Tuesday, April 05, 2016

High-Tech Hiding


In an article I saw online yesterday, a pair of scientists suggested a novel way of hiding the earth from hostile aliens using lasers to mask the earth's transit across the sun. Since earth's scientists use the fluctuations in a star's brightness to detect the presence and size of its planets, some concerned exobiologists have become fearful that terrifying aliens more deadly than Mexicans or Syrians ...


... could detect our planet and send high-tech, conquering armies to lay waste to the Earth before we can finish the job ourselves.


For myself, I'm less worried about little green men than I am about the self-styled "good guys with guns" who think they're heroically protecting the rest of us by packing ostentatious heat in the local five-and-dime.

But I digress.

If we can use lasers to hide an entire planet from evil extraterrestrials, what can we use to hide America from the horrifying hordes of illegal aliens pouring in from the less-desirable parts of our own world? Mr Trump has suggested building a gigantic wall along the Mexican border and forcing Mexico to pay for it ... an idea that has not been enthusiastically received by the Mexican government, although a similar idea worked fairly well for a few years for the East German government to contain the ghastly threat posed by West Berlin ...


Could we use lasers or wild light shows to confuse aliens trying to cross from Mexico into the US? How about if we erect huge loudspeaker towers along the border to broadcast Chinese music and trick would-be border crossers into believing that they made a very bad wrong turn somewhere? Or instead of a wall, we could put up miles and miles of screens on which we could project images of fierce dinosaurs devouring hapless immigrants?

I'm sure there are other ploys we could use, too ... anyone else have any ideas?

Have a good day. Deter an alien invasion today!

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

6 comments:

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Maybe make a small wall and caption in "Welcome to Canada."

John Hill said...

Make it realistic with some freezing cold air and artificial snow!

John Hill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike said...

Build little shacks all over the areas near the border. Immediately put the aliens to work selling/serving water to the new arrivals, at the two dollar an hour server rate of course. Only schedule them to work for a half an hour a day. Make them wait by the shack for their next shift. .... Oh wait, I'm getting things confused with regular restaurant servers. Never mind.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

What Mike said is so true1

allenwoodhaven said...

How about a sign: "Simon didn't say cross the border"? Then they'd have to go home...