Sunday, December 30, 2018

Musical Sunday

I know it's belated, but Johannes Pachelbel, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and I wish you the happy holiday of your choice ...

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. The new year is just one day away, and it's just got to be better than this one ... right?


P.S. - Get those votes for Ass Clown of the Year in! Balloting ends tomorrow night at midnight!


Saturday, December 29, 2018

Cartoon Saturday

Welcome to the last Cartoon Saturday of 2018 ... heaven knows you need it.

I normally lead off Cartoon Saturday with a compilation of the worst of the bad news from the previous week. This week, the selections were far more depressing than usual, and so I have decided to just go right to the cartoons, with a focus on the theme of the New Year ...

If you're going to sue, you need to be more specific ...

Yep, this is Agnes and I ...

Truth ...

I need one of those calendars ...

I think I'd double-check, just in case ...

I guess you'd only need to make them once ...

Sounds right to me ...

Mine, too ...

This is how I usually feel on New Year's Day ...

Good idea for a head start on 2019 ...

And that's it for our last Cartoon Saturday of 2018. I hope these weekly offerings have helped keep you sane and laughing in spite of everything.

Don't forget your Ass Clown of the Year votes - there are just two more days to go before balloting closes and we name the winner. Here are the standings as of today: in fifth place, Kellyanne Conway; in fourth place, the Republican Congressional Majority; in third place, Sarah Huckabee Sanders; in second place, Donald Trump; and in the lead with two days to go, Senator Mitch McConnell. Make sure you stand up to be counted - vote now and vote often!

Have a good day and a great final weekend of 2018. More thoughts tomorrow, when we celebrate the last Musical Sunday of the year with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. See you then.


Friday, December 28, 2018

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Here we go ... the last collection for 2018 ...

I really couldn't make this stuff up ...

Well, they found the right agent ...

I like a good sandwich, but ...

Bring your boneless kids on Mondays! ...

An interesting product warning ...

Why call the police? They aren't legally required to respond, anyway (see here) ...

I think I'll stick with my gin-infused raisins ...

I'm glad we cleared this up ...

I took this photo at a local shopping center ...

Stock up now for next year's giving ...

And that's it - the last collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for 2018. Don't worry ... there'll be a lot more of them coming in the new year, especially if you share them with me. Send your great sign finds to me by e-mail.

If you haven't yet cast your votes for the 2018 Ass Clown of the Year, don't delay! - the deadline for submissions is midnight on December 31st, and the winner will be announced in this space on January 1st. Chicago Rules apply, so vote early, vote often, and let your voice be heard.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when we cue up the last Cartoon Saturday of 2018.


Thursday, December 27, 2018

How Will Future Historians Know Us?

As long-time readers of this blog know, I enjoy writing (and receiving) letters. Indeed, a number of you who have responded to my periodic offer of a hand-written letter have now become more-or-less regular correspondents whose letters I treasure.

Personal letters and diaries are some of the most valuable sources available to historians trying to document the march of time and events. There was a time, not so long ago, when almost everyone left a written trail of some sort, whether as letters, diaries, or journals. This was especially true of many of those who were the movers and shakers of history ... you may recall that the late George H. W. Bush was a prolific letter-writer, as were many other presidents. Our Presidential Libraries contain boxes of letters and memos, many hand-written or bearing written notes and asides, and those documents allow historians to piece together the development of our nation's history.

Unfortunately, not too many people write letters ... or much else ... any more. Cursive writing is seldom taught in schools, and recent generations have grown up in an era of e-mail, text messaging punctuated with emojis, and tweets that reduce complex ideas to 140- or 280-character bursts of capital letters and punctuation. My mother wrote boxes of letters to me when I was in college and stationed overseas, and I wrote boxes of letters back ... all of which I found in her things when she passed away. Someday, my great-grandchildren will have all those letters as a way of knowing why Bilbo was the way he was.

I got to thinking about all this again today when I read this opinion piece in the New York Times - All Text and No Subtext - discussing Mr Trump's reliance on Twitter for even the most consequential of presidential communications ... like announcing the precipitous withdrawal of US forces from Syria.

Administrations past left voluminous documentation of the discussion and debate that led up to major events and programs, allowing their successors to go back, review the documentary record, and - one hopes - avoid making the same mistakes others had made. One wonders what will be contained in the Donald J. Trump presidential library ... if, indeed, he leaves enough worthwhile material behind to establish one.

Although I love to write letters, I don't do it as often as I used to. I got an incentive this year when my oldest granddaughter went off to college and her father (my oldest son) was deployed for six months to an undisclosed location ... I tried (with moderate success) to write to them regularly. Nevertheless, as a retired guy I have more time available but more things I want to do, and so I find myself spread thinly among my many interests. I recently invested in a box of note cards as a way of trying to keep myself writing while forcing me to keep it a bit shorter.

Nevertheless, I plan to keep writing ... here, as long letters to friends and family, perhaps even as an occasional journal. If you want me to write to you, e-mail me your snail mail address and I'll do it, as long as you promise to write back. E-mails, tweets, and text messages don't count, especially if they consist of more than 35% exclamation points and capital letters.

Let's leave a tangible memory of ourselves behind.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.


P.S. - I wrote about this general topic back in 2009 ... you can read that post here.


Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Why We Need Batman

Every time I think things can't get any more screwed up, reality tosses another large bucket of cold water in my face to bring me back to my senses. The latest is summed up in this recent Washington Post article: U.S. Judge Says Law Enforcement Officers Had No Legal Duty to Protect Parkland Students During Mass Shooting.

Let that sink in for a moment. A Federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit brought by survivors of the massacre at Parkland High School in Florida against Broward County, the Broward County Sheriff, and several named law enforcement officers on the grounds that law enforcement personnel were not legally required under the US Constitution to protect them.

According to the judge's ruling*, police officers have no legal duty to protect you if you are threatened by an armed civilian, because the 14th Amendment to the Constitution (the basis of the students' lawsuit) only requires protection from state actors ... not private ones. The judge wrote that the "Due Process Clause" of the 14th Amendment** "protects individuals first and foremost from action taken by the state," and that "nothing in the language of the Due Process Clause itself requires the State to protect the life, liberty, and property of its citizens against invasion by private actors."

Another article discussing the case, this one in the New York Times, quoted Darren L. Hutchinson, a professor and associate dean at the University of Florida School of Law, who said that “Neither the Constitution, nor state law, impose a general duty upon police officers or other governmental officials to protect individual persons from harm — even when they know the harm will occur ... Police can watch someone attack you, refuse to intervene and not violate the Constitution.”


If we accept this reasoning, there doesn't seem to be much point in spending tax money on police departments which have no legal responsibility to protect us from anything except the Federal Government***. Further - and worse, from my perspective - it bolsters the arguments of Second Amendment zealots who insist that we must all pack heat because we can't depend on the police to protect us.

If any lawyer out there can explain this travesty to me, I'd be delighted to hear it.

In the meantime, I think there just might be a silver lining inside this vast dark cloud ... because our police seem to be constitutionally required to protect us only from our government, I wonder if I can get them to go after Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, and all the other menacing government characters that are placing us in danger. Hmmm ...

Have a good day, and don't bother calling 911 unless you're being menaced by a government employee. Just reach for the Batphone.


* I have been trying to lay hands on a copy of the actual ruling, but have as yet been unable to find one online. I have only the quotes cited in various newspapers.

** In case you were wondering, the "Due Process Clause" of the 14th Amendment (the second sentence of Section 1 of the Amendment) reads: "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

*** Although heaven knows we (not to mention the rest of the world) need some protection from it under the current Administration.

† Idle hands are said to be the devil's playground, and lots of government employees have idle hands while they're furloughed.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Christmas, 2018

Today is Christmas Day, the day on which Christians around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, whose lessons and example many of them find admirable in theory but decline to follow in practice. Beyond the Christian world, it is a season for general good cheer, the exchange of gifts, and a month of uplifting and sentimental television shows which temporarily offset the sex, violence, and cynicism of the rest of the year.

We’ve long bemoaned the commercialization of Christmas, in which the purchase and exchange of gifts has replaced thoughtful contemplation and love of family. But now, Christmas has been politicized just like everything else. Conservative shouting heads complain about a “war on Christmas,” and both Christians and non-Christians complain about discrimination because they don’t want to have to be exposed to religious ideas and traditions which are not their own. Angry idiots object to hearing a generic “Happy Holidays” or "Season's Greetings" instead of "Merry Christmas," "Happy Hanukkah," "Happy Solstice," "Happy Kwanzaa," "Happy Festivus," or other seasonal holiday. Nuisance lawsuits force towns and cities to remove nativity displays from public places. Scrooge lives on.

The traditional Christmas story that most of us recognize is told in the Bible in the second chapter of the gospel of Matthew:

2:8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 
2:9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 
2:10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
2:11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. 
2:12 And this shall be a sign unto you; You shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 
2:13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 
2:14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Whatever happened to the part about “peace on earth and goodwill toward men*?” It seems to have been replaced by “peace on earth, goodwill only to those who agree with me, and the rest of you can go to Hell.” It’s been replaced by rigid intolerance and stiff-necked self-righteousness that belie both the spirit of the season and the values and teachings of the person whose birth is being celebrated.

Nevertheless, for those willing to put aside their cultural tunnel vision and their petty carping and hatreds, the Christmas season offers a time for joy and renewal, regardless of the religious tradition they profess to follow. It’s a season in which persons of goodwill can come together and treat each other like real human beings rather than like despised “others” … if, of course, they’re willing to bend enough to do so.

And it is, above all, a season for children, who have not yet been spoiled by the cynicism and hatred they’ll learn all too soon. The look on a child’s face on Christmas morning is a wonderful thing, and it reminds us that there is still joy to be found in life, if only we can get past the greed, selfishness, and political chicanery.

And so, Dear Readers, Agnes and I wish all of you a very joyous holiday of your choice and a safe, happy, and healthy new year. Blog on!

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.


* Okay, “persons.” Don’t get your holiday knickers in a twist.

Monday, December 24, 2018

Christmas Eve, 2018

Today is the day of Christmas Eve, when millions of people across the nation and the world make their annual pilgrimage to the mall in search of the gifts they haven't yet purchased, or frantically await the arrival of the auxiliary Santas from FedEx and UPS with gifts bought online that were "guaranteed" to arrive by Christmas. Tonight, children will set out milk and cookies for Santa and desperately try to stay up late in hopes of seeing him, parents will use salty language as they try to deal with the toy for which "some assembly (is) required*," and stores will sell out of the batteries you didn't realize you needed for that toy for which "some assembly (is) required."

Here's timely quote from Dave Barry:

"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space**" ...

Ah, the holidays!

There are other Christmas Eve activities going on as well, such as the traditional Denial of Responsibility by Donald "Grinch" Trump for the results of (fill in stupid decision here), and the half-hearted search for a solution to the partial government shutdown (for which Mr Trump, having definitively and on tape before a large audience, has claimed full responsibility, but now blames on Congressional Democrats). No peace on earth, here.

Today's commentary is fairly short ... I'll have more to say tomorrow in my traditional Christmas Day post. I'll just warn you to be careful if you plan to go out today, because the stores will all be madhouses, parking lots will look like the beaches of 1944 Normandy, and drivers will be more distracted than usual.

And I want to see you all safe and happy tomorrow.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.


* "Some assembly required" is the shortened version of the statement, "Some assembly by credentialed mechanical or electrical engineers is required."

** This was one of my mother's favorite cartoons ... here's the original in situ in Esquire Magazine, December, 1960.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Poetry Sunday

One of the old Christmas traditions, not so much observed any more in the age of Me Too, is the kiss stolen under the mistletoe at Christmas. Granted, it was a tradition that easily lent itself to abuse, but I miss it nevertheless. This poem by Walter de la Mare gently reminds us of times gone by.


Sitting under the mistletoe
(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),
One last candle burning low,
All the sleepy dancers gone,
Just one candle burning on,
Shadows lurking everywhere:
Some one came, and kissed me there.

Tired I was; my head would go
Nodding under the mistletoe
(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),
No footsteps came, no voice, but only,
Just as I sat there, sleepy, lonely,
Stooped in the still and shadowy air
Lips unseen—and kissed me there.

Have a good day, enjoy the rest of your last weekend before Christmas, and don't abuse the mistletoe privilege.

More thoughts coming.


Saturday, December 22, 2018

Cartoon Saturday

Oh, what a week ...

Secretary of Defense James Mattis resigned his position over a policy dispute with Donald Trump; stung by criticism from Faux News and other conservative pundits, Donald Trump reversed his earlier position and refused to sign a government funding bill, leading to a partial shutdown of the government ... including his beloved Department of Homeland Security; the beautiful, iconic rings around the planet Saturn are decaying, and will be gone entirely in about 100 million years; Donald Trump, ignoring the advice of his advisors, announced (on Twitter, of course) the precipitous withdrawal of 2000 US troops from Syria and directed planning for the withdrawal of half of the US forces in Afghanistan (leading to the resignation of James Mattis); and acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker has reportedly disregarded the advice of a Justice Department ethics official to step aside from overseeing special counsel Robert Mueller's Russia investigation.

Christmas is just three days away, and we really need something worth laughing at ... so what could be better for Cartoon Saturday than a second collection of Christmas-related cartoons?

Me, too ...

Merry Christmas from the gun lobby ...

Donkey miles? ...

Busted! ...

At least the workshop wasn't partially shut down ...

Well, why not? ...

We wish you a merry GOP Christmas ...

Sad, but true ...

It's all in how you look at it ...

Oops ...

I hope you enjoyed this collection ... heaven knows we all need a good laugh at this chaotic time.

Have a good day and a great weekend, come back tomorrow for the Christmas edition of Poetry Sunday, and don't forget to vote for your preferred Ass Clown of the Year. More thoughts coming soon.


Friday, December 21, 2018

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2018

Time passes quickly, Dear Readers, and all of a sudden it's time to announce our final Ass Clown selection for the year -

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, 2018

And the final award for the year goes - for the fourth time, and the second time this year - to

White House Press Secretary
Sarah Huckabee Sanders

I was severely conflicted over whether or not to bestow this award yet again on Ms Sanders because she was last dishonored only a month ago, but the daily, relentless demonstration of her skill at tying herself into rhetorical knots in the service of a shamelessly dishonest president allowed her to edge out such strong also-rans as Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell. And if there was any doubt about her blithely oblivious approach to her duties, it should be noted that she recently responded to a question about her view of her legacy with the hope that she would be remembered as having been "transparent and honest."

What more can you say after that?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the final Ass Clown awardee for calendar year 2018 is Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who is receiving her fourth award. At this rate, she'll soon be eligible for a lifetime achievement award, just like her boss.

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for our last pre-Christmas Cartoon Saturday. See you then.


P.S. - We have completed the first week of voting for the 2018 Ass Clown of the Year, and the results thus far are:

5th Place: A three-way tie between The Republican Congressional Majority, The Credulous American Electorate, and The Russians;

4th Place: Paul Ryan;

3rd Place: a tie between Alex Jones and Mike Pence;

2nd Place: a tie between Kellyanne Conway and Sarah Huckabee Sanders; and,

1st Place: A tie between Senator Mitch McConnell and Donald J. Trump. Despite being officially ineligible by virtue of the lifetime award he won last year, Mr Trump has nevertheless received a very large number of write-in votes ... the write-in option being a marvelously GOP-ish dodge around the rules.

Don't forget to cast your votes today! And tomorrow! Chicago Rules apply and balloting closes at midnight on December 31st. Let your voice be heard!


Monday, December 17, 2018

Voting Now Open for the 2018 Ass Clown of the Year!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today is the official start of the selection campaign for

The 2018 Ass Clown of the Year

By December 21st (the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for December, and the last biweekly award for the year) I will have named 25 individual awardees in 2018, all of whom are eligible for the annual award. Of course, if there's someone I missed or someone you like better, you are free to vote for the write-in candidate of your choice. Here are the basic ground rules for the Ass Clown of the Year voting, unchanged from previous years except as noted:

- Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your pets, your friends' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, I ask only that you not cast more than ten votes at any one time for any one candidate ... just vote more often.

- You may vote for any of the 25 biweekly award winners (the first 24 are listed below, and the last will be announced in the blog on December 21st), or for anyone else you wish. SPECIAL NOTE: Donald Trump, having been presented a lifetime achievement award last year, is no longer eligible for selection, regardless of how much he may deserve it. There are plenty of other candidates, many of them in the Trump administration or in Trump business and legal circles, who deserve your votes, too.

- You need not be legally authorized to vote in the United States. The law doesn't matter to the Administration, why should it matter to you?

- Photo ID is not required. If you are concerned that the Russians (or the Chinese, or one or the other political party) will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that conspiracy theorists who are already convinced that elections are rigged will assume that any IDs presented will be phony, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof other than conformity to one's preconceived notions. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about the Russians.

- Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on any blog post between now and then; by sending me an e-mail; by sending me a PM or leaving a comment on Facebook if we are connected there; or in person if we should happen to meet. If you choose to cast your votes in person, be advised that your candidate's chances of winning are enhanced by the provision of adult beverages and tasty snacks. Yes, it's bribery, but in today's political environment that's okay unless the other side is doing it.

I will provide periodic updates on the balloting as necessary, and will announce the 2018 Ass Clown of the Year in this space on Tuesday, January 1st, 2019.

Here are the first 24 Ass Clown awardees for 2018, and the dates of their awards, in case you want to go back and review the citations:

1/12/18 (Right-Cheek) - Richard Wolff
2/2/18 (Right-Cheek) - Representative Devin Nunez (R, CA)
1/16/18 (Left-Cheek) - The White House Staff
3/2/18 (Right-Cheek) - Senator John N. Kennedy (R, LA)
3/16/18 (Left Cheek) - The GOP Members of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence
3/30/18 (On-Crack) - Cambridge Analytica
4/13/18 (Right-Cheek) - Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg
4/17/18 (Left-Cheek) - Fresno State University Professor Randa Jarrar
5/10/18 (Right-Cheek) - Michael Cohen
5/25/18 (Left-Cheek) - Representative Mo Brooks (R, AL)
6/8/18 (Right-Cheek) - Virginia Congressional candidate Nathan Larson, The BCB Wall Breaker, and Televangelist Jesse Duplantis (Triple Award)
6/22/18 (Left-Cheek) - The Entire US Government
7/6/18 (Right-Cheek) - Senator Mitch McConnell (R, KY) (Fourth Award)
7/20/18 (Left-Cheek) - Representative Jason Lewis (R, MN)
8/3/18 (Right-Cheek) - Q-Anon and Its Credulous True Believers
8/17/18 (Left-Cheek) - Omarosa Manigault Newman
8/31/18 (On-Crack) - Representative Duncan Hunter (R, CA) and Margaret Hunter (Joint Award)
9/14/18 (Right-Cheek) - "An Anonymous Senior Official in the Trump Administration"
9/28/18 (Left-Cheek) - The Senate Judiciary Committee
10/12/18 (Right-Cheek) - Senator Mitch McConnell (R, KY) (Fifth Award)
10/26/18 (Left-Cheek) - The Republican and Democratic Parties (Joint Award)
11/9/18 (Right-Cheek) - An Unnamed Monster
11/23/18 (Left-Cheek) - White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Third Award)
12/7/18 - (Right-Cheek) - Secretary of State Mike Pompeo

Let your voice be heard! Vote early! Vote often! Help me heap dishonor on the Ass Clowns who work so hard to Make America Groan Again.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.


Sunday, December 16, 2018

Musical Sunday

This past Friday, we celebrated the birthday of the legendary bandleader and musical comedy star Spike Jones, of whom it's unlikely that anyone after my generation has ever heard. Lindsey Armstrong "Spike" Jones was famous for his satirical arrangements of popular songs and classical music - the Jones versions of songs featured gunshots, whistles, and cowbells, the band included instruments like brake drums and coconuts. and the vocals were ... um ... zany. For those of you who have never had the pleasure of the musical devastation Spike Jones could leave in his wake, here's a fairly long clip from his TV show in June, 1952, featuring a medley of tunes by Tchaikovsky, who is surely spinning in his grave ...

I would have shared his version of "All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" in the spirit of the season, but the quality of the video was not good enough.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Christmas is just nine days away ... if you haven't asked for your copy of my Christmas wish list yet, you'd best get cracking!

Oh, and come back tomorrow for a special annual announcement!


Saturday, December 15, 2018

Cartoon Saturday

Ho, ho, ho and all that stuff ...

Donald Trump showed off his brilliant deal-making skills this week, getting into a petulant shouting match on live TV with Democratic leaders Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer over his insistence on shutting down the government if he doesn't get $5 billion for his border wall that Mexico was supposed to pay for; according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, gun deaths in the United States this year were the highest in 40 years; the Senate grew the first discernible traces of a spine this week, passing a resolution to withdraw US military aid for Saudi Arabia's war on Yemen and to blame the Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman for the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi; a wave of e-mailed bomb threats caused concern - but no casualties - in the US, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand; and in Washington, accused Russian agent Maria Butina pleaded guilty to charges of conspiring to act as an unregistered agent of Russia, working for several years to develop relationships with conservative activists (including the National Rifle Association) and leading Republicans in the United States.

There are just two Cartoon Saturdays left before Christmas, so we'll dedicate both of them to cartoons about Christmas because, well, why not? ...

Yes. Yes, it is ...

Yes. Yes, they have ...

Money well spent ...

Busted! ...

With the size of Santa's naughty list this year, it could have solved the entire problem ...

Little girls want different things this year. So do the rest of us ...

The best part of this cartoon is where the lights were made ...

That's a really good approach ...

The rest of the story ...

I always wondered why he'd set up shop in such a remote place ...

Christmas is just a week and a half away. Our tree is up and decorated, the annual Christmas letters have been sent, the cards have been mailed, and I've made three cubic yards of Chex Mix. Ready to go!

Have a good day and a great weekend. come back tomorrow for a somewhat off-the-rails Musical Sunday. More thoughts then.


Friday, December 14, 2018

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

We're down to the last two collections of editorial and signage gems for the year ... today and the 28th will be the last opportunities for the year. Get 'em while they're hot ...

This is going to be a very strange birthday party ...

The warranty is a big plus ...

If you need to do your funeral on a budget and don't need the lifetime warranty ...

Chinese menu translations are always a source of ... interesting insights into linguistic thinking ...

I think this is probably the favorite Chinese dish of Individual Number One ...

Just who was it who cursed that pizza? ...

Minimum damage, thank goodness ...

There's got to be a great story behind this ...

I'm not sure it would get me to turn out, but it might work for some ...

 This gives new meaning to the term "busted" ...

And that's it for your penultimate collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for 2018. Don't forget that I'm always happy to accept your contributions ... e-mail them to me any time and I'll share them with the world.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then.