Sunday, January 31, 2021

Poetry Sunday


How better to mark the last day of January with a poem about ... January?
 
January 

“Cold as the moon,” he’d mutter
In the January of 5 A.M. and 15 below
As he tried to tease the old Chev into greeting
One more misanthropic morning.
It was an art (though he never
Used that curious word) as he thumped
The gas pedal and turned the key
So carefully while he held his breath
And waited for the sharp jounce
And roar of an engaged engine.
“Shoulda brought in the battery last night.”
“Shoulda got up around midnight
And turned it over once.”
It was always early rising as he’d worked
A lifetime “in every damn sort
Of damn factory.” Machines were
As natural to him as dogs and flowers.
A machine, as he put it, "was sensible.”
I was so stupid about valves and intakes
He thought I was some religious type.
How had I lived as long as I had
And remained so out of it?
And why had I moved of my own free will
To a place that prided itself
On the blunt misery of January?
“No way to live,” he’d say as he poked
A finger into the frozen throat
Of an unwilling carburetor.
His breath hung in the air
Like a white balloon.
Later on the way to the town where
We worked while the heater
Wheezed fitfully and the windshield
Showed indifference to the defroster
He’d turn to me and say that
The two best things in this world
Were hot coffee and winter sunrises.
The icy road beckoned to no one,
Snow began to drift down sleepily,
The peace of servitude sighed and dreamed.

And here in NoVa, January comes to an end with a big snowstorm ... a welcome change from the massive snowjob of the last four years.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Stay safe, wash your hands, and wear your mask. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Cartoon Saturday


Yes, I'm ready for this month to be over ...

Six people, including a pregnant woman and her unborn child, were murdered in the largest mass shooting in the city of Indianapolis in more than a decade; Chinese scientists have introduced a new Coronavirus test which relies on an anal swab they claim is more accurate than currently-used throat or nasal swabs; in a sign of the continuing turmoil in the GOP and the continuing influence of the former president, House minority leader Kevin McCarthy traveled to Florida to kiss Der Furor's ... ring; famed actress Cicely Tyson passed away at age 96; and in Billings, Montana, a pair of 10-year-olds stole an RV from an auto auction yard and led police on a slow-speed chase, running other cars off the road and generally behaving like most drivers of large RVs.

This week, because we need to laugh at something more stupid than Marjorie Taylor Greene, how about a collection of cartoons featuring stupid puns and general lunacy ...

Lends new meaning to the term "dating pool," doesn't it? ...  


Proper pronunciation prevents possible problems ...


There are benefits if you're a fifth-level orc or something ...


It's a new world of spydom ...


Now, that's a sweet pun ...


Well, where else would they go for treatment? ...


Well, it's the truth ... sort of ...


There's a similar problem for former employees of Der Furor ...


If Caesar had been murdered today ...


Strategic planning for the food fight ...


And that's it for this week. Hope I helped you get over the ongoing horror of GOP politics.

Come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, January 29, 2021

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2021


Not long ago, one of my friends commented about how long it's been since we had an Ass Clown Award presented to someone who was not a political figure. I hadn't thought about it, but went back and checked my records (yes, I keep them) and discovered that the last non-political presentation was the Right-Cheek Award in August of 2020 to the tens of thousands of clueless twits who attended the Sturgis motorcycle rally in defiance of public health warnings about the dangers of Covid-19.

Having realized that, I made a major effort to seek out a non-political individual or group for this period's award. There were quite a few possible awardees (the members of the anti-vaccination movement were high on the list), but in the end I had to go where the most spectacular ass clownery was to be found, which remains the political arena. And so, as we approach the end of the first month of the no-longer-new year, cometh the hour, cometh the man ... or, in this case, woman.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award for January, 2021


is presented to

Representative
Marjorie Taylor Greene (R, GA-14)


At a time when there are countless numbers of extraordinarily strange people running around loose and unsupervised, many of whom are running for election as Republicans, Marjorie Taylor Greene stands out. She is an unabashed and noisy believer in the bizarre Q-Anon conspiracy theory, and a vocal advocate of the thoroughly-discredited belief that Der Furor won an election he lost by more than 7 million votes. She is a loud supporter of the ghastly theory that the massacre of students at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012 was "staged," and that the mass shooting at Florida's Parkland High School in 2018 was a "false-flag operation;" she followed and harassed Parkland survivor David Hogg on Capitol Hill in March, 2019, calling him a "coward." In addition, she repeatedly indicated her support for executing prominent Democratic politicians in 2018 and 2019 before she was elected to Congress. Needless to say, she has been busily working to delete her most incendiary Twitter and Facebook posts as they are coming back to haunt her.

Despite all of her strange and dangerous beliefs ... or, perhaps, because of them ... the House Republican leadership has appointed Ms Greene to the Education and Labor Committee, a committee which, according to its website, stands for (among other things) "Holding Government Accountable" and "Education and Opportunity for Every Student." Given that the GOP believes in government accountability only when Democrats are in power, and that its approach to education was illustrated by the appointment of the useless and educationally dangerous Betsy DeVos* as Der Furor's Secretary of Education, the appointment makes sense ... but only in a world of irrationality and grossly inept governance.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene - the elected representative of the voters of Georgia's 14th District (who probably ought to be institutionalized) - is the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2021.

The nation is in trouble.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo



Sunday, January 24, 2021

Musical Sunday


After the furious flail of the last four years, it's nice to have some calming, professional adults in government. It's also nice to have some pleasant, calming music, like this great tune from The Seekers ...


See you in Morningtown!

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, January 23, 2021

Cartoon Saturday


Isn't it nice to finally have a non-embarrassing White House again? 

History was made this week when, on Wednesday, Kamala D. Harris was sworn in as the nation's first woman (and Black, and South Asian) Vice President, alongside some old White guy; retired Army general Lloyd Austin has been confirmed and sworn in as the nation's first Black Secretary of Defense; the United States passed the grim milestone of 400,000 Covid-19 deaths; late-breaking news reports indicate that former Justice department lawyer Jeffrey Clark, pressing the former president's false claims of election fraud, met with Der Furor three days before the deadly January 6th Capitol riot, then met with acting Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen and told him Der Furor was going to replace Rosen with Clark, who would then take action to prevent Congress from certifying the election results in favor of then-President-Elect Joe Biden; and a man in Georgia who won a new Corvette Stingray on a $5 scratch-off lottery ticket was disappointed when he tried to claim the prize and was told that the lottery administration had forgotten to actually buy any Corvettes to award.

In the wake of the sudden silence of all the lawyers who said they really ... no, really ... had evidence of massive voter fraud, how about a collection of cartoons poking fun at the legal profession ... 

You only use that term when you want the naked truth ...


Even a dummy knows to lawyer up when the time comes ...


I'm going to try this the next time I get called for jury duty ...


Some people just automatically feel the need to perp-walk ...


Yes, I think that's a bad sign ...


The right lawyer is an important part of good medical care ...


Absolutely yes ...


Modern childhood ...


I think I know an ex-president who could use this guy ...


This is how a lot of election lawyers seem to check things out ...


And there you go ... a few things about lawyers that you can laugh, rather than cry, about.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Musical Sunday returns.

Bilbo

Friday, January 22, 2021

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Once more into the editorial breach, dear friends ...

He probably considers it a "reproductive biology laboratory" ...


How about that? You can have it all ...


Good, simple signage always works ...


Oh, grow up! ...


You do what you've gotta do ...


Time for that stainless steel, RFID-protected bra ...


Bad dogs! Bad dogs! ...


He couldn't get a position in the previous federal administration ...


Nothing like a multi-purpose barbecue sauce ...


Well, duh ...


Have a good day on this first Friday of the Biden-Harris administration. Let's look forward to brighter days ahead!

More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns.

Bilbo

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Poetry Sunday


I really enjoy reading poetry aloud. Not all poems, mind you, because I don't think every poem lends itself to a good reading. Poems I think are made for reading, and which I think I do a good job of reading (pats self on back) are ones like "Casey at the Bat," by Earnest Thayer, "The Raven," by Edgar Allan Poe, and just about anything by Robert W. Service, the man known as "The Bard of the Yukon." This tall tale of Yukon adventure is one of my particular favorites to read aloud ... 

The Cremation of Sam McGee
by Robert W. Service

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
      By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
      That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
      But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
      I cremated Sam McGee.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.
Why he left his home in the South to roam 'round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold, but the land of gold seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he'd often say in his homely way that "he'd sooner live in hell."

On a Christmas Day we were mushing our way over the Dawson trail.
Talk of your cold! through the parka's fold it stabbed like a driven nail.
If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze till sometimes we couldn't see;
It wasn't much fun, but the only one to whimper was Sam McGee.

And that very night, as we lay packed tight in our robes beneath the snow,
And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel and toe,
He turned to me, and "Cap," says he, "I'll cash in this trip, I guess;
And if I do, I'm asking that you won't refuse my last request."

Well, he seemed so low that I couldn't say no; then he says with a sort of moan:
"It's the cursèd cold, and it's got right hold till I'm chilled clean through to the bone.
Yet 'tain't being dead—it's my awful dread of the icy grave that pains;
So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, you'll cremate my last remains."

A pal's last need is a thing to heed, so I swore I would not fail;
And we started on at the streak of dawn; but God! he looked ghastly pale.
He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day of his home in Tennessee;
And before nightfall a corpse was all that was left of Sam McGee.

There wasn't a breath in that land of death, and I hurried, horror-driven,
With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid, because of a promise given;
It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say: "You may tax your brawn and brains,
But you promised true, and it's up to you to cremate those last remains."

Now a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code.
In the days to come, though my lips were dumb, in my heart how I cursed that load.
In the long, long night, by the lone firelight, while the huskies, round in a ring,
Howled out their woes to the homeless snows— O God! how I loathed the thing.

And every day that quiet clay seemed to heavy and heavier grow;
And on I went, though the dogs were spent and the grub was getting low;
The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, but I swore I would not give in;
And I'd often sing to the hateful thing, and it hearkened with a grin.

Till I came to the marge of Lake Lebarge, and a derelict there lay;
It was jammed in the ice, but I saw in a trice it was called the "Alice May."
And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;
Then "Here," said I, with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."

Some planks I tore from the cabin floor, and I lit the boiler fire;
Some coal I found that was lying around, and I heaped the fuel higher;
The flames just soared, and the furnace roared—such a blaze you seldom see;
And I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal, and I stuffed in Sam McGee.

Then I made a hike, for I didn't like to hear him sizzle so;
And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, and the wind began to blow.
It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled down my cheeks, and I don't know why;
And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak went streaking down the sky.

I do not know how long in the snow I wrestled with grisly fear;
But the stars came out and they danced about ere again I ventured near;
I was sick with dread, but I bravely said: "I'll just take a peep inside.
I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked"; ... then the door I opened wide.

And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm, in the heart of the furnace roar;
And he wore a smile you could see a mile, and he said: "Please close that door.
It's fine in here, but I greatly fear you'll let in the cold and storm—
Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, it's the first time I've been warm."

There are strange things done in the midnight sun
      By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
      That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
      But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
      I cremated Sam McGee.


Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Stay safe ... and warm.

Bilbo

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Cartoon Saturday


Can we just skip forward to 2022? 

History was made on Wednesday, when Der Furor became the only American president to be impeached twice ... this time with limited GOP support; in the wake of last week's murderous riot and vandalism of the Capitol, metal detectors were installed outside the Senate chambers ... and numerous Republicans refused to pass through them, whining about limitations on their personal freedoms; Siegfried Fischbacher, one half of magic team of Siegfried & Roy, died at 81; an estimated 20,000 National Guard personnel will be assigned to Washington, DC to protect the inauguration of President Biden - more troops than are currently deployed in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Syria; and in New Zealand, hundreds of migrating geese are heavily polluting a lake with hundreds of pounds of ... poop ... leading for calls to have the birds culled and distributed to feed the poor.

This week, in response to the prevailing national mood and the rank stupidity of those who will believe just about anything, a collection of cartoons about conspiracy theories ... 

I'll never look at autumn the same way again ...


It's true ...


Conspiracy theories aren't new ...


Some people need it to make sense of the world ...


That'll teach him ...


It's a common worldview ...


Perhaps you shouldn't go ...


Some of them start early ...


Aha!! ...


That must be why my wine keeps running out ...


And that's it for this week's Cartoon Saturday ... perhaps, though, it's really Cartoon Sunday ... did you ever think about that?

Have a good day and a great weekend. Stay safe, and come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday, if they let you. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, January 15, 2021

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2021


It says a lot about a month when it's only half over and we've already announced two Ass Clown awards - the 2020 Ass Clown of the Year (Mitch McConnell), an Ass Clown Special Award (Senators Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley, and the GOP Sedition Caucus) - before we even get to the regular biweekly presentation. Today we make it three as we announce

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2021


It's always been difficult to select a single individual, set of individuals, or group to receive the award, but in the superturbocharged social and political environment of today the job has become ridiculously difficult. Nevertheless, however difficult and dirty the job, it still has to be done, and so - for the last time in his administration, so damaging to the nation and the world - I present the award - for the twelfth time - to

The Soon-to-Be-Former President


I still cannot even bring myself to write the man's name, preferring to call him Der Furor or "The Soon-to-Be-Former-President" (inasmuch as J.K. Rowling has already applied "He Who Must Not Be Named" to Lord Voldemort). 

The depths of disgrace and depravity to which this man has sunk and the scale of the damage he has inflicted on the nation and the world defy belief. His loud, insistent, and evidence-free claims that the 2020 presidential election was "stolen" from him so radicalized a large segment of the American population that it led directly to the storming and vandalization of the US Capitol by a howling mob on January 6th, 2021. He has the "distinction" of being the only American president to be impeached twice - in 2020 for "Abuse of Power" and "Obstruction of Congress," and in 2021 for "Incitement of Insurrection." He has crowed about his "accomplishments," which include (an incomplete list):


- A wall along the border with Mexico - which he repeatedly claimed Mexico would pay for - to protect the nation from vast armies of illegal migrants flooding into the country in enormous caravans. Most of the construction has upgraded or repaired existing barriers, and little new construction has taken place. Huge swaths of land in Texas, much of it privately held, has been confiscated for the construction and great damage has been done to the landscape and ecology. Numerous reports demonstrate that the wall is far from unbreachable;



- Ignoring science and basic decency in hopelessly mismanaging the response to a deadly pandemic that, as I write this, has killed almost 385,000 Americans.

Der Furor leaves in his wake a nation diminished, divided, and reduced to an international laughingstock. He has squandered any moral authority the United States can claim. He has, with his constant drumbeat of lies, caused a significant minority of Americans to doubt the authority and reliability of the government that has reliably served for nearly 250 years. While it's clear that our government has problems which must be addressed, inciting an insurrection against it neither the Constitutional nor the American way, no matter how many Republicans and other far-right agitators piously invoke the "spirit of 1776." As a recent commentator pointed out,

"Whenever I see a middle-aged white man who lives in a nice house with a wife and kids, driving a $50,000 pickup truck loaded with guns, ammo, and tactical gear, using paid vacation days so he can help overthrow the government in the middle of the work week, I think to myself, "Now there goes a victim of tyranny and oppression."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the first routine Ass Clown award of 2021 is presented to the Soon-to-Be-Former President of the United States, who also has the dubious honor of being the only American president to be impeached twice and the distinction of the largest number of Ass Clown awards presented to a single individual (12).

Let us hope that the new administration will be wiser, and that those deluded by Der Furor's relentless gaslighting will finally come to their senses.

But do not hold your breath for the latter outcome.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday returns.

Bilbo

P.S. - Some history and a question: Some of you have noted that the ongoing level of insanity argues in favor of announcing more Ass Clown awards. When I first created the awards, back in 2011, I presented them on an irregular, as-needed basis. I later began presenting them weekly, before settling on the biweekly schedule in 2014. The "Right-Cheek" and "Left-Cheek" designations began in 2015, and I added the "On-Crack" designation (suggested by my friend and regular reader John) to account for months with three Fridays falling on the appropriate schedule. My question is this: should I go back, at least temporarily, to a weekly schedule? I'm afraid that presenting the awards too often will dilute the impact of each one, but I'm sympathetic to the need for oversaturating the field. What's your opinion? The choices are: 

(A) Keep the regular schedule, with special awards presented as needed; or,

(B) Go to a weekly schedule, with the extra awards presented on alternate Wednesdays.

Let me know what you think, by leaving a comment, sending me an e-mail, or sending a message or comment on Facebook, if we're connected there. Thanks. I'll let you know the decision soon.

Bilbo

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

DUMBCON Update


Well, Dear Readers, it’s finally happened. I have bowed to the inevitable and decided that it’s time once again to modify my DUMBCON scale and reset the current DUMBCON level.

If you’re a first-time visitor here, this is the story of why I developed the DUMBCON scale …

In July of 2009 I realized that things in America had become so stupid that there was a need for a scale with which to measure and describe the prevailing level of stupidity among my fellow citizens. I used as my model the five-stage “Defense Condition" (or "DEFCON") scale used by the military services to set their level of readiness in response to world conditions. I called my scale the National Stupidity Condition Index, or DUMBCON, and set the initial level at DUMBCON 1 - the highest level. I bypassed all the lesser levels just on principle.

The original DUMBCON structure served well until January of 2013, when I found it necessary to add a sixth level – DUMBCON 0 - to accommodate surging levels of national stupidity.

But such was the ever-increasing degree of stupidity that I was forced, a mere ten months later, to add a seventh level – DUMBCON -1 (Minus One).

Less than three years later, on December 21st of 2016, in response to the ludicrous chicanery of the presidential campaign, I added an eighth level – DUMBCON -2 (Minus Two).

After adding the eighth level, I tried to be optimistic and positive, figuring that things just had to get better … but a mere six months later I recognized that the country I love had grown so appallingly stupid that eight levels of stupidity were no longer enough to measure it. Thus, in June of 2017 I modified the scale yet again to add a much-needed ninth level - DUMBCON -3 (Minus 3).

Thirteen months later, in July of 2018, such was the state of the world that I decided to add an unprecedented tenth level – DUMBCON -4 (Minus 4). Yes, Dear Readers, we had finally exceeded the number of levels in Dante’s Hell.

A year and a half or so later, in March, 2020, I thought that my DUMBCON structure had become too large and unwieldy, and contained too many unused levels. I decided to reset the structure and the level to its original 2009 state, and we have been at DUMBCON 1 since then.

But here we are, less than a year later, with a sitting president who is at best clueless and at worst insane, tens of millions of Americans who believe the most ridiculous of conspiracy theories, a pandemic – downplayed by Der Furor and ignored by his followers – that has killed more than 375,000 Americans in less than a year, our international standing reduced to the level of “laughingstock,” and a Capitol building that has been stormed and ransacked by a mob clad in Der Furor’s regalia and waving his flags ... caught on video beating a police officer with an American flag.

I don’t know if any scale can effectively capture the level of dangerous stupidity that is convulsing the country I love, but I now know that my decision last spring to revert to the initial structure was wildly wrong.

Effective immediately, we are returning to the ten-level DUMBCON structure of 2018, and resetting the national DUMBCON level to Minus Four:


Here is my updated explanation of each level and it’s descriptive colors ...

DUMBCON 5 (Code Green) - ordinary, day-to-day stupidity. Congress is in session; people continue to pay attention to ludicrous personalities like Rudy Giuliani, Lin Wood, Rush Limbaugh, Tucker Carlson, and Louis Gomert; companies plaster thick layers of warning labels on products in an attempt to avoid lawsuits from people injured through their own stupidity.

DUMBCON 4 (Code Blue) - things are more stupid than usual. Congress ignores the blatant criminality and incompetence of Der Furor and his lackeys in favor of the assembly-line production of conservative judges and tax cuts for those who don’t need them.

DUMBCON 3 (Code Yellow) - things are getting pretty stupid. People continue to deny the Holocaust. Kim Jong-un looks like more of a statesman than Der Furor.

DUMBCON 2 (Code Magenta) - start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People continue to believe clueless blowhards like Alex Jones. Crazy persons use firearms to kill large numbers of people, and the NRA says that the guns are irrelevant to the discussion, that killers would just smother their victims with pillows or something. Ninety-seven percent of serious scientists agree that climate change is a real threat, but conservatives refuse to accept it because "the science isn't settled."

DUMBCON 1 (Code Orange) - stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows. Businesses increase prices because of "increased costs," but your employer wants you to accept wage cuts and IOUs or he'll send your jobs to Mexico. The GOP thunders about the immediate need to “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act, but offers no replacement. People insist that wearing cloth masks – a simple measure for protection against the danger of Covid-19 – is an unconstitutional and blatant violation of their God-given personal rights and freedoms, second only to their sacred rights under the Second Amendment.

DUMBCON 0 (Code Red) - A level of stupidity far exceeding your worst nightmares. Q-Anon supporters wholeheartedly buy into a ludicrous conspiracy theory that even the least-educated, religiously hidebound person in the Middle East wouldn't accept; local sheriffs announce that they will decide on their own authority which laws are constitutional and will be enforced; and people actually believe that a government that can't pass a budget - or agree on anything at all - will somehow be able to get its act together enough to confiscate weapons from the most heavily-armed population on earth.

DUMBCON -1 (Code Scarlet) - A level of stupidity so far exceeding your worst nightmares that all you can do is hide under the bed and pray. Ultra-conservative members of Congress sincerely believe nothing bad would happen if the government defaults on its debts; Congress, egged on by the far-right wing of the GOP, throws hundreds of thousands of government workers out without pay while forcing others to work without any guarantee that they’ll ever be paid ... but insists that the Constitution says members of Congress must continue to be paid no matter what; and the House, the Senate, and the President unite to replace Italian government as the poster child for dysfunctional rule.

DUMBCON -2 (Code Brown) – A level of stupidity that makes you wonder who comes up with all this s**t. Tens of millions of Americans once again vote for a manifestly unqualified megalomaniac as president and accept that he governs via Twitter rants and childish insults (piously intoning that “I don’t like everything he says, but I like what he does”). Courtesy and civility have almost completely disappeared from public discourse. Credulous Americans accept without the least shred of proof Der Furor’s drumbeat assertion that the 2020 election was “stolen” from him, and believe only “news” presented by organizations and websites so far to the right of Faux News that they are in risk of falling off the edge of the flat earth in which some Americans, amazingly enough, still believe. When a howling mob of his supporters storms and ransacks the Capitol in Washington and threatens to kill House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and hang Vice President Mike Pence, Der Furor tells the mob “we love you” and “you are very special,” worrying only that the screaming mob looked “low-class.”

DUMBCON -3 (Code Gray) – Oy. Just, oy. A Republican congressman from Michigan says there’s no need for science-based policy measures because God will take care of any climate change problems.

DUMBCON -4 (Code Black) – Hiding under the bed and praying is no longer enough; it’s time to invest in a seat on Elon Musk's planned one-way manned expedition to Mars. Republican voters elect candidates who are avowed white supremacists, Nazis, and deniers of basic scientific facts. Despite the fact that the mob which vandalized the US Capitol was mainly dressed in Der Furor’s campaign regalia and MAGA hats and waving vast numbers of his flags, Republicans claim that “Antifa” and Black Lives Matter social justice protesters were actually responsible for the deadly riot and accompanying destruction. Even after having to cower under their desks in fear of a howling mob, eight senators and 140 representatives continued to object to the reality of an election their candidate lost by more than seven million votes. The last shreds of courtesy and civility have disappeared, exemplified by a mob that cannot put together a sentence that does not contain at least three screamed iterations of “F**K YOU!!”

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we are returning to DUMBCON Minus Four.

God help us.

Have as good a day as you can. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Monday, January 11, 2021

Ass Clown Special Award


On January 1st, we announced the election of Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky as the 2020 Ass Clown of the Year (for the third straight year), and this coming Friday, January 15th, we will announce the first regular biweekly Ass Clown Award for 2021. But given the events of the last week, and in response to a recommendation by my long-time friend Marilyn, I think we need to take a moment to issue an

Ass Clown Special Award


I don't give out special awards often (only two, and those both in the past year), but when there's a demonstrated need, I step up to the challenge. The first Ass Clown Special Award for 2021 (yes, I fear that there will be more than one) is presented to

Senator Ted Cruz (R, TX)


Senator Josh Hawley (R, MO)


and

The GOP Sedition Caucus

When Der Furor's howling mob of supporters stormed and vandalized the United States Capitol on January 6th, they had been egged on by the irresponsible rhetoric of Der Furor, Rudy Giuliani, and others who should certainly have known what they were unleashing with their unhinged language. For that alone, each of them would have merited a special ass clown award, but even worse (if that's possible) than their egregious behavior were the actions of members of Congress who ignored their oaths to uphold the Constitution and lent their vocal support to the deranged actions of those who believed the lie of the "stolen election."

Hawley intoned gravely about what he claimed was his responsibility to "giv(e) voice to the millions of Missourians and Americans who have concerns about the integrity of our election," and said he would never apologize for doing so, while Cruz piously intoned, “For those who respect the voters, simply telling the voters, go jump in a lake, the fact that you have deep concerns is of no moment to us?” Both men ignored the fact that the "concerns" they feel honor-bound to address have been fabricated by the relentless lies of the man to whom they have sold their souls and their honor. And both men took the opportunity to milk their sedition for fundraising advantage. Six other senators joined in this craven kowtow to Der Furor and his mindless mob.

And we come to the 121 Republican lemmings of the House of Representatives who followed Der Furor and his Senate enablers over the cliff of personal and political dishonor - The Sedition Caucus, they have been aptly named. Every one of them bears personal responsibility for the catastrophe, and not a single one will ever accept it.

You can read their names here

There are still nine days left until the nation is rid of the stain of Der Furor's corrupt and inept kleptocratic administration, but there is still enough time for him to cause even more damage to the nation and the world. Arguments rage for and against immediate impeachment or removal under the provisions of the 25th Amendment, but neither is likely to happen while a craven and spineless GOP clings to the power it has attempted to retain by theft. These people, who excused every one of Der Furor's misdeeds, maintain that attempting to punish their idol will be "divisive" at a time when "healing is needed." One wonders where they were for the last four years. As comic commentator Andy Borowitz has satirically noted, Ted Cruz has touted his "courageous record of opposing Trump for the past two minutes," and other GOP figures are likewise coming late to the attempt to distance themselves from the disaster.

They are despicable cowards who have sold out their country for conservative judges and lower taxes for the rich. They deserve our condemnation, today, tomorrow, and always.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the first Ass Clown of the Month Special Award goes to the GOP cabal which attempted to steal the 2020 election, headlined by Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, and the 121 members of the GOP Sedition Caucus. Remember them well; vote them ignominiously out at the next opportunity.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Sunday, January 10, 2021

Musical Sunday


This past week has been so terrible that we just need a beautiful, calming song to help get over it. How about let's let Bruce Springsteen help out ...


Here are the lyrics, if you're interested:

I'm standing in the backyard
Listening to the party inside
Tonight I'm drinkin' in the forgiveness
This life provides
The scars we carry remain but the pain slips away it seems
Oh won't you baby be in my book of dreams

I'm watchin' you through the window
With your girlfriends from back home
You're showin' off your dress
There's laughter and a toast
From your daddy to the prettiest bride he's ever seen
Oh won't you baby be in my book of dreams

In the darkness my fingers slip across your skin
I feel your sweet reply
The room fades away and suddenly I'm way up high
Just holdin' you to me
As through the window the moonlight streams
Oh won't you baby be in my book of dreams

Now the ritual begins
'Neath the wedding garland we meet as strangers
The dance floor is alive with beauty
Mystery and danger
We dance out 'neath the stars' ancient light into the darkening trees
Oh won't you baby be in my book of dreams

My book of dreams gets longer every day. I hope yours does the same.

Have a good day, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and take heart that better days are coming.

More thoughts later.

Bilbo

Saturday, January 09, 2021

Cartoon Saturday


Well, 2021 is off to a flying start ...

The Congressional certification of the Electoral College votes was disrupted on Wednesday when a huge mob, spun up by fiery rhetoric from Der Furor and his enablers, stormed and vandalized the US Capitol Building; in the aftermath of Der Furor's incitement of Wednesday's insurrection, Twitter has permanently suspended his account, Facebook banned him from posting for the balance of his term of office, and Former Attorney General William Barr called his conduct "a betrayal of his office and supporters;" President-Elect Biden has named Judge Merrick Garland, who was stiff-armed for a seat on the Supreme Court by Senate Republicans during the Obama presidency, to be his Attorney General; and the intelligence agencies of multiple NATO countries are assessing that Der Furor deliberately attempted a coup and may have had inside help from federal law-enforcement officials.

Well, after a week like this, we really need some laughs, so how about a random collection of what I think are really funny cartoons? ... 

At my age, this is not as funny as it ought to be ...


What was your first clue? ...


Me, too ...


It sounds like the GOP quarterly poetry night, too ...


Those of us married to people who grew up using the Metric system can understand this ...


Yes, there are drawbacks ...


Well, after 2020 and the first week of 2021, I'd believe it ...


Depends on whether you belong to the Toga Party ...


Need you ask? ...


Roman Bingo ...


And there you go ... a collection of silly cartoons to help you get over the shock and anger of the last week. I hope it helped, if only a little.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when we celebrate the first Musical Sunday of the new year.

Bilbo