Wednesday, June 08, 2016

I Don't Think I'll Be Replying


I've written before about some of the bizarre spam that finds its way to my in-box. That was five years ago, and the situation has not improved. Here are some of the subject lines in my in-box this morning:

"Am I Your Dream Love?" - this one is from "AsianWomenOnline."

"Double Your Income in the Next 2 Weeks (Work from Home)"  - this one is an immediate reject because it uses an objectionable four-letter word - "work."

"Get the Lowest Rates on These Amazing Dental-Implants" - I get ads offering me good deals on breast implants, too.

"Miracle Bamboo Bra Wants to Hear from You!" - I literally don't know what to say about this one.

"Finally, Give Your Woman What She Wants" - I don't think they're talking about long-arm sewing machines or the latest upgrade to PhotoShop.

"Increase Your Sex Drive. Try Test X180 Ignite" - This one came from the same sender as the previous one.

"Get Erections Easily When You Want" - At my age, I thought an erection was the process the Japanese use to select their government representatives.

"Sex Like Your Friends Talk About Can Be Yours!" - My friends don't talk about sex, so I don't think an "extra strength male enhancement solution" would be worth it.

"Many Large Settlements Awarded for Failed Incontinence Surgery" - TMI.

"Adult Diapers Can Be Discrete and Comfortable" - Thanks for sharing, particularly in the context of the previous e-mail, but it's still TMI.

Well, at least today's spam crop didn't feature any of those can't-pass-it-up deals on cemetery plots or cremation services that start arriving once you hit the big six-oh.

Have a good day. Don't click. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

5 comments:

John Hill said...

Every once in awhile I go through and unsubscribe to a bunch of those, but mostly I just ignore or delete them.
With so much of it, I wonder how many people actually buy from those spam emails.
It's too bad there isn't really a cost for the sender. At least with junk mail, there was always the cost of printing and the cost of bulk rate postage.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I will pass on the bamboo bra. Are they kidding? I dread looking into my spam; God knows what sludge there is in it.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Lately sex dolls have been the rage among spam.

Duckbutt said...

Bamboo bras and elections on demand? No, erections.

Mike said...

The only erection I worry about is getting vertical when I wake up in the morn.... whenever.