Saturday, July 28, 2007

Thoughts About Lindsey Lohan and Insurance

One of the things we all love to hate is of those things we spend huge amounts of money on through the years in the hopes that we will never need the return on the investment. And, of course, we all realize that when the time comes and we do need to file a claim against the insurance policy, the first thing the company will do is look for a reason not to pay us. One of my favorite Wizard of Id cartoons showed the Lackey introducing a life insurance salesman to the King. The King suspiciously asks, "What's life insurance?" To which the salesman replies, "It's like a wagering game, your majesty...we bet you will live long enough to pay us more in premiums than you will ever be able to collect in benefits." The King thinks about this, then asks, "What happens if I die young?" The salesman replies, "You win!"

I thought about insurance this morning in reading a CNN story about actress and professional bad girl Lindsey Lohan, who has made such a train wreck of her life that a major question in Hollywood now is whether or not she is insurable - whether any company will be willing to risk insuring her ability to complete a film according to her contract.

The obvious answer is that there are certainly insurance companies that will happily take her on, but at an enormous cost to her in premiums. She's made herself such a risk that she'll end up being a cash cow for some insurance company...which in this case will have well and truly earned its money because her bizarre, reckless and self-destructive behavior makes it likely that they'll have to shell out big bucks sooner or later

I feel sorry for Lindsey Lohan, but she - for whatever reasons - has made the decisions that have screwed up her life and led her to the point where her behavior makes her an insurance risk. The worst part of the whole thing is that it didn't have to be that way, any more than such a life is an inevitable outcome for any of us. She didn't have caring and loving parents to teach her what she needs to know, and as a result when she fell in with upright and well-behaved friends like Paris Hilton, she didn't have the little voice in the back of her head warning her to step back from the edge of the personal abyss.

I'd like to think of myself as the sort of wise, caring father that my dad has always been, and I guess in some ways I am, but I recognize my shortcomings. To the extent that I have two great sons and a wonderful daughter in whom I take enormous pride, I feel I can only take partial credit. That none of them turned into a Lindsey Lohan is one of the great accomplishments in my otherwise utterly average life.

So the thought for today is that if you become a parent, your job doesn't stop when you have the orgasm. There is a child depending on you to make sure she (or he) doesn't become the next Lindsey Lohan.

You are your child's insurance policy.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.


1 comment:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Poor Lindsay! She did well in being the next Britney!