Saturday, November 30, 2013

Cartoon Saturday


If you visited this space yesterday and were horrified to find no post, I'm sorry. I got a late start because our granddaughters spent the night, and Leya insisted that Agnes and I both be in bed when she got up so that she could wake us up. Naturally, she slept late, and consequently I got a much later start than usual and never recovered my normal schedule. On the plus side, it is nice to be awakened by your grandchildren (even if it consists of them jumping on the bed and screaming BOO!), and we did get the Christmas tree up and decorated. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

But now it's time for Cartoon Saturday ...

An 85 year old American veteran of the Korean War, arrested during a visit to North Korea, is said to have "issued an apology" for his actions*; US airlines are being told to comply with a Chinese air defense identification zone, even though the US government does not recognize its legality; a man evidently set himself on fire before entering a church in Maryland, where the resulting blaze killed two people and left a third critically injured; four people were killed when a small plane crashed in a remote Alaska town; and in Afghanistan, a two year-old boy was mistakenly killed and two women injured in a drone strike.

It's been a long month, and we need the cartoons as much as ever ...

This week's theme cartoons concern those wonderful software packages we just can't live without ... apps ...

You can carry sexting a bit too far sometimes ...


During the Industrial Revolution, workers were upset at being replaced by machines. But now there's an app for that ...


Do apps come in various calibres? ...


We can wax metaphysical on the subject ...


Had Edgar Rice Burroughs lived in 2013, might things have been different? ...


These were state-of-the-art apps when Mike and I first started calling ...


Congress works to different metrics than the rest of us ...


Your clever pun cartoon for this week ...


I think this is where Leya gets her jokes ...


Finally for this week, this is how I would do it** ...


And that, as they*** say, is that for the last edition of Cartoon Saturday for November of 2013. 

I hope you all had a grand Thanksgiving. We had two, the second of which featured an alternative menu necessitated by the fact that we were all still pooping feathers from the first one ... on Thanksgiving Day, by unanimous request from Leya and Elise, Agnes made a huge pot of her ever-popular Creamy Goulash, accompanied by her creamed spinach and a pot of homemade spaetzle courtesy of our daughter Yasmin. I think we have decided that future Thanksgiving feasts at Chez Bilbo will be goulash-, rather than turkey-based. I also hope that you avoided the urge to spend Thanksgiving Day**** shopping, rather than spending the time with family and friends. 

Tomorrow is December 1st ... if you haven't gotten your Christmas tree up, your cards addressed, and your shopping done, now would be a good time to start. If you need a copy of my Christmas wish list, just e-mail me and I'll send you one.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Yeah, right ... we know all about North Korean-style "apologies."

** Although I would keep the whole "off with their heads" thing, because it can be very satisfying.

*** And just who are "they," anyhow?

**** I actually heard it referred to as "Gray Thursday" on the radio. Oy.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving, 2013


It's early on this bitterly cold morning here at Chez Bilbo. Agnes is still asleep and all is temporarily peaceful and quiet. This condition will, of course, change radically when our daughter and the grandchildren arrive, but for now I'm just enjoying the silence.

Today is the holiday we here in America call Thanksgiving. Most cultures throughout history have had some form of feast to celebrate a good harvest, but the American version of the holiday dates back to the year 1621 when a group of Pilgrims sat down with the Indians who had, quite literally, saved their lives, to celebrate not just their first successful harvest, but their very survival in a strange and dangerous new world. The official Thanksgiving holiday dates to 1863, when President Abraham Lincoln decreed the last Thursday in November as a "national day of thanksgiving." In 1941 Congress - then, as now, always willing to fix things not requiring fixing while ignoring real problems - designated the fourth Thursday in November as the official Thanksgiving holiday.

There are many traditions associated with Thanksgiving. It's a time for families to gather and presidents to pardon a few turkeys, and it marks the traditional start of the Christmas holiday season (which nowadays, of course, begins just after the Fourth of July).

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. In a crazy world in which we too often focus on the negatives, it's good to have a day on which we can sit back and reflect on the things that are good in life ... the things for which we can be truly thankful. On this Thanksgiving Day, Bilbo the Cynical Curmudgeon yields the blog to Bilbo the Reflective Grandpa to think about some of the things that are right with the world ...

A beautiful wife that makes getting up every morning worthwhile;

Three loving and successful children who have made their own marks on the world;

Six adorable, intelligent, and loving grandchildren that can warm the most jaded heart;

The world's best daughter-in-law;

A job (for the time being, anyhow);

A home (where the mortgage company lets me stay in exchange for large payments);

Good health (for a geezer-in-training);

The good fortune to be able to live in a country which, for all its faults, gives me the opportunity to enjoy all of them;

The ability to write what I wish in this space without worrying about the heavy hand of the censor;

The ability to enjoy the good things of the world that would be denied by those whose harsh and intolerant worship of a jealous and angry God ignores the beauty and possibilities of the present in favor of a belief in an imagined paradise in an unknowable future.

I have many things to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day. And as I get ready to finish cleaning the house and preparing to greet our friends who will join us later in the day, it's only right and proper that I should take a few minutes to acknowledge that I am, as ever, most richly blessed.

I wish all of you, Dear Readers, the very happiest and safest of holidays.

Have a good day. Give thanks for the good things you have and the bad things you don't. And stay home and relax tomorrow ... you'll thank me.


More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Cartoon Saturday - Special Thanksgiving Edition


Well, last week's Cartoon Saturday was posted on Friday, and this week's Cartoon Saturday will appear, as usual, on Saturday ... but there are just too many good Thanksgiving-themed cartoons out there to pass up. Therefore, we will do not one, but two Cartoon Saturdays this week. I don't think anyone will complain, given the general condition of the world.

Let's just skip all the peripheral stuff and cut right to the chase ...


I always wondered what that "free-range" expression meant, other than an excuse to tack on a few extra dollars per pound ...


How the GOP celebrates Thanksgiving ...


Hmmm ...


Everything may not be what it seems ...


It's a serious question ...


Perhaps he knows something you don't ...


Planning ahead for the holiday ...


Well, that's another way to celebrate ...


And finally, a question I've often asked myself ... except that in the last few years, I start asking it just after the Fourth of July ...


And there you have it - Bilbo's cartoon tribute to the greatest American holiday. Well, it's my favorite holiday, anyhow. Tomorrow we'll talk about why that's the case. For now, if you're traveling for the holiday, please be safe. If I'm going to lose any readers, I'd prefer it was because you didn't like the blog, and not because you had a tragic accident*.

Have a good day. Be safe and thankful. More Thanksgiving ruminations tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Just step away from that turkey fryer and nobody will get hurt.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

More Print Gems


I hate to overdo a good thing, but I need to pay bills and do other un-fun stuff this morning, not to mention the ice storm that we're supposed to have that will result in the Morning Commute From Hell, so I need a fairly simple topic for today's post. How about a few more odd things from the world of media?

Some generous donors prefer to remain more or less anonymous ...


Al must have been really annoying ...


No, but perhaps we need a Grammar Control Board ...


I'm not sure I would have gone for this particular defense, but hey - whatever works ...


I guess "Homecoming Queen" was already taken ...


Well, who else would you call? ...


I really don't want to know the recipe ...


I wonder if her ex-boyfriend was working the captioning engine ...


Perhaps Heidi can expound on the sort of musical instruments people play in The Volunteer State ...


Say it isn't so! ...


And now it's time for me to throw money at my creditors ... the neighbors are starting to complain about that howling mob in front of my house.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Monday, November 25, 2013

Thanksgiving, Part 1


For a long while, we were able to have annual family reunions at Thanksgiving. Agnes and I, our daughter and her children lived in NoVa, my sister, brother, and father were in Pittsburgh, and our son Jason and his family lived in Dayton, Ohio - close enough that large (if not totally complete) family get-togethers were practical in terms of travel time and difficulty. But now that Jason and the Munchkins live in Germany and Dad can't travel any more, it's a bit more problematic.

We've taken to having two (or more) Thanksgiving celebrations each year - one a week ahead of the actual holiday that's the "family" holiday; the "real Thanksgiving" for friends and those who couldn't travel; and - sometimes - a third Thanksgiving to catch everybody who didn't fall into the first two categories.

We had our Family Thanksgiving this past weekend, and a grand time was had by all. Here's the proof ...

My sister Lisa and her family drove down from Pittsburgh on Friday evening, braving monsoon rains and dense fog and arriving about 9:00 PM. We all sat up, chatted, munched, and sipped until about 11:00 before collapsing into exhaustion.

On Saturday morning, everyone was up early for breakfast. Leya made scrambled eggs ...


... while Lisa and I provided the entertainment. As the host, I wielded the Grand Scepter of Brussels Sprouts (that somehow magically appeared in the yard at some point) ...


My daughter Yasmin and granddaughter Elise were in the kitchen in the course of the morning when I looked out and saw two squirrels race up the deck railing and chase each other back and forth along the rail. "Look, Elise!" I said ... "Look at the squirrels playing outside!" Of course, by the time she looked ...


The girls were giddy for days at the thought of seeing their cousin Elena again ...


The boys ... my brother-in-law Ed, nephew Eddie (who, you may remember, occasionally feeds me cartoons for Cartoon Saturday), and I ...


The girls - Agnes, Elise, Yasmin, Lisa, Elena, and Leya ...


And the whole group. This picture almost didn't get taken, because I couldn't remember how to set the timer on the camera to take the picture with me in it. It was Yasmin who finally figured it out. I'm glad I have children smarter than I am ...


On Thursday I'll have more to say about my philosophy of Thanksgiving, and we'll feast on ... Agnes's marvelous creamed goulash. We're turkeyed out, and Leya and Elise absolutely love their Oma's goulash. If anyone still wants turkey, there's plenty of it left in bags in the refrigerator ...

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Friday, November 22, 2013

Cartoon Saturday - The Foreshadowing


Yes, I know it's Friday, but tomorrow we are going to be celebrating our family Thanksgiving, and I may not have the time to do the usual Cartoon Saturday post ... or any post, for that matter. Therefore I, Bilbo, Lord of This Tiny Corner of the Worldwide Web, Defender of Sanity, Head-Shaker at Congressional Buffoonery, Lover of Grandchildren and Small, Helpless Animals and Ardent Devourer of Corned Beef and Cabbage*, do hereby declare today to be Cartoon Saturday. Get over it.

In London, police arrested a couple who apparently kept three women in captivity for more than 30 years; at least 26 people were killed in Riga, Latvia, when a shopping mall's roof collapsed; Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has exercised the "nuclear option,"** changing Senate voting rules to help get past repeated Republican blocks of presidential appointees; in Kansas, a huge cargo aircraft landed at the wrong airfield and managed to take off again - on a runway half a mile shorter than it usually needed; and celebrity dumbass Chris Brown was kicked out of rehab for acting violently after he smashed the window of his mother's car during a family session.

This may be the right week to get a jump start on Cartoon Saturday. And since the world is going to the dogs, let's let our theme cartoons for this week feature man's best friend ...

In a high-tech world, even the dogs are technologically adept ...


If you're going to teach your dog to beg, you should do it right ...


That's what Nessa would have done ...


Going to see the Dog Whisperer ...


Perhaps our so-called political debates might be more entertaining and informative if we changed the rules a bit ...


Just checking messages ...


I wonder if he has the right kind of license ...


Moving on to other topics, did you ever wonder how producers find some of the strange people that show up on so-called "reality shows"? ...


Modern art ...


And finally, I think this is probably what's going through President Obama's mind this week ...


Tonight, my sister and her family arrive, and tomorrow the house will be in the usual turmoil of cooking, game-playing, and other holiday activities. I hope your weekend will be as ... interesting.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Sorry about that ... I've been reading Game of Thrones and just got carried away.
** This would be news to the people killed in Hiroshima and Nagasaki.


Thursday, November 21, 2013

Seating Arrangements


Turkey Day (no, not the midterm elections, those were back on the 5th of this month) is coming up fast ... just a week from today for most of us. Here at Chez Bilbo, we'll be hosting my sister Lisa and her family and our daughter and the local grandchildren this weekend for a family Thanksgiving, and we'll have another Thanksgiving next week for our friends. I've been spending my free time drilling new holes in my belts.

One of the problems that comes each year at Thanksgiving, particularly if you are part of a large family, is the issue of seating arrangements. Who sits at which table, and who sits next to whom? This is often a thorny problem, and there's a lot of good advice out there online and in the etiquette books, but here's a pretty good chart that will help you think it all through (you can see the original here):


No need to thank me ... it's all part of the service.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo