Friday, September 28, 2007

A Parable About a Parking Space

You may recall a few weeks back reading my list of things that irritate me, one of them being the tendency of some drivers to block rows in parking lots while they wait for a close-in parking space, although many others may be available a short distance further on.

Well…

Earlier this week Agnes called me at work and asked me to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home, and so I dutifully picked up my car and drove to our local Panera bakery (great baked goods, horrific prices). As I entered the parking lot, lo and behold! A car pulled out of the very first space in the row, right smack in front of the bakery. I waited for the car to move on, then slid into the now-empty space. I was changing from my sunglasses to my normal glasses when I heard a loud knock on my window and turned to see an angry-looking young woman standing there. I rolled the window down and she snapped, “I hope you know I was waiting for this parking place!”

I had, in fact, noticed that a car was stopped further down the row, but as it didn’t have its turn signals or backup lights on, I’d ignored it. Here is what I said. (What I was thinking is in parentheses):

“I’m very sorry.”
(Why are you acting like the south end of a northbound horse?).
“I didn’t realize you were waiting for the spot.”
(You might have turned your blinkers and backup lights on to let me know).
“I’ll be glad to move and park somewhere else.”
(A little exercise might kill you, and I don’t need the lawsuit).

Here is what she said:

“Good!” Upon which she turned and stalked back angrily to her car, trailing clouds of righteous indignation.

So…

I dutifully pulled out of the parking place and drove down the row, where I found – directly in front of this woman’s car on the other side of the row – not one, but two open parking places, side-by-side.

I pulled in, parked, locked my car, and walked to the bakery…passing the lady who was trying to maneuver her car into the parking place she just had to have, which was too small. I went into the bakery, bought my loaf of bread, and walked back to my car…again passing the lady who was still trying to jockey her car into the place she’d insisted I vacate. She still hadn’t managed to fit into the spot when I drove past her on the way out of the lot.

I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m still frosted over this little interlude. The open spaces that were right in front of this lady would have made her walk at most another fifteen feet (five meters for you readers overseas). I’m sure it wouldn’t have killed her.

And we wonder why many Americans are overweight.

Okay, I’ve vented, and now I feel better. Tomorrow, I’ll do the post on global warming I’d intended to do before I decided on this.

See you back here then.

Have a good day. And remember: a little walk won’t kill you.

Bilbo

7 comments:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A great post, Bilbo. It serves her right.

Random Magus said...

I also hate when one car takes the parking of two. There are so many thoughtless people who'll park their cars in such a vile manner. So inconsiderate - makes my blood boil

John said...

Saw a Dateline feature sometime ago. On average, drivers took an additional 47 seconds to vacate a parking spot when they knew a car was waiting for their spot!

La Chanson de Phoenix said...

That's hilarious!! She was probably from Warren, PA. I'm willing to bet you ten bucks she was! (I know, I'm cheap)

No, seriously, that's funny. She passed up two parking spaces... WALKED to your car to ask you to move, walked back to her own car... hehehe. Oh my. That just tickles my toenails. Be frosted, you have every right!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Now that I'm sufficiently recovered from laughing...I think I would have been spiteful and pulled right into the spot and told her where to go.

This bizarreness happens so much at Wal-Mart all the time. It's to a point that I just park as far away from the store as possible, because there's always a traffic jam at the front, because of people waiting for other people to leave.

Amanda said...

Well, she got what she deserved. Funny post. Although, I'm very often in the situation of not being able to get my car properly parked :(

eViL pOp TaRt said...

This asshatness in your example certainly got what she deserved!