really, really don't want to know about ...


Why, those scheming bastards ...


I'm going to be busy dodging potatoes the rest of the day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Mothers' Day, 2019


If you were looking for the Poetry Sunday you expected, don't despair. Because today is Mothers' Day, the usual Poetry Sunday will be pushed off until next week so that I can present the twelfth iteration of my traditional Mothers' Day post, slightly revised and updated. It may be recycled and tweaked, but it comes no less from the heart. If you've read it before, just know that everything still applies ... read it again if you like, or come back another day for my thoughts on other things ...

Today is Mothers' Day, the one day each year we set aside to honor the lady we undervalue the other 364. It's the day we remember the person who made our hurts better, explained our homework, cooked our meals, washed our clothes, drove us where we needed to go, warned us about our less-savory acquaintances, embarrassed us in front of our friends, and did her best to point us down the straight line of a moral and upright life.

Mothers are the wonderful and woefully underappreciated people from whom the Army and the Navy stole their one-time recruiting slogans - the Army's "We do more before 9 AM than most people do all day," and the Navy's "It's not just a job, it's an adventure." With all due respect to Soldiers and Sailors everywhere ... you don't have a clue.

Somewhere in my web surfing I found this little riff on how we look at our Mothers at different ages:

Age 4: Mommy can do anything!
Age 8: Mom knows a lot!
Age 12: Mother doesn't know everything.
Age 14: Mother doesn't know anything.
Age 16: Mother is so old-fashioned.
Age 18: Her? She's out of it.
Age 25: Mom might know something about that.
Age 35: Before we decide, let's ask Mom.
Age 45: What would Mom have thought about that?
Age 65: I wish I could talk that over with Mom.

It's true.

My mother passed away eighteen years ago at the far-too-young age of 74. She spent a long and honorable life raising four children who, I like to think, made her proud ... most of the time, anyway. And in her twilight years, her once-formidable mind ravaged by Alzheimer's Disease, she missed much of the result of her love and care and sacrifice - a son who can dance (and who may yet write that book she thought he had in him, instead of a blog), a small army of grandchildren, and six beautiful great-grandchildren who will never know her love and wisdom and the off-the-wall sense of humor* that brightened the lives of everyone who knew her.


The next generation of mothers is moving the family forward. Between them, my beloved daughters Yasmin and Tabitha** are raising the world's six greatest grandchildren (Marcy, Joe, Noah, Leya, Elise, and Ava). And someday those wonderful grandchildren will sit down on Mothers' Day and reflect - just as their opa does today - on the lady who gave up so much of her own life and dreams to make them who they are.

And so again this year, I wish my own Agnes, Yasmin and Tabitha, my sister Lisa and sisters-in-law Laura and Brenda, fellow bloggers Amanda and Fiona, my dear friends Kathy and Lioudmila, and all the other mothers out there doing the world's toughest job, a very happy Mothers' Day and many more to come. We couldn't be what we are, or do what we do, without you.

And lest you think I'm getting too maudlin about the whole thing, here's a picture from long ago of my Dad with four then and future moms: my daughter Yasmin, my sister Lisa, Agnes, and my mother ...


We're an odd family, but somehow we've turned out more-or-less all right. Good parents will do that to you.

Oh, and in case you haven't seen it, here's "The Mom Song" by comedian Anita Renfroe, set to the tune of The William Tell Overture ...



Have a good day, and take the time to give your Mother a hug and a kiss. Someday, you'll wish you had.

Bilbo

* Every time you groan at one of my puns, you should be grateful that you never had to go down in flames in a pun war with Mom.

** I don’t think of Tabitha as an “in-law.”

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Another week in the trumpiverse ...

A report in the New York Times analyzed Donald Trump's business activities in the 1980s and 1990s and revealed staggering losses and tax avoidance at a time when Trump was advertising himself as a titan of business acumen; in another bid for attention, North Korea fired more missiles - the equivalent of a military temper tantrum; the British royal family greeted its newest member - Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, seventh in line to the throne; police in Los Angeles confiscated over 1,000 guns from a home in an upscale neighborhood; and there was yet another school shooting, this time in Colorado, with one dead and eight injured ... go, Second Amendment.

This week, in honor of tomorrow's celebration of Mothers' Day, I thought a collection of cartoons celebrating mothers and motherhood would be appropriate ...

Even aliens have mommies ...


Ouch ...


Moms are the same all over ...


It's a matter of perspective ...


Never give up, Mom ...


The burdens of motherhood ...


You can't be too careful, even on Mothers' Day ...


Mother Ship ... har, de har-har-har! ...


Moms need to do things when they have the time ...


Yes, that would be how it would work ...


And that's it for this week! Be sure to wish your mom a happy Mothers' Day tomorrow ... she's earned the recognition.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when I share my traditional Mothers' Day tribute to the ladies we love.

Bilbo