Wednesday, November 25, 2015

What's Your Sign and Irrational Terror?


I recently ran across this interesting, if unscientific article: The Thing That Irrationally Terrifies You, According to Your Zodiac Sign.

If you believe in such things, my irrational fear (I'm a Scorpio) is mycophobia - the fear of mushrooms. Personally, I think this is ridiculous for several reasons. First of all, if I was irrationally afraid of mushrooms, I probably wouldn't love to see great mounds of them on my plate, saut├ęd with onions next to a nice, medium-rare steak. And secondly, I'm pretty sure that I may be a mushroom myself, based on the old saying that "I must be a mushroom, because they keep me in the dark and feed me s**t."

Here are the alleged irrational fears for the other signs of the Zodiac (with my comments, of course):

Aries (March 21 - April 19): Atelophobia, the fear of not doing something right or the fear of not being good enough. There must not be any Aries running for president.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Metathesiophobia, the fear of change. I wonder if those suffering from Obama Derangement Syndrome are all Tauruses (Tauri?).

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Eremophobia, the fear of loneliness. I thought it was actually the fear of using the archaic word ere instead of the modern before.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Agoraphobia, the fear of open spaces, being in crowded public places, or fear of leaving a safe place. I think I'll go back to bed.

Leo (July 23 - August 22): Zelophobia, the fear of jealousy.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Ataxophobia, the fear of messes (untidiness and disorder). Not a problem at Chez Bilbo.

Libra (September 23 - October 22): Decidophobia, the fear of making decisions. Former president George W. Bush, the "decider in chief" was actually a cancer (born on July 6th), freeing him to have no fear of making disastrous decisions.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): Claustrophobia, the fear of confined spaces. Not the fear of bearded fat men in red suits emerging from one's chimney?

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Coulrophobia, the fear of clowns. God help you during this election season ... you're doomed.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Arachibutyrophobia, the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Geniophobia, the fear of chins. I guess you're screwed if Jay Leno shows up at your house. I always thought that this was actually the fear of wish-granting figures emerging from old lamps.


9 comments:

Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer said...

I'm an Aries. It got me right.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I'm a Libra, but not hesitant in making decisions. Even bad ones.

Colruphobia is mine.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Spiders too.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

As a Pisces I do not mind a chin or two in fact... CATS are my biggest fear. House cats.

KathyA said...

Never would have spotted you for a fungi, or would I?

The Gemini one is fearfully true!!

John Hill said...

Gemini.
Nope. Not afraid of being lonely.

Linda Kay said...

As a Leo, I'm not sure how you can be fearful of jealousy. In any case, I'm not inclined to such. But if there were one for bugs, that would be me.

Anemone said...

I'm a Virgo with a fear of sharks.

Mike said...

Sagittarius here with a fear of being too young. Every day I get a little better.