A Blue Suit At a Funeral

This past Friday, the President of the United States of America attended the funeral of Pope Francis in Rome, wearing a blue suit.

It's not the end of the world you might say, quit being so petty.

Wearing a blue suit to a funeral would be a minor faux pas for most people, but Der Furor isn't most people - for better or worse, he's the President, the representative of all 340 million Americans, not just the 77 million that he always reminds us voted for him in the last election. And the funeral he was attending was for Pope Francis, a man far more honored and beloved than he will ever be.

Presidents have entire staffs dedicated to protocol issues. Do you not suppose that one of them told him that it's appropriate to wear a black suit to a funeral (and that the guidance provided by the Vatican had  requested that attendees wear black, the traditional color of mourning)? He's also married to a former model who, one supposes, knows about appropriate dress for special events (and who, in fact, dressed appropriately). Do you not suppose that she might have reminded him of the solemnity of the occasion? 

It's hardly a secret that I utterly detest Der Furor, who I think is a despicable human being professionally unqualified and intellectually and morally unfit for the presidency. He has no respect for others and pays not the least attention to the well-being, problems, and feelings of anyone but himself. But still one might think he could bestir himself to dress appropriately for the funeral of the Pope.

I should note that Prince William of the UK also wore a blue suit and former President Joe Biden wore a blue, rather than a black tie. The British population can make of the Prince's attire what it will, and Mr Biden was attending in his capacity as a private citizen (although he should also have followed the full dress code, which included a black tie for men) ... my concern is with the disrespectful message sent by the President of the United States - a sartorial finger prominently shown to the rest of the world.

We deserve better.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

History Lessons Learned and Not Learned

Those of you who are my friends on Facebook may read the historical summary I post every morning. As a history buff, it always fascinates me to think about what famous figures were born and what significant things happened each day, and I share those with my readers in a short post in the hopes they find them equally interesting ... or, at least, entertaining.

This past Saturday, April 26th, was the date in 1933 on which the multi-hatted Nazi figure Hermann Göring established the Geheime Staatspolizei, or Gestapo. Translated from the German, it was called the Secret State Police, and is remembered for the fearsome brutality that has made it the historic standard for violent and unchecked government power ... and a warning of its dangers that must always be remembered.

Unfortunately, this lesson has been unlearned or ignored by the current administration, which has established quite a track record for bringing down the weight of the federal legal system on the heads not only of those who have displeased Der Furor, but of ordinary Americans as well. Consider these things that have happened just in the first hundred days of the Orange Airhorn's presidency:

At least five law firms have been targeted via royal decree executive order for their work on behalf of clients who have incurred Der Furor's anger. 

At least two individual citizens - Chris Krebs and Miles Taylor - have been specifically targeted via royal decree executive order for displeasing Der Furor. 

A noncitizen US resident married to an American citizen was arrested and deported (erroneously, by the administration's own admission) to a notorious prison in El Salvador ... from which the government refuses to free him and return him to the United States.  

Rumeysa Oztürk, a Turkish student attending Tufts University, was arrested by US immigration officials in civilian clothes on a city street near Boston and was shipped to a detention facility in Louisiana. According to the Department of Homeland Security, she is guilty of "engag(ing) in activities in support of Hamas, a foreign terrorist organization that relishes the killing of Americans." She has been accused of anti-semitic activities, which appears to be the latest all-purpose excuse for the administration to arrest and deport foreign students.

A two-year-old girl, an American citizen according to the 14th Amendment to the Constitution, was deported to Honduras with her non-citizen mother, despite the pleas of her father, who is an American citizen. In another incident, ICE agents arrested and deported to Mexico an undocumented family - including a 10-year-old girl suffering from brain cancer - while they were on their way to an emergency medical appointment.

The FBI arrested a Milwaukee judge they accused of helping a man evade immigration authorities by escorting him and his lawyer out of her courtroom through the jury door; the man was later arrested anyhow. The Attorney General of the United States crowed that, “What has happened to our judiciary is beyond me ... They’re deranged. I think some of these judges think they are beyond and above the law, and they are not. We are sending a very strong message today," and the Director of the FBI tweeted a photo of the arrest, loftily proclaiming that "no one is above the law*" ...

  

Der Furor has ordered the Justice Department to investigate "Act Blue," the primary fundraising organ of the Democratic Party, in an obvious effort to cripple his political opponents. 

And here we are.

Godwin's Law states that, "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison  involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one," and is similar to the logical fallacy known as Reductio ad Hitlerum, which describes comparing the position of one's opponent, with Hitler or the Nazi party, usually for lack of a valid counterargument. Nevertheless, it is not hard to identify at least basic similarities between the current administration's weaponization of the law and the actions of the Third Reich, both in terms of its interpretation and manipulation of the law and its eager employment of the tools of coercion.

Listen to any news conference or public statement by the Attorney General, the Director of Homeland Security, the Director of the FBI, or the President's Press Secretary, compare them to similar statements from nearly a century ago, and wonder at the parallels.

And if, nevertheless, you find yourself thinking that this is all fine and those targeted deserve what they get, remember the admonition of history podcaster Dan Carlin:

Imagine all that power in the hands of someone you loathe.

As I've said here before, when the President of the United States gets around to turning his sights on you, your America won't seem quite so great.

Have a good day, and remember that it most certainly can happen here. And it is.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Unless, of course, they are Der Furor, a member of his family, or are extremely wealthy.

Poetry Sunday

This past Wednesday, April 23rd, we celebrated the birthday of American actress and teen idol of the 1950s and 1960s Alexandra Zuck, better known by her professional name, Sandra Dee. She passed away in 2005 after a career of ups and downs, and is little remembered today.

This long, but easy-reading poem by Leland Waldrip envisions the way we imagine life used to be, filtered through the lens of nostalgia ...

The Land of Sandra Dee

By Leland Waldrip

Long ago and far away,

In a land that time forgot,

Before the days of Dylan

Or the dawn of Camelot.

There lived a race of innocents,

And they were you and me,

Long ago and far away

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

Oh, there was truth and goodness

In that land where we were born,

Where navels were for oranges,

And Peyton Place was porn.

For Ike was in the White House,

And Hoss was on TV,

And God was in his heaven

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

We learned to gut a muffler,

We washed our hair at dawn,

We spread our crinolines to dry

In circles on the lawn.

And they could hear us coming

All the way to Tennessee,

All starched and sprayed and rumbling 

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

We longed for love and romance,

And waited for the prince,

And Eddie Fisher married Liz,

And no one's seen him since.

We danced to "Little Darlin'",

And Sang to "Stagger Lee"

And cried for Buddy Holly

In the Land of Sandra Lee.

Only girls wore earrings then,

And three was one too many,

And only boys wore flat-top cuts,

Except for Jean McKinney.

And only in our wildest dreams

Did we expect to see

A boy named George with Lipstick

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

We fell for Frankie Avalon,

Annette as oh, so nice,

And when they made a movie,

They never made it twice. 

We didn't have a Star Trek Five,

Or Psycho Two and Three,

Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,

And Chester had a limp,

And Reagan was a Democrat

Whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr Wizard,

But not a Mr T,

And Oprah couldn't talk yet

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

We had our share of heroes,

We never thought they'd go,

At least not Bobby Darin,

Or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal,

And life was yet to be,

And Elvis was forever,

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

We'd never seen the rock band

That was Grateful to be Dead,

And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, 

And Zeppelins weren't Led.

And Beatles lived in gardens then,

And Monkees in a tree,

Madonna was a virgin

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

We'd never heard of Microwaves,

Or telephones in cars,

And babies might be bottle-fed,

But they weren't grown in jars.

And pumping iron got wrinkles out,

And "gay" meant fancy-free,

And dorms were never coed

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

We hadn't seen enough of jets

To talk about the lag,

And microchips were what was left 

At the bottom of the bag.

And Hardware was a box of nails,

And bytes came from a flea,

And rocket ships were fiction

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

Buicks came with portholes,

And side shows came with freaks,

And bathing suits came big enough 

To cover both your cheeks.

And Coke came just in bottles,

And skirts came to the knee,

And Castro came to power

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

We had no Crest with Fluoride,

We had no Hill Street Blues,

We all wore superstructure bras

Designed by Howard Hughes.

We had no patterned pantyhose

Or Lipton herbal tea

Or prime-time ads for condoms

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

There were no golden arches,

No Perriers to chill,

And fish were not called Wanda,

And cats were not called Bill.

And middle-aged was thirty-five

And old was forty-three,

And ancient were our parents

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

But all things have a season,

Or so we've heard them say,

And now instead of Maybelline

We swear by Retin-A.

And they send us invitations

To join AARP,

We've come a long way, baby,

From the Land of Sandra Dee.

So now we face a brave new world

In slightly larger jeans,

And wonder why they're using

Smaller print in magazines.

And we tell our children's children

of the way it used to be,

Long ago and far away

In the Land of Sandra Dee.

Have a good day, and remember how things used to be, before the country lost its collective mind. 

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

In the immortal words of Chester A. Riley, "What a revoltin' development this is!"  

Pope Francis has died at the age of 88; Der Furor has pardoned a Nevada Republican politician who was convicted of using money raised for a statue honoring a slain police officer to pay personal expenses, including plastic surgery; Secretary of State Marco Rubio has announced a plan to radically downsize (gut) and refocus the State Department to align with Der Furor's whims; federal agents arrested a Wisconsin judge and charged her with obstruction and concealing an individual to avoid arrest for allegedly trying to help an undocumented immigrant evade arrest; and in England, a man who bought a car to replace his car that was stolen discovered he had accidentally bought back his own stolen car when he discovered his home address in the onboard GPS.

In honor of the decent - not wonderful, but far better than now - economy we had just a few months ago, how about a collection of cartoons about economics?

That's pretty much the same thing Will Rogers said many years ago* ... 

I think that's a good plan ...

The debt ceiling only matters when the other party is in power ...

It's a lot easier for you to sacrifice now for a big payoff later when you can actually afford to sacrifice now ...

That's pretty much how I'm thinking ...

If it works for him, I'm next in line ...

I'd go for that strategy, too, except that I can't afford the detector ...

Ah, yes ... Der Furor's economic advisors are planning well ...

It looks like a valid market indicator to me ...

Giving new meaning to the advice to "hang tight ... the market will recover" ...

And we've trickled down to the end of this week's collection of tariff-free cartoons - I hope they gave you something to smile about in these economically challenging times. 

Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for a nostalgic Poetry Sunday. See you then with more thoughts.

Bilbo

* In a 1932 column criticizing Herbert Hoover's policies and approach to The Great Depression, Will Rogers wrote:"The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover was an engineer. He knew that water trickles down. Put it uphill and let it go and it will reach the driest little spot. But he didn't know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow's hands." 

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

And awayyyy we go with the last Great Moments edition of the month! ...

I think the street namer didn't pass the 5st grade ...

I'm sure there's a story behind this, but I'm not sure I want to hear it ...

One-stop shopping! ...

I think it's parents who are to blame, but what do I know? ...

Yes. Yes, it would ...

I think I'll just wait and follow someone who knows how to get in ...

Anything I could say would just get me in trouble, so I'll leave this one right here ...

The interviews ought to be interesting ...

Maybe he's just sick of the whole thing ...

When the AI-enhanced video system came from the low bidder ...

And that's it for our second and last collection of Great Moments for April - I hope they gave you a much-needed lift at the end of another bizarre week.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday - more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Ass Clown Special Award

I wish I didn't have to present so many Ass Clown Special Awards, but difficult times call for difficult decisions. With genuinely admirable people thin on the ground, I could present these awards weekly, if not daily, and never finish skimming the chunks that constantly bubble to the surface of the ass-clownery cesspool.

And so here we are, less than a week after naming April's Left-Cheek Ass Clown, and I'm ready to tear open the envelope yet again.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the latest 

Ass Clown Special Award

is presented to

Der Furor's Obsequious Cabinet

It's long been known that Der Furor is one of the most vain and narcissistic of men, and that the best way to gain his attention and (at least temporarily) support is to heap praise on him. And that praise is best heaped by the people the Orange Airhorn has elevated to positions of responsibility to which most are scarcely qualified.

Just a day after Der Furor backtracked on a disastrous tariff policy that sent global markets into turmoil, cabinet members lined up to massage the his ego with sycophantic language that would not be out of place in a North Korean broadcast. Here are a few direct quotes from the meeting, which resembled a loyalty parade in a third-world dictatorship:

Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins: “I think that what you have assembled in your vision is a turning point and an inflection point in American history. And so just being a part of that is the greatest honor, so thank you for that ... they [farmers and ranchers] know that your vision will move us into an age of prosperity for all Americans ... they are so grateful and really, really excited for your leadership.”

Kelly Loeffler, head of the Small Business Administration: "Mr. President, on behalf of America's manufacturers, I want to thank you for standing up to the Chinese communist party and fighting for our main streets, for our workers ... Main Street is grateful for you."

Attorney General Pam Bondi: “You were overwhelmingly elected by the biggest majority ... The Americans want you to be president because of your agenda, and the courts are ruling that you have the authority to determine how the money of this country will be spent. That's what the American citizens wanted, and that's what they're getting.”

Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick:  “They [the many unnamed nations he claims are trying to negotiate new trade deals with the United States] have come with offers that they never, ever, ever would have come with but for the moves that the President has made, demanding that people treat the United States with respect. We're getting the respect we deserve now.”

I could go on, but my barf bag is full.

One hopes that the members of this cabinet are as competent at their jobs as they are at kissing the Orange Airhorn's backside. One hopes, yes, but one expects little.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we present this Ass Clown Special Award to the cringingly servile cabinet officers of Der Furor's second administration. If posterior osculation was an Olympic sport, they'd sweep the gold.

Have a good day. Demand more, but expect less.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

The Four Horsemen of The Administration

As those of you who are regular readers know by now, I am not a religious person in the sense it is understood in modern America. I am, though, fascinated by the concept of religion and the trappings we have devised around it in our search for meaning in a chaotic and unforgiving universe. It's one of those trappings I want to think about today.

Chapter 6 of the biblical book of Revelations speaks of what we know as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

who are described vividly in the text ...

Verse 2 introduces the first horseman, usually called Conquest, although he is not actually named in the text: "... and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer."

Verse 4 speaks of the second horseman, unnamed, but generally understood to be War: "And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword."

Verses 5 and 6 tell of the third horseman, likewise unnamed, but known as Famine: "... and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine."

And finally, Verse 8 presents the last of the four horsemen, and the only one actually given a name - Death: "And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth."

I have long been fascinated by the idea of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as symbols of the horrors we inflict upon ourselves, and it occurs to me that they are well represented at the highest levels of the current administration:

Conquest, of course, is represented by Der Furor, who certainly craves the crown our Constitution denies him* and is always focused on conquering his enemies, real and imagined. And I'm quite sure that the idea of riding a white horse while wearing a crown would appeal to his unjustifiably inflated sense of himself as a heroic figure.

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, probably the most outspokenly aggressive** (and unqualified) person ever to occupy the office, gallops in on the red horse of War, loudly proclaiming his doctrine of maximum lethality and minimum empathy and compassion***.

Upon the black horse of Famine sits Secretary of State Marco Rubio, whose destruction of the US Agency for International Development and relentless paring back of foreign aid programs has slashed vital food aid provided to some of the world's most desperately needy people. Honorable mention might go to his sidekick, Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins, whose enthusiastic support of Der Furor's economic policies wreaks havoc on American farmers and the harvests they will no longer be able to send to starving populations.

And the final horse, the pale horse representing Death, trots in bearing Robert F. Kennedy, Jr, the Secretary of Health and Human Services, who is certainly doing his best to empower Death by enabling the unchecked spread of diseases once thought vanquished.  

There are many interpretations of the meaning of The Four Horsemen, and they have appeared in various guises in film and literature. But they ride today in the guise of members we have elected or have seen appointed to offices where they can do terrible damage.

I'm afraid that, in measurable ways and for many of us, Hell does follow with them.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* At least until Justices Alito and Thomas convince the Supreme Court to grant it to him.

** If you think about it, Secretaries of Defense have tended to be less bellicose than the presidents they serve, largely because many of them have themselves "seen the elephant" and are thus more cautious of sending our men and women into harm's way.

*** One might argue that empathy and compassion are inconsistent with the waging of war, but war traditionally is governed by rules designed to protect the innocent. It should be noted also that the ability to deliver deadly force is not the sole province of hairy-chested macho white men, as proven by the millions persons of every combination of sex, race, religion, ethnicity, and sexual orientation who have served the nation with distinction over the years.

The Semantics of Tyranny

One day, many years ago, I was complaining to one of my lawyer friends* about the convoluted wording of a particular document, and I wondered why lawyers couldn't just speak and write in plain English. He explained that lawyers write in this way because every word and phrase they use has a precise, legally-understood-and-agreed-upon meaning that has been settled through decades of litigation and court rulings; thus, I should be happy for the semantic protection that judicial Sanskrit provides through precise definition of terms. 

That was then, this is now.

The legal profession has hardly covered itself in glory as it tries to deal with the challenge of a president and an administration willing (and eager) to push the boundaries of what can be considered ethical, moral, legal, and Constitutional ... it's Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award last Friday was richly deserved, and there's no need to plow that field again. Today, I want to talk about its torture of the language ... about the semantics of tyranny.

Der Furor's Departments of Justice, State, and Homeland Security are fighting bitterly to keep from having to repatriate Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia, a man they admit was mistakenly arrested and deported to a prison in El Salvador. 

The State Department relies on the language of diplomacy to claim helplessness because Mr Abrego Garcia is "in the custody of a sovereign nation," unwilling to say "we're paying a tinpot dictator six million dollars to warehouse people we don't like." 

The Justice Department quibbles over the meanings of "facilitate" and "effectuate" as it semantically fences with courts unable to simply say, "you admit you effed up, so bring the unjustly imprisoned man home RIGHT NOW." 

Deputy Assistant to the President and "Counterterrorism Czar" Sebastian Gorka says anyone advocating for due process for Mr. Abrego Garcia could be viewed as "aiding and abetting a terrorist" and be federally charged. 

The "Department of Government Efficiency" boasts of eliminating billions of dollars in fraud and waste, but is unable to provide documentary evidence of anything remotely close to that number. It advertises the termination of wasteful contracts, but does not define why they were wasteful.

The Department of Health and Human Services claims to be making America Healthy again, while pursuing policies that actively undermine public health. 

Der Furor and the Department of State have defined the word person as used in the Constitution to mean "United States Citizen." Curiously, the original text of the Constitution (as signed in 1789) does not include the word citizen. That word does not appear until the adoption of the 14th Amendment, which states that "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside." And your government is now attempting to remove that guarantee of birthright citizenship.

I love language and words. But I draw the line at the weaponization of words - the semantics of tyranny - as an increasingly authoritarian government tortures the language until it confesses a message that runs counter to everything our country used to stand for. This marvelously framed photo of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt - a lady wholly unencumbered by honesty and accuracy - pretty much sums things up. 

Have a good day, and remember that words matter. When this administration speaks, listen for what it's really saying.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* There are one or two that I still respect, despite my general detestation of lawyers.

Musical Sunday

I'm pretty sure I've shared this wonderful, totally NSFW song before, but it never gets old and it's about as appropriate to the times as I can imagine. Say hello to Thomas Benjamin Wild, Esquire ...

Here are the lyrics, if you care to follow along ...

I’ve tried, tried, tried

And I’ve tried even more 

I’ve cried, cried, cried 

And I can’t recall what for 

I’ve pressed, I’ve pushed, I’ve yelled, I’ve begged 

In hope of some success 

But the inevitable fact is that 

It never will impress 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

My fucks have runneth dry, 

I’ve tried to go fuck shopping 

But there’s no fucks left to buy 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

Though more fucks I’ve tried to get

I’m over my fuck budget and 

I’m now in fucking debt 

I strive, strive, strive 

To get everything done 

I’ve played by all the rules 

But I’ve very rarely won, 

I’ve smiled, I’ve charmed, I’ve wooed 

I’ve laughed, Alas to no avail 

I’ve run round like a moron, 

To unequivocally fail! 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

My fuck fuse has just blown, 

I’ve been hunting for my fucks all day, 

But they’ve upped and fucked off home, 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

My fuck rations are depleted, 

I’ve rallied my fuck army but 

It’s been fucking defeated! 

The effort has just not been worth 

The time or the expense 

I’ve exhausted all my energy 

For minimal recompense 

The complete lack of acknowledgement 

Has now begun to gall 

And I’ve come to realize that I 

Don’t give a fuck at all! 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

My fucks have flown away, 

My fucks are now so fucked off 

They’ve refused to fucking stay! 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

My fucks have gone insane 

They’ve come back round and passed me 

While they’re fucking off again! 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

My fucks have all dissolved, 

I’ve planned many projects 

But my fucks won’t be involved! 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

My fucks have all been spent, 

They’ve fucked off from the building 

And I don’t know where they went! 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

I’ve no more fucks to give, 

I’ve no more fucks, 

I’ve no more fucks, 

I’ve no more fucks to give!

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. I hope you still have fucks left to give, because I find myself a bit short nowadays.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

How do we keep surviving these weeks? ... 

The 20-year-old son of a sheriff’s deputy used his father's former service weapon to murder two people and wound at least six others at Florida State University; scientists studying the atmosphere of a distant planet called K2-18b have found tentative evidence of molecules which on Earth are only produced by simple organisms; Der Furor has floated an idea to replace the federal income tax with revenue raised through his tariff policies; police arrested and stun-gunned several protesters at a chaotic town hall meeting held by Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene; and in China, an orange toilet bowl brush in the image of Der Furor, first introduced during his first reign, is again popular as a way of protest against his massive tariffs. 

This week's economic news suggested that a collection of cartoons about Humpty Dumpty would be appropriate. Of course, I'm not sure we can look forward to a great fall, but ... 

Maybe it was all his insurance would cover ...

I've always wondered what they could have done ...

I'm not sure they're really needed, but what do I know? ...

When the lawyers get involved ...

That should get some color back into his cheeks ...

I'd double check that paperwork if I were you ...

Now that's quite a sendoff ...

Well, what other collection would it come from? ...

Makes sense to me ...

I'm not sure that's the right rescue team ...

And that's it for this edition of Cartoon Saturday ... it's my way of egging you on into the weekend.

Have a good day and a great weekend. We'll hope for a great fall, but let's get through spring and summer first.

More thoughts coming tomorrow, when we'll bring back an NSFW song that seems to get more timely every day.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2025

The most dangerous aspect of Der Furor's second shot at the presidency is that there are no longer any adults in the room, no longer any experienced and thoughtful civil servants to give sound advice and protect him (and us) from his worst impulses. He has stocked the administration with yes-people and sycophants who owe their positions not to their competence, but to his need for flattery and total domination. His cabinet contains dangerous conspiracy theorists and unqualified ass-kissers. The Supreme Court has a deeply conservative majority, at least three members* of which have serious ethical compromise issues. Political appointees occupy positions across the government for which many - if not most - are clearly unqualified. The unrestricted, unqualified, and dangerously unsupervised agents of the so-called Department of Government Efficiency work busily at tearing the heart out of what was previously a flawed, but generally well-functioning government. And the Republican majorities in the Senate and House are missing in action, cravenly abdicating their Constitutional responsibilities in deference to the most dangerously unqualified man ever to win the presidency.

Only one potential barrier remains to protect the nation from the appalling damage being inflicted by the present administration ... and it is failing us.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the dishonor of designation as 

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2025

is bestowed upon

The American Legal Profession

Over the last few weeks, nine formerly-powerful legal firms have crumbled in the face of royal decrees executive orders aiming to destroy them for their temerity in representing clients who have in some way opposed Der Furor. They have, in the most cowardly and craven fashion, bent the knee before a dangerous demagogue, agreeing to perform a total of nearly a billion dollars in pro bono work on issues important to the Orange Airhorn ... which will almost surely be detrimental at best, and dangerous at worst to the average American. So far, only one firm has pushed back for the rule of law.

Lawyers representing what nowadays passes for the Department of Justice make ludicrous arguments before skeptical judges, attempting to put legal lipstick on the pig of a terribly weaponized government willing to ignore the Constitution, centuries of legal precedent, and simple morality to satisfy Der Furor's need for revenge and power.

As far as I know (not being a lawyer), an attorney must swear an oath to be admitted to the bar in each state, as well as to serve in a legal capacity for the United States government. You can find a list of the oaths for each state here. This is the oath taken by members of the Federal Bar Association:

“I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States; that I will adhere to, and abide by, the Constitution and Bylaws of the Federal Bar Association; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.” 

It is not lost on me that this oath, unlike the oaths required for admission to the bar in nearly every state, does not explicitly require an attorney to exhibit good faith, honesty, and honorable conduct.

I have had utter contempt for the legal profession for many years, based on incompetent representation that once cost my family thousands of dollars and years of avoidable misery. But when huge, powerful law firms fold like cheap card tables in the face of blatantly illegal and unconstitutional threats, leaving the American people at the mercy of a president with dreams of unchecked tyranny, they harm the entire nation, not just a single family. Likewise, when lawyers sworn to uphold the Constitutional guarantees of "liberty and justice for all" deliberately stonewall or ignore court orders and have only the most tenuous relationship with truth and ethical responsibility, none of us is safe.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2025, is The American Legal Profession. One hopes it can grow a spine and remember its responsibilities before it's too late ... but I'm not holding my breath, and neither should you.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we'll visit everybody's favorite good egg, Humpty Dumpty. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, and Brett Kavanaugh, of course.

What Did That Declaration Say, Again?

If you're one of those old enough to remember when we used to learn about actual history, rather than history as interpreted through the filter of MAGA fever dreams, you may recall a document known as The Declaration of Independence. 

This document, written and signed in 1776, detailed the reasons why the American colonies sought independence from a tyrannical king. Here are some of the king's actions cited as reasons for demanding independence ... along with a few present-day observations:

"... cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world." Including remote islands inhabited only by penguins?

"... imposing taxes on us without our consent." Tariffs, anyone? Regardless of what Der Furor would like to have you believe, a tariff is a tax that isn't paid by some foreign government, but by you, the consumer.

"... depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Jury trial." Summarily rounding up and deporting illegal immigrants or accused criminals without providing evidence or allowing the accused their Constitutional rights.

"... transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences." Deporting prisoners to El Salvador and refusing to bring them back, even when it admits the rendition was in error.

"... obstruct(ing) the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers." I suppose this also includes ignoring inconvenient laws and legal decisions with which Der Furor does not agree.

"... erect(ing) a multitude of New Offices, and sen(ding) hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance." (if this isn't a definition of the so-called "Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)," I don't know what is.

"... combin(ing) with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws." I guess this includes working with the president of El Salvador to establish prisons there for US citizens who incur Der Furor's wrath.

I wonder what the signers of the Declaration of Independence would make of Der Furor's aggressively imperial view of the presidency as a kingship free of interference from the great unwashed and their elected representatives. I expect they're turning in their graves.

Have a good day. Watch what's going on carefully, and know that time is running out to save our  representative democracy.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Everything's Dynamic

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines dynamic as "marked by usually continuous and productive activity or change; energetic, forceful." It's a very useful word for our our current political-economic situation.

In the realm of economics, dynamic pricing is the practice of adjusting prices in real-time* based on factors like supply, demand, customer behavior, and market conditions, so as to optimize revenue and maximize profit.

The word dynamic is derived from the Greek word dynamis, meaning "powerful," which also gives us the word dynamite. This is, of course appropriate, because dynamic pricing blows large holes in your budget by sneakily bumping up the prices of things from minute to minute.

You can easily tell which stores are using dynamic pricing to fleece you by looking at the price labels on their shelves - if they're digital rather than traditional clip-ons, they're intended to facilitate those dynamic changes in the price of the things you buy. And you know in your heart that those prices never go down.

In the realm of politics, I think that the word dynamic - indicating the ability to change rapidly - is also useful for apologists in need of a weasel word to describe Der Furor's economic policies (such as they are), as dynamic sounds so much better than chaotic or slapdash. It's also very useful for the Department of Justice, administration lawyers, and the Orange Airhorn's mouthpieces as they dynamically revise the meaning of the Constitution, the law, and what we have previously understood to be our Constitutionally-guaranteed personal freedoms.

The word of the day is dynamic. That's all. Be wary of people using it.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Not to be confused with "House-of-Representatives-Time," which uses a very flexible definition of "day."

What "Weaponization of Government" Actually Looks Like

During the first of Der Furor's stints in the presidency, and throughout the administration of Joe Biden, the endlessly-repeated fever dream of the GOP and the farthest-right orbits of the conservative world was that the federal government had been "weaponized" against them ... that the Biden Justice Department was constantly seeking every possible opportunity to bring down the full weight of the government on the heads of innocent Americans guilty only of opposing the "radical left lunatics" ... as opposed to, say, innocently storming and damaging the Capitol Building and killing several people in the process. 

When they regained power, the Republicans promptly established the United States House Judiciary Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government, under the leadership of firebrand Ohio Representative Jim Jordan, to drill down and prove that the perfidious Democrats had "weaponized" the government against them. By the time the subcommittee was disbanded at the end of the the Congressional session, it had published a report that was long on innuendo and woefully innocent of actual evidence of the alleged weaponization. Proving "weaponization" of the government against conservatives was also a prime focus of the House Oversight and Accountability Committee (also known as the Oversight and Government Reform Committee) under Kentucky Representative James Comer, which relentlessly - if fruitlessly - tried to find evidence of wrongdoing by the Biden administration.

When Der Furor returned to the presidency, one of his first acts was to revitalize the search for the weaponization not found earlier. On his first day in office, Der Furor issued Royal Decree Executive Order 14147, Ending the Weaponization of the Federal Government*. He would, by gawd, find the evidence no one had found before.

What has happened since then has shone a light on the actual weaponization of the power of government against opponents and critics.

Consider the following royal decrees executive orders (EOs) cast down from Olympus by Der Furor**:

EO 14250: Addressing Risks From WilmerHale - accusing the law firm (among other things) of "engag(ing) in obvious partisan representations to achieve political ends, support(ing) efforts to discriminate on the basis of race, back(ing) the obstruction of efforts to prevent illegal aliens from committing horrific crimes and trafficking deadly drugs within our borders, and further(ing) the degradation of the quality of American elections, including by supporting efforts designed to enable noncitizens to vote."

 

EO 14246: Addressing Risks From Jenner & Block - accusing the law firm of (among other things) "engag(ing) in obvious partisan representations to achieve political ends, support(ing) attacks against women and children based on a refusal to accept the biological reality of sex, and back(ing) the obstruction of efforts to prevent illegal aliens from committing horrific crimes and trafficking deadly drugs within our borders."

 

EO 14237: Addressing Risks From Paul Weiss - accusing the law firm of (among other things) "hir(ing) unethical attorney Mark Pomerantz, who had previously left Paul Weiss to join the Manhattan District Attorney's office solely to manufacture a prosecution against me and who, according to his co-workers, unethically led witnesses in ways designed to implicate me. After being unable to convince even Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg that a fraud case was feasible, Pomerantz engaged in a media campaign to gin up support for this unwarranted prosecution."

 

EO 14230: Addressing Risks From Perkins Coie LLP - accusing the law firm of (among other things) "undermining democratic elections, the integrity of our courts, and honest law enforcement, [and] racially discriminat(ing) against its own attorneys and staff, and against applicants."

President Donald J. Trump Addresses Risks Associated with Miles Taylor - in which Der Furor accuses Mr Taylor of being "a bad-faith actor who weaponized and abused his government position, prioritizing his own ambition, personal notoriety, and monetary gain over fidelity to his constitutional oath."

 

President Donald J. Trump Addresses Risks from Chris Krebs and Government Censorship - which accuses Mr Krebs by name of being "a significant bad-faith actor who weaponized and abused his government authority" through his leadership of the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA).

 

Let's look at this for just a moment, shall we?

 

The President of the United States has issued royal decrees executive orders specifically targeting law firms and individuals against which he has a personal grudge, the EO targeting Paul Weiss being the most obviously blatant ("solely to manufacture a prosecution against me," "unethically led witnesses in ways designed to implicate me"). Mr Krebs' offense was to deny Der Furor's insistence that the 2020 presidential election had been rigged, while Mr Taylor is accused of spreading "falsehoods" and "false narratives" about Der Furor through his writings.

If you're looking for evidence of the "weaponization" of government power against individuals, you now have some spectacularly clear examples. The President of the United States has unilaterally directed specific punitive actions against specific individuals and against law firms guilty of representing clients who have angered Der Furor. Worse, some of the targeted law firms have caved to the pressure, agreeing (in the very definition of "a deal with the devil") to provide millions of dollars of pro bono work on issues near and dear to Der Furor's heart (assuming that a "heart" can actually be found). 

There are dozens of other examples of instances where Der Furor has stripped security clearances from individuals who have angered him, denied White House press access to the Associated Press because it has not wholeheartedly embraced his rebranding of the "Gulf of America," and taken other petulant actions which advance his petty grievances ... while his rudderless mismanagement of the economy threatens both the livelihood of Americans and the entire international economy.

It's interesting, but not surprising, that Republican members of Congress in positions of responsibility (I'm looking at you, Jim Jordan and James Comer) have turned a willfully blind eye to this outrageous, blatantly illegal, unconstitutional, and immoral abuse of the power of government. Today's GOP observes the Wizard of Id's version of the Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.

If you are a full-throated supporter of Der Furor's frighteningly un-American, self-serving actions, there's another quote you should note, this often-cited one from long-form history podcaster Dan Carlin: Imagine all that power in the hands of someone you loathe. When the President of the United States gets around to turning his sights on you, your America won't seem quite so great.

Have a good day. Hope the most powerful person in America doesn't decide to turn the whole weight of the federal government against you and yours.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* In the words of the royal decree executive order, "The American people have witnessed the previous administration engage in a systematic campaign against its perceived political opponents, weaponizing the legal force of numerous Federal law enforcement agencies and the Intelligence Community against those perceived political opponents in the form of investigations, prosecutions, civil enforcement actions, and other related actions. These actions appear oriented more toward inflicting political pain than toward pursuing actual justice or legitimate governmental objectives. Many of these activities appear to be inconsistent with the Constitution and/or the laws of the United States ..." Sounds to me exactly like what we're seeing now.

** A complete list of royal decrees executive orders published in the Federal Register can be found here. The whole list of Der Furor's fulminations, including those not yet on the Federal Register, can be found here. Don't read unless you want to be depressed and disgusted.