Friday, October 07, 2011

Guest Post

Hi, everybody! It's me ... Nessa ... you know, the dog that lives with Bilbo and Agnes!

It's been a while since I've posted anything here at Bilbo's blog, but I haven't had much to say. It's been a rough last few months in any case ... do you have any idea what it's like to have to wear a fur coat every day during a Northern Virginia summer? It's no picnic, I can tell you. And then there was that two weeks I had to stay at the vet's place while Bilbo and Agnes went to someplace called Germany. I mean, the people who work at the vet's are nice, but they're not family, you know. I spent the whole two weeks trying to decide whether I should jump around and act hysterically happy when they came back, or just mope and ignore them and make them feel guilty. In the end, I went with option A ... I'm a Lab, after all.

Yesterday after work Bilbo met one of his blogging friends for drinks, and he's now sleeping a bit later than usual, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to give you my dog's-eye view of the world.

The other day one of Bilbo's friends posted a link to an article on her Facebook page. Now, I'm still trying to understand this Facebook thing ... it appears to be someplace inside the computer where humans send each other messages or ask one another to be friends. We dogs do something similar, but we do it by peeing on things and sniffing each other's backsides. I guess Facebook is a little less messy for sending messages, but the principle's the same. I thought I'd try sending a message via Facebook, but at the last minute I figured Bilbo wouldn't be happy if I peed on the keyboard, you know what I'm sayin'?

Well, anyway, back to Bilbo's friend and her post on Facebook. She posted a link to this article: Robot Dog Readies for Combat.

So, whose stupid idea is that? A robot dog? That's an idea so dumb it must have come from a cat ...

It looks to me as if the only thing this stupid robot dog has going for it is that it's able to walk and keep its balance. That's dumb. Even Bilbo can walk and keep his balance most of the time.

A robot dog. Come on, now. Can a robot dog run up to you and happily greet you at the end of a long day? Can a robot dog chase balls and frisbees? Can a robot dog scare bad people away from your house (unless he's got a built-in machine gun)? Can a robot dog lick your face and snuggle up to you and cheer you up when you're down?

I just know this robot dog thing is a plot by those stupid cats to undermine our position in the social hierarchy. And I know that there are some humans who will be dumb enough to fall for it. What can you do? All I can say is that if you think you need a robot dog, you probably also think you need to run right out and buy that silly iPhone 4S thing that'll be obsolete by this time next year. Or next month.

Humans. You guys are just so entertaining to watch.

Well, I guess that's all for now. It's almost time for me to take my place by the window so that I can bark frantically when that guy throws Bilbo's newspaper onto the front stoop. There's no way I'm going to let him think he can get that close to our house without knowing I'm on duty.

And I'm no dumb robot that has a tinny bark and poops nuts and bolts.

Have a good day. Bilbo will be back tomorrow with Cartoon Saturday.




The Mistress of the Dark said...

Its always nice to see a post from Nessa!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Nessa - so great to meet you.
I'm Izzy, my mom reads your owners blog. I too am a chocolate lab. Don'tcha just love this weather?
I can chase balls much longer in this weather than summer. I'm going swimming this weekend - do you like to swim too? Yep I pretend I'm a dock dog - maybe some day we can have a play date. I'm told I'm pretty darn cute. I think I may be a younger gal? Do you like young girls? And hey, no robot dogs....just silliness!

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Nessa, it's great to get the canine perspective. Labs have always been inclined to be agreeable and optimistic, unlike Basset Hounds.

As for the robot dog pooping nuts and bolts: too much realism!!

Bilbo said...

Hey, thanks Andrea! C'mon down and throw a few frisbees sometime!

Hi, Izzy! Good to hear from you! I'm getting to be a little old (but not as old as Bilbo)...I'm gonna be NINE this year. But I'm still ready to play and especially swim! Us Labs know all about swimming, right? I should tell you about the time Bilbo fell into the creek while he was throwing my ball for me! Stay in touch, okay!

Hi, Miss Pop Tart! You're right about those morose Basset Hounds. They're no fun. Of course, I get tired just watching those Jack Russell terriers, so we've gotta hit the middle ground, you know? Thanks for the comment!

Mike said...

Nessa, eat some pecans and then chew on a roll of cloth. Then you can poop nuts and bolts.

Bilbo said...

Mike, wait right there until I can come down and bite you.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Good tom know you're here to keep things in order, Nessa.

Duckbutt said...

Too much coffee for Jack Russells, perhaps?