Really Bad Music

As I come down off the high of yesterday's 25th anniversary and look forward to this afternoon's visit with our newest grandchild, I had a hard time figuring out which of the ideas in my bloggers notebook I wanted to take on today. And then I was reading The Mistress of the Dark's blog this morning and decided to look back into my misspent past for an idea...

I've always been a lover of radio, perhaps as a result of having both a vivid imagination and a love of music. One of my early heroes was KDKA radio's great personality Rege Cordic, whose show featured some of the funniest routines and goofiest characters you can imagine. One of his funniest bits was his live reporting from the ancient Roman gladiator fights ("...and Spartacus is down, and here's the count: I ... II ... III ... IV ...!"), which gives you an idea of what he was like. Many years later, I had the opportunity to host my own radio program on the local public access radio station, and I used the Rege Cordic model. One of my recurring characters was Wallace Goldersnobble, the Fairfax County Curmudgeon-at-Large (now my blog persona)...the fellow always complaining about something. Another feature was "The Toxic Jukebox," in which I played the worst songs I could find.

Which, in my long and windy way, brings me to the point.

The Mistress of the Dark's Top 5 List on Friday was of "depressing songs." While I'm not in the mood to be depressed today, it did get me to thinking about the old Toxic Jukebox and the really awful songs I had stored there (with appropriate bubbling-cauldron sound effects). There are songs that seem deliberately written to be awful (Walk the Dinosaur by Was (not Was) comes to mind), and there are those not meant to be awful that just ... well ... are. I've Never Been to Me by Charlene is a classic example.

So what are your thoughts? What are the most annoying, awful songs you can think of. What are the songs that, if they come on, make you want to unplug your radio and throw it out the window, then run over it with your car to make sure it's dead?

My list includes (in addition to the two above):

William Shatner's cover of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (gold medalist);

Almost anything rap, heavy metal, or acid rock (I'm not violent, racist, and misogynistic enough to enjoy rap, and I value my hearing too much for heavy metal and acid rock).

No Charge, by Melba Montgomery, and Teddy Bear, by Red Sovine (hideous tear-jerkers).

Any other ideas?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo